Bangkok, Chiang Mai and Ao Nang

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We’ve been back home for three months. When I started this Blog I committed myself to finishing every chapter. Inevitably on these trips the last two weeks are a mental frenzy of preparing ourselves for the slog back and the mountain of unread mail that will be waiting. This particular fortnight was made even busier by the arrival of Jan and Neil who would be spending the last two weeks with us. I started this entry a month ago and then abandoned it. I left the laptop on my desk as a nagging reminder of my duties to myself if not those steadfast readers. It took a fiscal quarter but I finally gave in. The following episode contains our activities from the time Karen and I left Laos and re-entered Thailand. After a lunch of chicken feet we took an overnight train from Nong Khai to Bangkok. And then……

It was a dark and bleary night for us as we usually hit the sack by 9 PM and Jan and Neil’s plane didn’t arrive in Bangkok until 11 PM. We had booked rooms at the Mango Lagoon Guesthouse (30 Soi Rambuttri Phra Athit Road, Tel: [phone], E-mail: [e-mail]). It’s near the Khosan Road area but is quite a bit quieter. The rooms were a pricey 750 Baht each but the hotel is a step above the normal backpacker lodgings with A/C, cable, hot water and restaurant on site. We booked a mini-van, which cost us 150 Baht each. The problem was that we had to make 3 pick-up stops before we finally got started to the airport. Had we taken a private cab we would have paid 380 Baht total without the hassles.

Jan and Neil are friends of Karen’s from her Garrett County days. They lived in a secluded log cabin together without heat or hot water. They played dress-up to amuse themselves. We had just seen them in August when Karen catered their daughter Rachel’s wedding.

Jan and Neil had made the mistake of telling us their middle names so we decided to construct a loud welcome sign reading: Jannie Lou and Rodney Leverenz. There are a lot of international flights arriving in Bangkok around mid-night. We finally located them about 11:45 PM with airport coffees clamped in their fists. Neil’s luggage consisted of an old camel skin valise that was being held together with the assistance of duct tape and atmospheric pressure. We booked an airport cab at the taxi desk just outside of the arrival terminal level. This agency has a monopoly on outgoing cabs and they charge an extra 50 Baht for the privilege on top of the meter fare. When you get off of the plane you will be besieged by a dozen touts selling fix priced rides into town. Ignore these folks, as their prices are always higher than a metered ride. When you do get in a metered taxi they will try to negotiate an off-meter fare making it sound as if you’re getting a better deal. You aren’t. Always demand that the driver turn on the meter. If you’re in a hurry tell the driver to use the Highway (toll road). This will cost an additional 70 Baht but it will cut your travel time in half. If you like sitting in traffic then tell the driver to use the ‘public’ road.

Jan and Neil looked good considering the length of their journey. After getting settled in their room they were ready to rock and roll. We took them to see the freak show on Khosan Road. This is THE place to be for low-end travelers. The street is jammed with food carts, restaurants, vendors, hair braiders, karaoke bars and people from all over the world staring at other people from all over the world. There are dozens of Thai men in drag that parade the avenue. It takes a sharp eye to separate the real girls from the fake ones. Neil occupied himself for a few minutes playing the guessing game. We caught some drinks at a local café and watched the passing parade. After that pub closed at 2 AM due to licensing laws we moved on to a place nearer our lodgings to continue the conversation. By 3:30 we were all ready for some sleep.

The next morning after breakfast we took the ferry to Wat Po. A word on the ferries. The easiest way to get around Bangkok is by boat and it’s cheap. 13 Baht a ride. Finding the ferry stop is more of a chore. They are generally hidden at the ends of streets and narrow lanes. Khosan’s stop is #13. From there you can take the orange flagged boat or the white flagged. Go with the orange as it only stops at the major tourist destinations. The white ferry stops at every port so your ride can take a long time. At the pier you can pick up a free map of the routes. There will be a person at a small desk ostensibly selling tickets. They can sell you a ticket but the reality is that they are touts who will attempt to get you to book a private long tail at a ridiculous price. We saw two French couples ripped off by a ticket seller and his security guard buddy. They charged the group 1,200 Baht for a ride that should have cost them 52 Baht. It happened at ferry stop #1 Oriental. I got a picture of the security guard who wore a logo reading ‘IGG’ Security. The thief at the desk knew what I was up to and wouldn’t show his face. Stop #1 is located in the high-priced hotel area so the pickings are particularly rich here. A fool and his money… If you are waiting for a boat and some guy asks you where you’re headed, ignore him. You do not have to have a ticket to board the boat as you can buy the ticket once onboard. Another word of advice; be ready to get on and off the boat fast. These boys don’t dally. Average time they spend at the pier is about 10 seconds. No lie.

