Meditations on Nurseries and Hair Removal on Samui by SPM

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So, I work in a nursery ( plant, not child, as I'm often asked ) back in the states. The actual state is Oregon, but this is met by a blank stare of unrecognition among many Thai people. Heidi learned early in our trip to answer the politely broken-english question, "Where are you from?" with, "California", and that answer is followed by a smile of familiarity and sometimes a follow-up of, "Very big, yah?" Yes, California, where we don't actually live, is very big. Similarly, while Heidi was discussing Barack Obama with Poupe-- which is big news here, definately on the front page of "The Nation" and the "Bangkok Post", two major neswpapers here-- she quickly asked, "White House, very big, huh? " Yes. . .

Heidi and I met at a nursery we both worked at, and we have an affinity for them. So we were pleasantly surprised to notice an abundance of garden centers in and around Samui. Trying not to bore with plant nerdiness or shop talk, I must say, each nursery's "curb appeal" was quite extraordinary- every place put their Bouganvilleas to the front, all in full bloom with colors ranging from pink, white, red, orange, and burnt salmon, sometimes all on the same plant. More often than not, these were older plants with thick trunks, but only about 3 feet tall, kind of Bonsai, and planted into a 14-inch rustic terra-cotta pot. This made quite a display.

The first nursery we went to was kind of run down- lizards and giant beetles owned the place, giving it a safari-type feel-- and we were closely followed at all times by a silent female employee. The last place we hit was the best. The plant selection had a great quality, the varieties were diverse, and the quantity was plentiful. Not only were the Bouganvilleas in bloom, but the Hibiscus, Plumeria, Lantana, Petunias, ( full, purple hanging baskets of them ) Ginger, Papaya, and a host of others that we didn't know or couldn't remember. That's the unfortunate constant in the garden centers we visited- nothing was tagged with a name, description, or price. But the singing birds in their beautiful cages, and two friendly cats, ( dutifully chasing away lizards and flying giant beetles, I'm sure, and not unlike Xena and I.O., who I work with at home ) made this nursery a really nice place to visit.

Now a word on hair-removal in Thailand.
I am not opposed to "manscaping". I admire the effects it has on my appearance. But let's just say I'm not a shave-once-a-day kind of guy. Maybe once every two weeks. Needless to say, after about a week and a half in, I was gettin' a little scruffy lookin'. So seeing as we had observed many salons offering " we shave beard " services, I decided a professional shave was in order. I mean, Heidi had already cheated on me with her Thai massage lady, so I was due some pampering, right? So before I go on, a side note:

This may be a generalization, but all Thai people have amazing heads of hair. I can see why there's so many salons. Only the monks are bald, and they strike me as the every-day-shaver type. However, the mens' facial hair is in stark contrast to the black lion's mane that sits on top of their head. The moustaches and goatees are sub-par at best, and I've certainly not seen a full, thick, beard-- and quite possibly no cheek hair at all.

So Heidi, Poupe, and I head into a salon so I can get what I'm envisioning as a wild west barbershop-style shave. My face covered in a thick, warm beard of white froth, the barber's silver straight razor lying next to the steaming bowl of hot water, etc.., etc...

Here's how it happened:

I sit back in the chair, and a nice middle-aged Thai woman gently rubs down my face with two small, lukewarm, identical, slightly damp sponges. She then rubs down my face with a menthol oil of some sort. It feels good, and I think to myself, " yeah, relaxing, a nice facial massage..."

Then she goes for it.

Now, I've had my eyebrows waxed. It's not fun, but I stand it because without it I look like Neanderthal Man. Waxing hurts.

But as soon as this lady's razorblade-holding device touched my face, tears trickled from my eyes much like a small creek. It did not feel as if the hair was being cut from my face. It felt like the hairs were being plucked out slowly, one square centimeter at a time. And not in the places or angles you would expect. Starting in the center of my upper lip and moving sideways, (who shaves sideways?) pushing into my neck like I was possibly going to be executed, this suffering lasted at least four hours ( or maybe 20 minutes ). Hair was in my mouth, ears, and down my shirt. This is up there with the worst thing that anyone has ever done to me. When it was just about over, she kept rubbing my face with the two sponges, unmercifully rubbing the cut hair from my face. The sponges felt like sandpaper on my freshly-slaughtered face, and suddenly, it was over. I got up, tipped her well, and then went to the store to buy some lotion. . .
-SPM

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Photos

Lotus
WOW!!!

Coconut starts
So, that's how it works

Draceana
wow, this is just amazing!!! Huge Draceana with roots and sunshine!

hmmm....what's this
the outside is covered in those spiky things and the inside tastes like a plum and has a seed like one too

Ming Aralia, or is it False Aralia?
cool to see it growing so big either way

Calabash
that's what the sign said. I think we ate this too, kinda like an apple only really bitter

Blue Palm
Shaun remembers the name, but I don't