Putting the "treat" back in spa treatment

Asia » Thailand » North-West Thailand » Chiang Mai
October 30th 2008

Published: November 2nd 2008

The last time I was in Thailand, I tried tinting my eyelashes darker for the first time. I absolutely loved the results but the treatment itself was a bit unnerving. In short, while I was resting on the table with the possibly toxic dye on my eyes, the beautician climbed up on the table, sat on my hips, and proceeded to give me a rather aggressive frontal massage. I couldn't open my eyes to see what was going on, nor did I know enough Thai to ask. It was my first spa-type treatment, and I wasn't sure if that was a normal perk.

Despite all of that, I became hooked on the visibility of dark lashes, which is far superior to my borderline-albino natural color. Steve and I were wandering around the touristy area in the old city when I saw a salon that offered this service. I was slightly put off by the "beauty institute" name but decided that no teacher would let a student blind me...

I pointed to 'eyelash tint' on the services menu, and the receptionist's incredulous reaction should have registered as a cue to leave. But I love me some dark lashes! She conversed with a few of the other employees for a few minutes before they all came back to fetch me and take me to my own room upstairs. I began to recall my previous Thai experience and was concerned as I entered a room with three employees clustered around my bed who appeared incredibly eager to begin.

The experience began normally enough - the dye was applied and I waited the normal time for the color to set while trying to count the number of giggling women surrounding my incapacitated body. I think I heard four or five distinct voices, which seemed a bit overstaffed, even by Thai standards. Someone wiped the dye off amidst a huge eruption of giggles. I was about to open my eyes when I felt the dye being applied a second time...then a third...then a fourth... I was finally permitted to open my eyes and discover that, although my top lashes were thoroughly saturated, they hadn't even touched the bottoms. Back down on the table I went for yet another layer of dye (on the top, too).

Suddenly a woman leaned in close to my head, spewed off some rapid fire Thai that concluded with "Free!" as she jabbed me in the forehead.

"Free?" I responded, forgetting that the rising voice we use to connote a question in English signals excitement in Thai. I suddenly felt a cold moisture on my brows and realized that they were eagerly tinting those too. Lovely. Nearly an hour after the normally ten minute ordeal began, I was presented with a mirror to see the huge Groucho Marx brows smeared across my face. Evidently, they thought that pitch black would really be a flattering color on me. I remembered my friend Sue's caution that Thai's become very upset if you aren't pleased with their work, so I smiled and pointed to the horrific mess that was the top half of my face. This was clearly the correct reaction because the entire cluster of women all started laughing and pointing at their brows too. A few minutes of this awkward laughing and pointing game (I'm glad they found a good joke target!), and I made it downstairs to find poor Steve who'd been waiting patiently.

We went back to Sue's place and I consoled myself by watching Lindsey Bluth (Portia de Rossi) rock the blond hair/black brows look.

So, which is a better free service? A terrible dye job or an invasive massage? I think I will refrain from any treatments in Thailand again.