Wat Po is a short walk from stop #8. We joined Jan in one of her caffeine fixes before entering the Wat. Lots of Asians around but few Farang. Wat Po is famous for its reclining Buddha. Entry for Farang is 50 Baht but if you walk around the back of the building you can enter through the exit for free. This was the first time in 5 years that we had seen any admission charge for the Wat. If you do pay for a ticket the next thing you’ll face is a Thai asking you if you want a personal guide. I don’t know why you would but they’re there if you want one. Guide fees are negotiable. After our visit we ferried back home and had a group foot massage. Quoted price was 250 Baht and we negotiated that to 200 Baht. Massage fees are always negotiable. Since our train didn’t depart until late that evening we kept one of the rooms to nap in. In Thailand hotels the usual checkout time is noon. If you don’t have a room you’ll have to kill time out on the street or in a café.

A word on Thai trains. Sleeper berths are hard to get on short notice. Always book sleepers at least a week in advance. Tickets can be purchased at any train station for any destination or departure point. If you book the tickets with a local travel agency you will pay a 20 percent premium. The Thai train system does not offer on-line ticket service. If you want to see the current schedules go to: seat66.com This web-site covers train schedules all over the world and also provides links to ticketing agencies. They do not guarantee the agencies mentioned so check the current Blogs to make sure you’re not sending your money down a Black Hole. 2nd class sleepers to Chiang Mai from Bangkok cost about 550 Baht. If you book 1st class A/C you’ll be sitting in a recliner in temperatures equivalent to a walk-in refrigerator’s. Don’t do it. 2nd class fan is more than adequate.

At the train station we caught dinner at KFC. There is a very good food court at the train station but it closes after 6 PM. There are little eateries in the station but putting a semi-healthy meal together could be money and time consuming. We boarded the train where our bunks had already been made up. While Karen, Jan and Neil headed to the dining car for some beers I acted as the designated luggage watcher until they returned, a task that I failed miserably at as the clickety clack of the wheels over the rails soon rendered me unconscious. Our train didn’t arrive in Chiang Mai until 12:30 PM. We killed time talking in the dining car and playing with a Jack Russell pup one of the Thais had brought on board. Lots of people with dogs on Thai trains lately. Jan was suffering from one hell of a head cold. Wads of damp Kleenex littered the table around her coffee cup. We opened up the mobile pharmacy and started going after her symptoms with limited success.

In Chiang Mai we taxied from the train station to the Oriental Garden Guesthouse. Tel: [phone]. They have 6 clean rooms there that can be had for 350 Baht a night ($10 US). Rooms come with cable, fridge, and hot water. Rooms #4 and #6 are best. Owned by an old Dutchman and his guy they are a quiet respite from the noisy lanes of the night market which is just a few minutes walk away. There is also a restaurant on the premises with good food at reasonable prices. On a previous trip with Stacey this was our restaurant of choice nearly every day. Karen showed Jan the ropes at the Night Market that evening. This market is the number one draw for tourists in Chiang Mai. Hundreds of stalls along the main street selling everything from bookmarkers to woodcarvings. Look all you like but avoid buying anything here as these prices are the highest in Chiang Mai. Anything you see here can be purchased in the Chinatown market for 30 cents on the dollar or less. There are two good food courts in the night market area. The smaller one is under roof and offers entertainment. The other is in a large square of vendors and offers more than two dozen eateries including some excellent seafood and Indian places. Both are located between the night market and the river. Just follow your nose.

On the West Side of the same street as the night market and at the south end is a large building that sells computer-related goods. There’s a Japanese sushi place on the street level. It has the largest selection of pirated software I have ever seen. On the top floor is a Thai food court popular with the employees of the building. Buy a 100 Baht worth of food coupons from the stand there. The food is served cafeteria style. Just point at what you like and they will serve it to you. This food is prepared for the Thai palate. It is spicy. Real spicy. If you can’t handle the heat order Khao Soi (pronounced: Cow Soy) a Chiang Mai specialty noodle dish. They speak very little English so when it’s time to pay Karen and I just give them the coupon book and they take what we owe them. Any unused coupons can be turned in for a refund as long as you do it the same day. Two people can eat here for fewer than 100 Baht. Best for lunch as they are closed for dinner. There’s also a Starbucks on the same street across from a McDonalds. They are not cheap. Prices are the same as in the States. Siam Coffee (Starbuck clone) is across the street from the Meridien Hotel. Good drinks at fair prices.

