2. 01/07 - 05/07 - Think we've got our heads round it!!

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01/07/07

Woke early on the 1st and with clear heads and decided that we'd be really original and spend the day on the beach. Also, to show our adventurous and experimental personalities we decided to yet again go for the '53 Baht Special' (about 80 pence) for breakfast, Green Tea and Croissants (breakfast pastries has been a really tiresome part of our basic back-packing existence!!). The day passed uneventually, we met another couple of backpackers, Alex and Vicki, two rather posh Cambridge Undergraduates, and arranged to meet them later in the evening for a few beers (you could tell that our intellectual mutterings about bat and ball, lady boys and our growing obsession with budgetting/cost-cutting, impressed them). We returned from the beach and to our delight our landlord, Sayun (pictures to follow shortly, as technophobes these things take time), had our room cleaned, the drain cleared, and we basked in what we now consider luxury (we'll ignore the fact that we basically live in a shed in a mosquito-infested swamp and the water from the shower stinks of eggs and stings if you've cut yourself shaving......). Spirits raised, we headed for the internet cafe and killed a couple of hours checking out Liverpool and Manchester United's new signings, oh and e-mailing family, friends, my fiancee........Once we'd finshed we took Claire and Sarah (Irish back-packers) to our local Thai 'restaurant' ((they didn't seem too impressed with the 10 minute walk through the backstreets of Chaweng, past the hooker bars 'Hello Men, you come in for drink' (we've got smiling, being polite and running off to a tee now), and i believe uttered the expression 'are you taking the piss'. Still, once there i think they enjoyed it....... and we taught them some Thai.

The evening was passing rather pleasantly, then we went for a beer........

We headed for our now local, Henry Africa's, where we played pool, drank Chang and generally avoided eye contact with any Thai women. Alex and Vicki rocked up at 10, absolutely hammered (they'd be drinking from 6, had no dinner and had resorted to buying Smirnoff Ices from the 7/11), and our sobreity crumbled shortly after. We moved onto the Green Mango for some hardcore raving, and found out that posh people really know how to party........Afterwards we moved onto the Sound Bar, again surrounded by Thai hookers, pissed Westerners etc and mistakenly grabbed a table next to the pool which sits in the middle of the second part of the club. Well, it took Alex about 30 seconds to decide that this was to be our dance floor, and despite our protestations, we all found ourselves busting some moves to hardcore dance music dressed only in shorts and up to our waists in water (again, pictures exist and will follow shortly). This continued for some time although when a group of about 5 ladyboys jumped in, some with rather impressive augmented chests (or huge knockers), we decided it was 'dry time'. The night continued until about 4 and we headed home. The walk was pleasant, it was warm, a slight breeze, quite romantic for Barrie and i.......and then we heard a scooter. knowing that looking always means trouble we waited til it was alongisde us before taking a peek to be greeted with 'hello, can we just talking'.......ok, so now we are staring at a ladyboy who has clearly designs for something other than just a chat.....and then came the punchline......'do you want a blowjob?'..........i don't think i've ever responded so quickly to a question (no, of course) and made a hasty exit. The safety of our beach hut was a welcome sight, and we double locked the door!!!!!!

02/07/07

By comparison, the next day was uneventful. We were at the beach by 11 (after about 5 hours sleep), and basically just chilled out. It was however, the day we became distinctly aware that we aren't 21 anymore. Sunburn advice, budgetting advice, and leaving the pub early because we felt 'a bit tired' confirmed this fact. Still, i think that being sensible and physically unable to handle 2 nights out in a row (unless i can have a nice nap) is a good trait. Also, for the first time in my life i heard Barrie say, 'i just want a quiet bar where single women won't be all over us, begging for sex.......' You heard it here first.

03/07/07

For a change we went to the beach tuesday.....and we invested in a new bat and ball (we're getting through them every couple of days.....maybe we should do something a little more productive with our time......how about frisbie). We have now discovered the delights of food from the bbqs on the beach and with a menu of coconuts, monkey bananas, chicken, fish, sausage, pineapple, mango, you can't go wrong. I'm also noticing that my waistline is getting 'smoother', so a mini-Atkins style diet has been attempted, although i think that the beer and generally sitting on my butt isn't helping. We met up with the rest of our new gang......Alex, Claire, Sarah and Vicki at the beach, and arranged to go out for dinner. We went to another authentic Thai restaurant 'Cheers' Bar....and also had a go at the pub quiz. We did ok and finished second, got tipsy on jugs of Chang, and for a change headed for.......wait for it.......Henry Africa's. In competitive mood i ruled the pool table, beating the guy who had been on the table all night, although he wasn't happy with me playing dirty a couple of times and snookering him, still, thats just loser talk. We finished up at about 2 and headed for 'Dream Girls', a lapdancing club, to continue our appreciation of traditional Thai culture. As lapdancing clubs go a bit of a disappointment, we're too poor to pay for a dance and the girls seemed a bit bored anyway (reckon i could have got the crowd going more...still i'm away for 6 months, maybe i'll give it a go). We quickly moved on to Green Mango for more 'dancing/sweating' and surprise, surprise, Sound Bar. We avoided the pool this time, but managed to gain some male attention. Now we've pretty had the lot since we've been here, hookers, ladyboys (pre and post op) but now we have gay Thai men. Luckily 'my' admirer wasn't too pushy and got the message, and to my overwhelming joy, double teamed with his mate and attacked Barrie. For probably the longest ten minutes of his life Barrie managed to retain his 'dignity', until we noticed a gap in the crowd and ran. We managed to dance out the night in the main bar in relative safety (here you ONLY have to contend with hookers), and got back to bed by half five.

04/07/07

We had decided to move beaches on wednesday, and so, after about 4 and a half hours sleep, we packed up our world and headed for Lamai (about 5ks south of Chaweng). Claire and Sarah came with us, and bleery eyed we jumped on the local bus. 75 bahts each and fifteen minutes later we arrived in Lamai. We wandered about 50 metres down the road and after careful consideration, picked the first accomodation we came across. Big Bell Apartments became our new home in Thailand. We've gone to a quieter resort so our money goes further, so for less money than Chaweng, we got a luxury hut/apartment. We have windows you can shut, a wardrobe, vanity desk (not that we will use it of course), mirror, fridge, tiles, towels, a loo that you don't have to squat over and you don't flush it using water from a bucket, oh, and its clean. We feel like we are in heaven, and both had long hot showers before we went out for dinner. As a resort Lamai is a smaller, more relaxed version of Chaweng, and the scenery is a bit more striking. There are still stacks of hooker bars, but i think that goes hand in hand with Thailand. We went for dinner at the Sweden Bar (run by Thais and great Thai food), and have found that food/beer is cheaper here in Lamai. After dinner we went to see a live band 'Ovada' (Filipino group that cover rock/classic numbers, Barrie and i requested Stand By Me by BB King, evoked many emotions about some of the scrapes we have got into in Thailand!!!) in the Irish Bar. They played for four hours and were pretty awesome, and surprisingly, they could pronounce their r's, so maybe Barrie doesn't have to be 'Mister Ballie' for the next 3 months....We went to the local night club 'Fusion' afterwards and danced the night away, plus we got out pictures taken with a couple of ladyboys (nothing happened Amy, honest), and when you see them, you'll agree, mine was fitter than Barrie's!!!!!

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Comments

[Steve and Ailsa]

Glad you're enjoying yourself
Hi Matt, Glad to hear you're enjoying yourself. Sound like it's been a steep learning curve!!!! Think you're getting the hang of it now. Seeing Amy tomorrow, so no doubt we will be having a laugh at your stories. Look forward to hearing more.