Thailand - A Country of Wonders

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So again I am sitting on a place, laptop in seat and cup of tea in hand. I’m now flying over the Red Sea however, given our erratic flight path necessary to avoid the numerous no-fly zones that you can imagine exist for an Israeli flight crossing the middle-east. There’s a big difference in comfort this time, considering I am sitting in a window seat of an exit row, as opposed to the crowded middle of the middle aisle as before. Hooray for the poor man’s first class! It’s certainly made this 11 hour flight much nicer. Also unlike our previous flight, in fact all of our previous flights, we underwent the most extensive security measures we’ve ever witnessed while boarding this flight to Israel. Before we checked in we were drilled as to why we were traveling to Israel, why we picked Israel, where we’ve been, who has seen our bags, where our bags have been, why we would be on this crazy trip around the world, why we have two eyes… you get the point. We also had to endure the regular airport security, and an “extended search” where they patted us down and literally took EVERYTHING out of all of our bags and checked it. They swabbed our shoes and more - it was absurd. It becomes very apparent very quickly how much of a target this country is. There is an absolutely gorgeous sunrise outside our window. Please give me a few minutes…

Anyway, our past 4 days in Thailand have been wonderful. We DID end up making it to Pattaya the night our flight got in. We crashed in our hotel pretty quickly. The next morning we went to one of the famous tropical Thailand beaches to relax and celebrate my birthday (one day early, I preferred to be on the beach). It was very nice, we rented a few beach chairs and umbrellas and let the water lap at our feet for the afternoon. I was supremely tempted to rent a jet-ski from one of the many on the beach, however I was warned online that they are often scams that have the jet-ski break down and you have to pay for it. So, I, with all my self-control, withheld myself. That evening, we went to a few local bars and had an all-around good time. It was pretty darn depressing seeing the fair bit of prostitution going on, but I guess that’s what you have to expect in a place like this. The next day we got up fairly early and took a two-hour taxi back to Bangkok (for under $10 a person!). We checked into our hotel in the Old District, the tallest building in the region and we were on floor 22 of 23 with an excellent panorama of the city. We then went downtown to the MBK, which is one of the largest malls in all of Asia. None of us have been too keen on shopping on this trip, but we did want to go to this monstrosity of a mall just to see what it was like. In short, it lived up to its name. The mall was 7 stories tall and spanned more than a city block. The many main atriums were quite the sights to see. After having a good cafeteria style lunch we spent some time in a very “snazzy” Canon store, which was a lot of fun. Then, we went to the electronics floor. This entire floor was booth after booth of unlocked cell phones, pirated software/dvds/cds/games, and other various electronics items. It went on for ages. There had to be millions upon millions of dollars of goods on this floor alone. I found it incredibly hilarious that clearly none of the store owners had any concept of store-front differentiation. Every cell phone booth looked identical (and there were, literally, hundreds of them). After exploring this endless checkerboard of booths and fighting our way through the masses of people we briskly walked through a few other floors just to see the magnitude of the place and then headed outside. Our conclusion: anything that could be desired could be found in that mall. Oh, and the fake iPods were hilariously fake. We then took a tuk-tuk to, well, I really don’t remember, but we ended up walking around and came across the capital complex. Now, please bear with me while I digress on the ever-entertaining tuk-tuk.

Tuk-tuks are those three-wheeled go-carts that zoom you around the city like mini-taxis. They are enormously fun. First, you tell the driver where you want to go and then you have to bargain with him for the price. Kevin was our lead man on this and did an excellent job. Then, you squeeze onto the little carriage on the back and begin your journey. These things have quite the pep and the drivers are not hesitant to use their screaming machines to the fullest. The railings on your carriage are just enough to keep you from sliding off, but not enough to keep you from falling out if you hit a bump or take a turn too fast. So, there are holds above your heads to brace yourself with. We are so used to zipping around cities in enclosed taxis, so taking this open-air ride around a city really gave us a different impression. It was very fun to hang your head just outside the tuk-tuk and let the wind caress your face as the city flew by. Oh, and these things smell, but, I guess that just adds to the whole experience. There truly is no better way to see the city than by taking this grown-man’s go-cart ride.