The next morning Karen and I took Jan and Neil to our favorite morning spot, the old market buildings in Chinatown. To get there head north on night market street. The night market stalls will all be gone so it’s an easy stroll up the avenue. Sidewalk soup restaurants offer quick breakfasts to Thais in a hurry. At the intersection you’ll have to push the big silver button on the traffic light pole to get a green light to cross. (Note the Wat to your right.) There is a woman in this Wat that gives the best massages in Chiang Mai for 120 Baht an hour. If she’s busy come back later. She’s well worth the wait. During our visit we could walk in any time we liked and be taken care of. Tourism in Chiang Mai was in free fall while we were there. After you get the light to cross the street move fast and watch your ass. You have 10 seconds to do it. A sound like that of a ticking time bomb reminds you to hurry. Follow the road straight ahead. It will wind to the left. There is a Thai department store on the right as the road starts to curve. This is the place to buy everyday items and souvenir T-shirts. Ahead you will see two buildings joined by a sky bridge. Turn into the building on the right. Use the entry directly under the bridge. On the ground floor two women deep-fry fresh dough in a huge wok. The biscuits are 2 Baht each. The ones with sesame seeds are the best. After you get your hot breakfast. Head back across the street to the other building and climb the stairs to the top floor. You’ll see a group of tables with plastic tablecloths. Go to the stand on the far left and order coffee. You’ll get a shot of espresso mixed with sweetened condensed milk and a tea chaser. This will set you back 12 Baht. As you eat you can watch the vendors in the building set up their stands for the day.

After eating wander the streets around the buildings. These are the wholesalers who provide the night market vendors with their wares. Don’t worry. They will sell individual items if you see something. You may have to wade around a few bales from time to time but it’s worth the hassle. Bargain hard and always, always smile. If the seller is an older woman call her Mama. This is a sign of respect in Thailand and much appreciated by these matriarchs. Use of that name will usually shave 20 percent off the price immediately. After you make your purchase always say thank-you and give a Wei. (The Wei is the Thai motion of respect. Hold your hands together like you’re praying with the fingertips touching your chin and bow slightly from the waist) Farang who Wei are held in high regard by Thais. Chiang Mai is the best shopping town in SE Asia. Wei away and profit well. Neil had a hankering for dried fish. We followed our noses to the smelliest section of the market where Neil scored something flat, yellow and stiff. The fish had the last laugh when one of its bones pierced Neil’s lip drawing first blood.

The next day we took a ride up to Doi Suthep, the most famed of Chiang Mai’s Wats. We booked a taxi for the round trip at 600 Baht. For 4 people this is a good price. If you’re traveling solo you can take public transport up and the round trip will run you about 200 Baht. The Wat is located on a mountaintop overlooking the city. It’s a beautiful ride up through a cool rainforest and past waterfalls. After you leave your vehicle in the huge parking lot you will be asked to buy everything from elephant carvings to black velvet paintings. The charge to get into the Wat itself is 30 Baht. You can walk the outside grounds for free. To get to the Wat you must climb a flight of 300 steps bracketed by a pair of Nagas (dragon headed serpents). At the base of the steps is a man with an elephant that you may pose with for pictures. Neil stood with his head between the elephant’s tusks, which seemed to leave the Mahout (elephant keeper) a bit alarmed. Feeding the elephant fresh turnips costs 20 Baht. In the Wat you can receive a blessing from one of the monks. To do so you are required to kneel as no mere mortal’s head may be higher than a monk's in a temple. If you’re male the monk will tie a piece of string around your wrist. Since monks are never allowed to touch women females must get their bits of twine from the monk’s male assistant. I tend to leave the string on until it falls off since I’m not really certain what you are supposed to do with it. Last year it took 8 months to release itself. Jan cut her's off. I’m waiting to see what happens.

