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Published: December 14th 2007
So , it's raining and I decided to reflect on two incidences that took more time to relay. Please, if you don't want to here about toilets, don't read the second part!
We had to spend a single night in Bangkok ( weeks ago) for Alex’s follow up appt and followed the Lonely Planet’s advice, which has been good so far. We arrived at our destination , Ayutthaya Hotel, which was really quite sleek looking, with teak furniture out front and flowers and green plants spilling over into the walk ways. Upon entering the lobby, Alex noticed what appeared to be the reception desk, manned by one rather surly looking Thai woman. Now, she was adding up some numbers on a sheet of paper, but was otherwise unoccupied. We approached the counter with our backpacks strapped on, making noise, expecting her to look up, or even give us the “ just one moment” gesture. But nothing happened. We stood there for maybe a minute, perhaps more. Silence. She continued adding up these numbers on her little sheet of paper. I coughed slightly. No response. We were standing maybe a foot away from her. We inched closer. She pretended not to see us. So Alex offered up a friendly Thai greeting and asked if any rooms are available. Hearing that, she took a long deep breath, raised her eyes to his, and while keeping her eyes locked on his face, grabbed a plastic “room rate” slip and tossed it to us. Ok, so she threw it at us,. By this point, we were nearly laughing out loud, because she was so incredibly rude, comically insulting. I couldn’t even be mad, it was so funny!
Alex pointed to the room pictured on the slip and asked if we needed to fill out any registration forms. She, still without saying a word to us, grabbed a key, marched over to a staircase and yelled up something that sounded like “grumble grumble grumble WAHHHH!”. Alex and I were just giggling at each other, wondering if we’re supposed to follow her, if she was yelling at us, or if we had inadvertently offended her. She finally indicated we were to follow her, took us up to our room, handed over the key and left, without a single word directed to us. We collapsed on the bed laughing.
Incidentally, the restaurant attached to the hotel had the best damn spring rolls I’ve ever tasted. I don’t know what made them so special, but they were magic. I’d even say it was worth the terrible service.
OK this is your last warning: What follows is about my experience in a particularly gruesome toilet.
For the uninformed, Thai toilets are not like regular toilets. I think I’ve seen perhaps 3 regular flushing western style toilets in the past 5 weeks. Thai toilets are either squatters, with a porcelain bowl flush with the ground that you stand over, or a manually flushing but regular looking western toilet. What do I mean by manual flushing? I mean that in most cases, you are provided with a giant bucket of water and scoop. After you’ve done your business, you scoop water into the toilet to flush everything down. And forget about toilet paper. Pack your own, because you sure as hell aren’t going to get any from the hotel. And even if there is toilet paper, it won’t flush, so you have to dispose of it in a trash can, which is not usually provided or located in the front of the restaurant or hotel. So it makes for some tricky planning.
There is also the Thai custom of removing your shoes before you enter a building. So, there you are, faced with entering a block of squat toilets, water sloshed everywhere and you can’t wear your shoes. Sometimes, it’s just not worth it.
Back in Chiang Mai, we went to a highly recommended restaurant that specialized in Northern Thai food, which is more like Chinese or Laotian than Thai. I asked for the restroom and was directed to a building that wasn’t attached to the restaurant, but looked like it might be ok. I enter and discovered an anomaly: a flushing squat toilet. I’m always down to try something new, so I thought what the hell?
As you know if you’re female and you’ve ever gone camping, not peeing on your feet can take some maneuvering, especially if your holding your skirt up. Not only was I holding my skirt but my heavy bag, because of the afore-mentioned water on the floor. I reached around to flush this miraculous squatter. No sooner did I hear the stopper open the tank, the “bowl” portion of the toilet starting shooting water up at me! So I’m scrambling to pull my skirt down, stand up and haul myself out of the bathroom when the tank of the toilet started splashing water down, up and out and all over the place. Water started streaming out from the under the door. I just barely had time to duck out before getting myself thoroughly disgustingly soaked. As it was, my feet were the only victims of the nasty exploding squat toilet. I wish I had taken a picture.
By the way, I hate to discourage any one from coming to Thailand because of the toilets. Alex and I are frequenting some pretty bare bones establishments and I’m sure (?) that if one were to take a step up budget-wise, the toilets would be much nicer. I’m pretty sure, reasonably certain. Most likely. Actually, I’m just guessing.
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Mary Kay
non-member comment
Toilets
I laffed out loud!! I remember the icky toilets in China/Tibet too!! MK