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Published: September 28th 2014
That might have just been the funniest 4 nights yet!!!! Haad rin will allways be our favourite place and it just gets better every time. Had so many plans once again....3rd year in a row n still haven't been to the masons arms British pub that's 25 minutes away. We were gonna go to a few different towns and beaches but got ripped off by the taxi Truck man who only took us to one beach after sellng us what seemed like a tour for a set price. Never mind, good job we have the attention span of gold fish n we were back by 2 o'clock!!! Beach was lush though....mai haad beach. Not as many sorts knocking about as haad rin beach though. Our first night we were rediculously drunk.....like we slag of sun sex n suspicious parents then we act no better!!!! We've decided we need to grow up.Second day we were pretty much exactly the same.....drop in (our usual fave) has been definetley overtaken by cactus bar. It's like a conveyor belt of beaut Thais in their!! This night we ended up in the middle of a Jewish new year party......they had the karaoke out n everything was so random but hilarious....jew caps everywhere. 3rd day lying round the pool, planning our pamper night in...we were gonna get face masks the lot then out of nowhere we hear "oiiii blondie.....Newcastle....oiiii" literally shat wersels n thought omg who've we met last night?! It's only the Essex boys we'd had a few beers with on the boat from koh tao to koh Phangan and they've come over from samui. SHIT were gonna be pissed!!!! Took them to tommy bar......let the day sesh commence. This resulted in the biggest siesta we've had in a while (since Tunisia when we had a 4pm/10am siesta) haha. Woke up quarter to 9 went back down the beach. Sent the Essex boys off looking for hookers.....while we sat at cactus Peevin again....actually the drunkest Rachel's ever been in her life we think. She couldn't even speak English, hold her head up, walk or keep her clothes on. We've met such a random bunch of people who we've actually just named ourselfs....Essex lot....black Steve (mr motivator) if ya saw his dance moves yad know why. Andy hikki, Mario, oh boy, bun head, Alan hangover and the heartlypoolers, cap heads, skinny aids, stoner, uncle Gordon, gay frog. The weirdest of all was oh boy.......omg why does Lisa attract the absolute nut jobs???? Right so were at cactus on the beach....talking to Thai Kirsty....who's almost as drunk as rach.....and he comes over with his little bobble in his head, talk to him as we do talk to anyone then they literally follow us. Andy hikki was their with us n lived near us so we started walking back....oh boy hanging onto Lisa's dress the whole bloody way.so ya think you'd get to the hotel n he'd say bye get on his bike n go back to thong sala which is about half hour away on his moped. No sits on the balcony along with andy hikki Lisa and Essex Jamie who hadn't got a bang n was sat on his balcony when we got home...meanwhile Rachel's practically bollocko in the pool. It's hard to tell oh boy to go home when the only English he speaks is ... Thong salaaaa....tonight.......my bike!!!! Aye on ya bike....he looked similar to Pocahontas ne joke!!!! Casually told him ayeeee we'll see ya Tomorra we'll come to thong salaaaaa. Got rid of all the nutters put rach back in her dress n passed out!!!!! Woke up Starvin as usual so went for breakfast...Rachel's got cat aids coz the cat was chewing her big toe. Little shit was evil!!!! Note to self never wear a tassel dress around cats they think ya a toy n try climb ya, bit of a risk when we decided against the rabies jabs before we came haha!! Went to try n sunbathe at tommy resort yesterday but rach kept booin coz we were leaving Tomorra. She cried in universal travel as she was payin for her ticket haha then another 3 times at tommy pool!!!! Were allways heartbroken when we leave this place 😞 and we certainly don't help each other. Were gonna buy a wooden shack over here n rach said shed even eat the tin pot food to stay here!! Couldn't cope with the sun too hungover again we've literally sunbathed about 5 days good job were goin to turkey in 10 days 😊. Got back to the apartment......yas don't even wanna know the stuff we were googling that day!!! We'd be locked up if our google history