Doi Suthep really is a must do stop for visitors to Chiang Mai. The views and the architecture are a joy to behold. The royal family’s summer residence is a mile further up the road. I went there last year and was disappointed to learn that while you could explore the royal gardens you were unable to see the palace interiors. Chiang Mai is a walker’s delight. One morning Neil and I headed out early and caught the monks on their morning rounds as they begged food from the kneeling populous and bestowed blessings on the same. We spent an hour watching the jeweled facades of the Wats reflect a kaleidoscope of colors in the rising sun. Wats are open to all visitors. They only ask that you dress appropriately (shorts are frowned upon as well as bare shoulders) and speak in a low voice. There are more Wats per capita in Chiang Mai than in any other city in Thailand. A number of the Wats hold ‘Monk Chat’ sessions in the evenings where you are free to converse with the monks and ask any questions you like. For them it is an opportunity to practice their English and educate the public on their faith. Last year during a visit to Cambodia’s Angkor Wat I lost Karen. When I finally found her she was sitting on a stone bench in deep conversation with an English-speaking monk. Nice guy. Monks in Cambodia seemed pretty loose by Thai standards in that they would speak directly to women.

Jan’s head cold had progressed to the point where she was puking up mucous and spending a lot of time in bed. I was starting to believe that her problem might be bacterial after all so we fed her some anti-biotics. Neil, Karen and I spent our last morning in Chiang Mai doing last minute bargain hunting in Chinatown. Neil released 5 sparrows from a basket. A Thai tradition to ensure good fortune and health. It never hurts to cover your bets. We bought snacks for the train ride and collected Jan for the overnighter. For Karen and I this was our 4th night train journey on the trip. It’s Chinese New Year and I could not find a taxi to save my life. In the end we took two Tuks to the train station and settled into our appointed car making sure that Jan was well supplied with tissues. Our train arrives in Bangkok at 6:30 AM. In all we will be spending 15 hours on the train. We get the steward to make our bunks up early so Jannie Lou can get comfortable.

Our train arrives in Bangkok at 6 AM. Jan is feeling better which is a relief. We grabbed a cab to the airport for a long wait before our 3 PM flight to Krabi. Neil and I check two bags into the baggage storage facility located just behind aisle ‘N’ in the departure area so we don’t have to lug them around in Ao Nang. The fee to store bags at the airport is a hefty 100 Baht per day. The same service is also offered at train stations for a more reasonable 30 Baht per day. Once you pass through gate security into the waiting area there are few places to eat and relax. We decided to stay in the main terminal for the time being. On the second level of the Bangkok airport there is a little café tucked under the escalators that is quite popular with the airport employees. The stands there serve Kebobs, fresh fruit, mango with sticky rice, soups and even popcorn. We staked a claim to one of the few tables there to kill a few hours and sample the food. While we’re eating the Thai airport public relations team is running a Chinese New Year’s show on the third floor with a Chinese dragon and a team of loud drum-beaters running around harassing departing tourists and frightening small children.

Our flight to Krabi was pleasant and only 90 minutes long. We flew on Air Asia again. This is the 12th flight that Karen and I have taken on this trip. Krabi is the largest town in this part of Thailand. Primarily a fishing town there is little to do here except to catch a plane or a ferry to the outlying islands. We book a large van for the 30-klick ride to Ao Nang. This is the 4th time that Karen and I have visited Ao Nang but we have not been here since our trip with Stace and Noah 3 years ago. Imagine our surprise when we arrived and found the place full of tourists. Mainly older folks from Sweden, Germany, Austria and Switzerland. On our last visit we stayed at the ‘Golden Beach Resort’. A very nice hotel with a beautiful pool area dominated by a large karsk. This time around they had no rooms available and if there had been it would have cost us a hefty 4,200 Baht per night (about $120 US). The last time here the same room went for 1,000 Baht. Every hotel on the beach was booked solid. We finally ended up at the Panan Krabi Guesthouse ([e-mail]) for 1,100 Baht a night. Our air-conditioned top floor rooms were a bit of a climb but the view was wonderful and the bathrooms clean. Ao Nang was the first place in Thailand this year where we had seen fully booked hotels. After check-in Jan went to bed immediately. Neil went to splash around in the water.