So, we ended up at the capital complex of the city. Wow, the sun really is painting a beautiful cloudscape out the airplane window right now. I’ll let Raf and Kevin tell you what happened here as it was quite amazing. We came to Thailand at the right time - it’s the King’s birthday. Oh, and they seriously adore their king to the point of near obsession (he’s just a figurehead, as they are a constitutional monarchy).

We then made our way to Khao San Road, which is more commonly known as the backpackers’ paradise or the backpackers’ ghetto depending on who you ask. This road is a study in humanity and is considered to be one of the best people-watching places in the world. The short road, which is cut off from traffic, is essentially a communal living space for 20-35 year-olds backpacking through Thailand. It is filled with street vendors, shops, bars, neon lights, grime, and every nationality you can think of. It is truly international. Even on a late Sunday night, the place was alive with activity as masses of people roamed about their communal “front-yard”. I really enjoyed it and wished we could have stayed there. I had some of the best shish kabobs ever - oh, and you better believe that won’t be the last time I’m having grilled pineapple. We spent some time in a used bookstore and a Thai painting shop manned by deaf people. I bought a painting from the store to add to my collection of one piece of native artwork from every country I visit.

After a short night’s sleep we got up to see the Wat’s (temples) and other historical parts of the city. Unfortunately, we had some troubles with payment for our tour into the countryside the following day which took some time to resolve, but after that we were on our way. In short, we climbed the Golden Mount Temple which is this giant temple with wrapping staircases around the outside and a golden spire at the top. Besides anywhere in Nepal, I think the tops of these temples towering above the city are the only places where those tacky wind-chimes are actually pleasing to hear blowing in the wind. We then scammed a scam artist, which was hilariously ironic, but I’ll let Raf and Kevin explain that. After this, we took a tuk-tuk to the Grand Palace. Let’s just say that the name fits. Raf can talk more about this. Afterwards, Raf and Kevin went to a Thai boxing match. I didn’t want to spend the (what I thought was) expensive price of admission, so I wandered a little outside our hotel and then watched The Bridge On the River Kwai in anticipation of the following day’s activities.

We are all in agreement that the next day was the best of the trip so far. After waking up at 5am, we packed all of our things and headed down to the lobby to be picked up by our driver from the tour company we booked the day through. After an unnervingly long wait, he finally arrived and apologized for being late. We threw our bags into the back of an enormous and comfortable van and were soon on our way to Kanchanaburi province. Two hours later we arrived in a town where we had a small breakfast in a local café. Our cute-as-a-button tour guide for the day, Nana, introduced her 4 foot 10 self to us as we drove to the famous WWII Cemetery commemorating the thousands of POW’s that died building the Burmese railway. After walking around the cemetery we went were driven down to the River Kwai where we got aboard what seemed to be a wooden canoe. Boy were we wrong! What we thought was going to be a leisurely motoring down the river quickly took a turn for the better. As our boatman pushed away from the dock he fired up a full-on car engine that was openly mounted on the back of the canoe. He held a stick which could turn the engine and its propeller shaft sticking into the water 10 feet behind us. He turned the handle of said stick and we lurched forward. All of a sudden, we found ourselves flying at nearly 30 mph down the river, only a few inches above the water, with nothing but a wood plank under us and some crazed man wielding a giant car engine behind us. It felt really good to fly across the water again, as I haven’t been in our boat in a while. It felt REALLY good. It was rather unnerving that something so powerful was attached to what truly was essentially a long wooden canoe, but the passing scenery and wind in our faces whisked our worries away. This driver also passed extremely close to the shoreline, in what couldn’t have been more than a foot of water. I guess he really knows the river! After this adrenaline pumping ride we got out at the JEATH War Museum. Nana informed us that it is called JEATH for the Japenese, English, American, Thai, and Holland workers/POWs that died building the infamous railroad. The museum was inside of a hut that was made out of bamboo in the style that the POW huts were made. Nana was happy to give us extra details about the many newspaper articles, pictures, and artifacts found in the museum. We then boated to the Khao Poon Cave, which is a temple that has been built into a large cave complex adjacent to the river. We had a great trek into the cave exploring the various rooms and tiny passages here and there. A troop of Thai boy scouts ran through at about this time and were quite excited to speak to us in the little English they knew. After this we jumped back in our power-canoe and zoomed down the beautiful river. The jungle butts right up to the warm water and made for impressive passing scenery with humps of land jutting upwards in the distance. Apparently, there’s nothing dangerous in the water, according to Nana, which is impressive considering this is a jungle river in a tropical country. After some time we reached the infamous Bridge Over the River Kwai. We had learned in the JEATH War Museum that this was not the original bridge, nor the one built afterwards, as both had been bombed. However, many of the original railroad ties were still being used. We got out and walked across the bridge where we fed Elephants on the other side. They have quite snotty trunks! Oh, and they are BIG. You don’t want to piss these guys off. We then had a great lunch on a floating restaurant next to the bridge. After this, we got into the van and began driving towards one of the most exhilarating experiences ever.