got found!!!! Lying chilling on the beds thank god the curtains were shut but bloody hell massive knock on the door n who was it but bloody oh boy.....we could see his pony tail in the shadows. Definetley weren't answering so this led to us hiding on the apartment floor under the beds hoping to god he didn't see or here us....gutted it was half 5 n we were just about to get ready n go see everyone we'd met n we got stuck in hiding till 7 o'clock him knocking the whole time shouting the odd coooo....helloooo.....helloooo.....lisaaaa....lisaaaa!!! We were actually starting to get scared thinkin all sorts to the point where we convinced ourselfs he was sharpening his knifes outside our door!!! Wouldn't even let rach cough or wipe herself after a wee incase he heard her open the toilet roll! By 7 his shadow dissappeared so we quickly got changed to go out for food and ask to change rooms thinking oh boy would definetley be back later on to murder us?! Little did we know he's only sat about 5 bloody doors up waiting......he knew a few more words than we thought actually...."lisaaaa we go eat? I take you shopping to thong salaaaaa?" Eh haway man Asif I'm goin anywhere with pochahontas on his bike. Thank The Lord the Essex lot walked in......pretended one was me dad, see ya later oh boy come back Tomorra at 5 o'clock and we'll go shopping. "Ok ok ok 😊 5 o'clock tomorrow" little does he nah I'll have left the island 11 hours before and I'll be well on me way to Bangkok. Feel bit sorry for whoevers stayin in room 9 at black and white guest house today though....their gonna get a Thai sitting on their balcony all night from 5 o'clock haha. Actually feel bit nasty about it now but at the time of thinking he was a mass murderer I just wanted him gone. In actual fact he was about 5 foot high n 7 stone wet through....probably totally harmless just a massive stalker. Poor lad he's a bit tap'd like!!!!! Went down the beach last night only to say byes to people....tried to leave cactus for like 4 hours & they literally gave us no choice.....every time we were geting close to finishing a drink we had jäger and another drink in front of us....FOR FREE...it was hard work we were soooo ill!!!! Then and now!!!! Nearly cried at 5 am when they started taking the bar down....because we had to go 😞 say goodbyes and also realise the fact we were up in an hour for the ferry to start a 12 hour journey to Bangkok. Absolute whiteys and heart attacks all the way on the ferry....not gonna miss the drink, fags and red bull when we get home!!!! Absolutely mingen. So that was haad rin....massive piss up really....missed black moon party coz we were too drunk through the day....missed lighthouse party coz too drunk on the night....so went home and just you tubed the lighthouse family music instead n sang wer little hearts out to a bit of "lifted" haaa lighthouse party has nothing to do with them by the way. Didn't even do black Steves boat tour which we promised him every day we'd do!!!! But we did meet loadsa funny people and went to a Jewish doo!!!! Cushty. Stuck on this bloody bus now for 8 hours....rach is nodding on me shoulder as usual....gets off every bus n says I can't sleep on busses me....every time i look at her she's head diving!!!!!! Were totally done in...who'd have thought the biggest piss head of the Essex lot had to actually bang us up for our bus n he's mortal 24 hours a day....even he stayed sober last night!!! Were hating life soooo much.....yas gonna come visit us in our wooden shack next year?! On the plus side our backpacks are a bit lighter coz we were mortal this morning packing up!!!!!! Every cloud 😊 love that place....except drop in bars been ruined by tam playing bloody spice girls n Rachel's drop in dog had popped it's clogs 😞. Sad sad times!!!!! 1 last night in Bangkok tonight then airport Tomorra night. Once again we'll be cryin on the plane looking like gonks?! Tried to save a bit of money in the islands....first night we went to 7/11 and bought loads....crisps, yoghurts, cereal milk you name it we had it......rach ate the majority of the shop that night when she was mortal.....the other half got froze....why would u trust Lisa to set up the fridge?! Hilarious when we opened of cans of diet coke tipped them back n nowt came out hahahah.
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