Karen and I took a walk to look around. The town had expanded since our last stay. The food carts have been relegated to the outskirts of the shopping areas on the West Side of town. As a result the restaurants along the strip had greatly increased their prices selling pizzas at an average cost of 150 Baht. Order it with meat and you’re now in the neighborhood of 200+. At some places a scoop of ice cream sells for 120 Baht. Menus are oriented towards Farang palates. Heavy on pasta and burgers. The food carts are still the best deal in town even if you have to walk a bit. Meals like chicken with cashew nuts and green curry cost 35 Baht. Fruit shakes are 20 Baht. Karen and I enjoy sitting behind the carts and watching the cooks at work. Shopping in Ao Nang is nothing special. Lots of stands selling Sarongs, beach mats, wood carvings and such. They sell a lot of carved soap flowers in Ao Nang. Halogen lit tables covered in dozens of brightly colored 5 inch wide soap flowers in round wooden boxes attract steady crowds of buyers. Go figure.

That night we went for a walk along the beach. The Golden Beach Resort was lit up like a Christmas tree. On an outdoor stage a Thai woman dressed in cowgirl boots and a red Dale Evans hat sang heavily accented Patsy Cline songs while playing guitar. Jan, Karen and I reclined on the soft sands looking at the stars while Neil splashed around in the water. The Milky Way was clearly visible in the night sky.

The next day we bought tickets to Railay Beach. In the old days you could just walk up to a long-tail and flip a fifty Baht note for a ride over. Today the boats are part of a cooperative. There are two ticket booths at either end of the beach. Prices to various locations are posted on large signs. The ride to Railay is now 80 Baht each way. The boats will not depart until they have a minimum load of six passengers. It’s a beautiful ride over azure waters. The limestone karsks stand like stony sentinels begrudging the boats passage through their ranks. We stood in the bow of our craft and took it all in. Ao Nang is a stunner. When we arrived at Railay we walked over to Princess Cave. On our last trip here with Stace we encountered few people save a few food vendors selling Pad Thai and roasted corn on a stick. On this occasion the beach was covered with pale, melanoma bound Europeans. Long-tails were stacked side by side along the shore creating parking problems for new arrivals. Dozens of vendors roamed the beach selling pricey food, drinks and even massages. At the cave, people lined up to pose for pictures with the phallus offerings in the shrine. The shrine is dedicated to a Goddess. The phalluses offered up by fisherman to ensure safe return from their long trips. The seas in this area can turn deadly in an instant. On our earlier visit with Stace a squall in mid-journey home hit us. Had it not been for our skilled boatman we could have been in serious trouble. No clouds today as we hiked down the strand and found a vacant patch of sand large enough for 4 people. With temps in the 90’s and a clear sky, sun block was most definitely on the menu. While Jan, Karen and I caught some rays Neil splashed around in the water in the shadows of the karsks. Elderly northern European women in bikinis sported round brown bellies that had all the earmarks of a third trimester pregnancy. A smorgasbord of Swedish meatballs.

A boy of no more than six years approached us lugging a heavy bucket full of cold beers for sale. When we declined his offer his mother urged him to keep pitching the brews until he made a sale, and she wasn’t kidding. The kid started crying as his Mom turned her back on him and walked away leaving him alone in the crowd of Farang. This little scene was all Karen and I needed to prod us back to Ao Nang. This was our 4th trip to the Krabi area and the busiest we had ever seen it. It might have been due to Chinese New Year. Five days later the crowds were more manageable and hotel rates seemed to be declining. Our 1,100 Baht room was going for 900 by the time we left. Money is the name of the game now. The area in the center of town that provided housing for the hotel and tourism employees has been torn down and replaced with a high-end resort. Most workers now live in Krabi and ride in every morning in the back of large trucks. A hotel has replaced the local produce market. We never did find out where the market had been moved. The most popular backpacker restaurants in town are the Seven Eleven's. Hot dogs, chips and Slurpees fairly fly out the front door. Back home the economic news grows more dire. Apparently the $350 Billion bank bailout was less successful than our Congressional wizards had hoped. Now the plan is to throw more good money after bad. (By the time I finished this entry the money spent or promised amounted to Trillions with no end in sight and no improvement either)

We go to the Ao Nang Seafood restaurant at the end of the beach. A distracted lady-boy waiter takes our order never making eye contact with us. Neil decides to do battle with another fish but this time he fortifies himself with a glass of wine. The food I receive is pedestrian at best though Neil thinks his steamed whole fish is pretty good. Jan asks for oil and vinegar to dress her chef’s salad. The best the waiter can do is a small dish of vegetable oil. The restaurant has a great location for sunsets in which case have a drink and leave after the show. Eating there is a fool’s errand. On collecting the bill the waiter asks us how the food was, we say terrible and he say’s ‘Thank you very much’, and pirouettes away with the money.