Lions, tigers, and bears (oh my, and other animals) greeted us at the Wat Pha Luang Ta Bua - more commonly known as the Tiger Temple. The grounds have animals openly ranging all about. After walking by deer, boars, peacocks, and other animals, we made our way to the Tiger Canyon. We were greeted by free ranging tigers. Yes, they could run up to us if they wanted (well, a couple of them had chains, but supposedly they wouldn’t hold if the tiger wanted to leave). We were led around the canyon by two volunteer Thai people who would take pictures of us with the tigers. Some of them were having cat naps; others were just having a lazy afternoon. Petting live and unrestrained tigers really was quite exhilarating. They are amazingly beautiful creatures. Amazingly. After this, Nana led us to some other tiger cubs elsewhere. Tiger cubs are adorable. I sat down next to one to have a picture and a monk pushed my head down to get it closer to the cub’s head. All of a sudden it spun around - needless to say I jumped back in fright. Everyone else got a good laugh and I put my head back down while petting the cub. He did it again. I jumped back instinctually. I was done at that point. I was content to just pet him. I still don’t know why he got mad at me. Anyway, he was cute, so I couldn’t hate him. Then we went up to the lion cages. These guys weren’t “tamed” as the tigers were. Anyway, they came to the edge of the cage to see us and I put my face up to them to look. As soon as I made eye contact with one of them (at about a foot away) it roared at me. I freaked out. It was only a small roar, but it rumbled my stomach as I jumped back about as fast as I could. I can’t imagine how loud and powerful a full roar would have been. We then found a cute and small (relatively) bear in a cage. It came up to us and Nana fed it some crackers. Then, we heard some growling/roaring coming from up the hill. We went up to find the biggest tiger in the grounds in a cage. This guy seemed a little pissed and was pacing back and forth while roaring/growling. Then, it put its front paws up on the cage and stretched as high as it could. This was very impressive as we realized just how big they are. It’s hard to imagine a more beautifully strong and graceful creature in the animal world. After leaving the grounds we drove to ride on an animal that is the exact opposite: elephants. At the elephant camp we got to ride and drive elephants through the jungle and then down to the river. I had never realized how big elephants are. We were many many feet above the ground. Their lurching bodies made it a little difficult to stay on. They are essentially massive tanks of lumbering fat. In the river we rode them while they bathed and played in the river (the Kwai again, except it was flowing very quickly here). This was quite the experience. The elephants would all of a sudden dunk their entire bodies underwater as you tried to stay on top. Their trunks would snake through the water and then pop up as snorkels. While I was on top of mine, my streak of animals getting angry continued. Unbeknownst to me, though, this time it was the result of the guide playing a trick on me. After not a peep out of the elephants the entire evening, he told the elephant to trumpet while we were in the water. It reared up and let out an deafening trumpet. I freaked out again, because I seriously thought the elephant had all of a sudden gotten really upset and I knew that this beast could easily roll over on me or impale me with its 3 foot tusks. Meanwhile, I’m trying to hold onto it. It then, did some various other head-shakes, trashes, and leans into the current which very much unnerved me. I really thought it was flipping out and wanting me to get off. I was half a second from jumping off and getting away as quickly as I could when he “calmed down” (clearly at the command of the guide). I guess it was funny. But, it certainly put me in my place as the physically inferior creature. It was a great experience though. We then had a sunset dinner overlooking the river. This ended our day and we began the three hour drive to the airport. We let Nana off and thanked her for all of her help. On the way home we almost crashed into two cows crossing the road. Our driver just barely managed to swerve out of the way in time. We would have been in seriously bad shape had we not had such a good driver.

All in all, Thailand was a wonderful place. We are sad to leave.

- Dan

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