The next morning Jan and Neil head out on the first time Thailand visitors’ obligatory elephant ride tour while Karen and I declare a veg-out day. With over a hundred and twenty days on the road we are beginning to think of our homecoming and the tasks that lay ahead. Even the slightest chore on the horizon appears ponderous. All play and no work… Later that evening Karen and I dined at the food carts. I caught a massage while Karen had a drink with Jan and Neil. The massage business in Ao Nang has become a major operation. Large cabanas built specifically for that purpose have been centered at the East End of the beach. When they’re not massaging the uniformed masseuses are busy passing out flyers advertising their services.

That night, unable to sleep, I wander out to the balcony and watch 2 drunken Swedish girls walking around the flimsy tin roof below me trying to retrieve a baseball cap. It’s 3 AM and the street is completely dark save for an ATM machine blinking a come-on across the avenue. Reminded me of the haunted slot machine in a ‘Twilight Zone’ episode.

The next day we all headed out on an island tour that Jan and Neil had secured tickets for. Posted price was 1,000 Baht per person but Jan had negotiated them down to 900 Baht. The tour included stops at Bamboo Island, Phi Phi, Maya Beach and a couple of snorkeling stops. We climbed aboard a large outboard equipped with three Honda 250’s. Our tour guide, Ping-Pong, advised us that the boat usually held 40 people but there were only 30 passengers this day. The way the economy was going I calculated that he’d be lucky to have a boat by this time next year. A purple-veiled Muslim granny encrusted in diamonds sat across from me. The group was primarily Asian. On the way to Bamboo Island we had to stop and save the passengers of another boat that had suffered mechanical failure. Bamboo Island is a beach stop with a nice section of sand and a small dead reef. There are bathrooms, a food stand, soft sand and little else. We left the rescued tourists here for pickup by another boat.

We paid a visit to a Hong (an enclosed shallow pool between karsks) that Karen, Noah, Stace and I had swum in on our prior visit. There would be no swimming today as a flotilla of boats had turned the Hong into a mini-marina. We stopped at Maya Beach, which is the place made famous in the DeCaprio film ‘The Beach’. The small area was jammed with tanned Western tourists and SE Asians. A bronzed Danish woman wearing a white floss thong stood next to a veiled Muslim Mom enjoying the view. East meets West. We lunched at Koh Phi Phi in a large open air Muslim run restaurant. The luncheon buffet consisted of the same sort of food that you’d expect to find in your local strip mall ‘all you can eat’ Chinese restaurant. After lunch we snorkeled in a spectacular live reef just off Phi Phi. Thousands of fish and large coral heads filled the crystal-clear waters. Karen and I had visited the same reef 3 years earlier and we were surprised at how the reef had grown in size in just a few years.

While Karen, Neil and Jan spent the day at the local beach I slogged through the Vang Vieng blog and posted it at a local Internet place run by a Thai woman. While I uploaded, her chubby 6 year-old son lay on his back by my feet with a baby bottle of milk clamped between his jaws. Internet in Ao Nang runs one Baht per minute with a 10 Baht minimum charge. I joined the kids later at a small bar at the East End of the beach. We amused ourselves watching a very florid elderly man staking claim to an entire table by decorating its surface with a collection of newspapers and towels. When he was certain that nobody could even think of sitting there he retired to the beach. We ate dinner that night at the Bamboo Restaurant and the food was quite good though we had a bit of trouble getting the waiter to bring the final bill as the place was getting pretty busy by the time we departed.

The next day found us back in Bangkok at the Mango Lagoon. It was business as usual on Khosan Road. Backpackers sat in lawn chairs along the road being tended to by squads of hair braiding women. Food vendors dealt out portions of Pad Thai and Mango with sticky rice. People filled tables outside of brightly-lit bars and watched the passing parade.

The next day we took the ferry to a very crowded Chinatown where we snacked on odd looking food cart offerings and ate a bowl of fish soup with noodles. Jan spied a table loaded with reading glasses and spent a few minutes trying some on. The streets and side lanes were jammed with vendors selling everything from toys to furniture. There was barely enough room to squeeze through the tables that groaned under the weight of the wares. We got back on the ferry and headed to the famed ‘Oriental Hotel’ where the gate guard looked us over from head to toe before allowing us access to the hotel bar/ restaurant. The hotel lobby was filled with small groups of very serious looking business people involved in quiet conversation. The headwaiter took a look at our casual clothing and shunted us to a side table on the terrace. A perfectly groomed waitress presented the drink menus to us while kneeling. The cocktails had names like the ‘Bongo’ and the ‘Ginger Cosmopolitan’. Definitely an upper end operation. Drinks averaged 270 Baht apiece with an additional ten percent service charge. Over a low row of shrubs we saw hotel guests lounging around a small private pool. We’ve heard that Tom Cruise stays here when he’s in town. We didn’t see Tom or anyone else memorable on this occasion. Just a few assorted groups of Asians and elderly Westerners in casual clothes. We fit in perfectly.

Back in the inexpensive part of Bangkok I stopped for a Thai haircut while the others grabbed a beer. Karen and I ate on the street and did some final shopping while Jan and Neil went out for their own meal.

The next morning Jan and Neil headed out to see the Royal Palace. Karen and I ate breakfast at the Merry Guesthouse. Imagine our surprise when we discovered the Super Bowl in real-time on the restaurant’s TV. We munched on fruit and granola while we watched Bruce Springsteen in the half-time show. Bruce is getting a little long in the tooth but he presents no danger of wardrobe malfunctions so he’s the safe choice for the NFL today. To make a long story short we got sucked into watching what turned out to be a very good game between Phoenix and Pittsburg. After the third quarter Karen and I discovered a dozen North Americans clustered around our table watching the game. Fellow couch potatoes all. We sat with Tim from North Carolina and his Winnipeggian girlfriend with whom we hurled insults at the refs for bad calls and cheered for both teams as we had no dog of our own in this fracas. We were so emotionally drained by the end of the game that a power nap was called for. We rejoined Jan and Neil for a massage late in the afternoon going back to the same place where we had gotten our foot rubs. This day the manager suddenly demanded that we pay for our massages before services were rendered. This is not customary in Thailand and when I asked why this was being done the young man smiled and told us that he didn’t want to take a chance on our running out on the bill. I told him that we were too old to run but he refused to take no for an answer so we took our business around the corner, which turned out quite satisfactorily. Unfortunately they were short one masseuse so Karen sat this one out for a spell while the rest of us were subjected to a rather athletic rub. Neil moaned as if he was having sex and for all I know… It was a dark room. At the end of our hour we were all pretty well stretched out and Karen had received an abbreviated version of the same as her masseuse showed up 30 minutes late..

Jan and Neil took Karen and I out for a bon voyage meal at the Wild Orchid restaurant. German run place with food that was quite good and very reasonable. Buddha statues, potted plants, soft-spoken waiters, mood lighting. The only fly in the ointment was a solo dining French-Canadian woman with a booming macho voice who struck up a conversation with anybody who wandered by her table. (I just wanna be loved. Is that so bad? Is that so AWFUL!!?? Jan told us that the Royal Palace is now charging 350 Baht admission, which is kind of amazing, given the stunning boredom one has to endure in touring the palace itself. Sparsely furnished rooms with glass cabinets full of dusty muskets and sabers. They had met a monk who took them back to his place (?) and gave them a share of his morning begging bowl which included an odd looking green square of gelatinous material that Jan pressed upon Karen.

Neil could not stop talking about a silver enameled conch shell he had found for sale near the Royal Wat that he fell in love with but could not bring himself to buy. Instead he invested his funds in his camel skin suitcase. That morning he had commissioned a Thai leather worker to repair the light brown-colored luggage thinking that the guy would attempt to match the color with the replacement leather he was applying. That evening he had what looked like a case constructed of desk blotters as the corners had been reinforced with large solid black triangles of hide. Ah…., Thailand. We said our good byes as Jan and Neil were heading out at 5 AM. It was a quick two weeks for them as all two-week vacations are. Later that night from my balcony I spied the two of them slipping out into the crowded street for a last look around. Karen set the green Jello cube down in front of the door to their room. We crammed our treasures in our bags looking forward to the long trek home in the morning.

The next day a beat-up hotel car took us to the airport. At passport control we were charged 1,000 Baht each for over staying our 15-day visas by two days. Victims of the new Thai visa rules but there was nothing to be done. I asked the woman taking our money if the Thai government would reimburse us for the expenses we incurred as a result of the airport closure. She wouldn’t utter a word let alone look at us. This was our 5th trip to Thailand. It’s a beautiful country with great food and wonderful people but there’s something tragic happening with the government. A lack of respect for tourists has crept into their thinking and as a result Karen and I have decided that this will be our last visit there until things get sorted out. We’re not holding our breath. Today (April 21st) Thailand is under a self-declared state of emergency and the Red Shirts are calling for new demonstrations next week.

Our first flight took us into the amazing Singapore airport. A wonderful facility offering a relaxing atmosphere, free entertainment, free Internet and good, reasonable food. More five star hotel than airport. Our two-hour layover there went by much too quickly as I munched a Whopper and watched a fashion-reality show on the world’s largest HDTV LCD. From there we headed to Hong Kong for a three-hour stop. We were forced to leave the plane and re-board. The atmosphere was somewhat tense as we were security checked three times before we were allowed to take our seats. Our Singapore Airlines flight to San Francisco took 12 hours. Fortunately the plane was only half full so we had lots of room to relax. When we arrived in Singapore we learned that Singapore Air had erroneously cancelled our San Fran tickets. To make up for their mistake they gave us bulkhead seats that offered more legroom than First Class would have but less service. On arrival we spent four hours in the drab San Francisco Airport gate area before our Delta flight to Atlanta. Unlike Singapore’s facility San Francisco’s has little to offer late night travelers besides stale coffee. Our Atlanta leg was packed but it felt good to be back in the States and getting closer to home with every minute. Hartsfield was jumping with travelers. We chowed on Dunkin’ Donuts coffee and muffins. I grabbed a shave and brushed my teeth. By this time we had been on the road for 30 hours. The flight from Atlanta to Sarasota is short and sweet and one that we know well. We smiled as the Sunshine Skyway Bridge passed under our left wing. In Sarasota Noah was waiting for us with a hug and a ride home. When we walked in the door our two cats looked at us as if we had never been gone. It’s good to be back with the family.

Well that’s it. Four months, seven countries and quite a few planes, trains and buses. After every trip Karen and I dwell on where we’ve been, what we’ve seen and the folks we’ve met. In the back of our minds we are constructing our final round-the-world tour. A collection of all of the places that we’ve fallen in love with over the years and want to experience again. We’ve added a few on this journey. Number one would be Gili Air for its beautiful people, reefs and skies. The Gillians are the most hospitable natives that we have ever encountered. The first time we met Afid he smiled at us and said, “Welcome to Paradisio.” He spoke truth. We’ll never forget our evenings with him sitting on the beach and wordlessly watching the sun descend behind the distant pyramid that is Bali. We loved Saigon for its fabulous food and frenetic pace. China Beach but only if we could be guaranteed some sun. Vang Viengh for its simplicity and peacefulness and maybe Ubud, Bali. I’ve been thinking about that trip to the spa. It weren’t half-bad.

Moments that we’ll treasure include the midnight drums and chanting that filled the night air during the full moon ceremonies in the temples of Lovina. Breakfasts at Lamm’s in Saigon while we watched the city spring to hyperactive life. Frigid mornings in Vang Vieng spent over a bowl of noodle soup gazing through the fragrant steam while the river’s karsks were bathed in rosy early light. Dinners spent watching a movie with a puppy tucked inside our jackets to keep him and ourselves warm. The bunnies in Ubud that came for a visit and a snack every morning while we drank coffee on our terrace. Those comical ducks being paraded out to the Balinese rice paddies at the crack of dawn. Floating facemask down on the Sea of Indonesia and gazing at the alien creatures that populate those magnificent reefs. Sailing over the streets of Hue in our pedicab schooners. Partying like it was 1999 at the DMZ bar after Vietnam beat Thailand in a soccer game on Christmas Eve. Muslim weddings and dinners and smiles. Barbecues of fresh fish grilled over smoking coconut husks and eaten on the edge of a moonlit sea. Flame-driven paper balloons that filled the New Year’s night sky over Pai. All of the wonderful people we met that shared their life stories with us and their ambitions and showed us how different we all are and how much we are the same. Crab-fighting Park Rangers from Australia and roofers from New Zealand, doctors from Canada, students from Jamaica, lawyers from Slovakia, kids from Vancouver and folks like us with no particular direction in mind except to gaze and wonder at how life has adapted itself to the many bumps, nooks and crannies that make up the planet on which we live. The end.

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Photos

Bangkok
Riverside at night.

Rip-Off Artists
Watch out for these guys at ferry stop number one, The Oriental.

The Train Ride Begins
Sure, it's fun at first but later there's the sniffling and sneezing and whimpering....

Jannie Lou in ICU
The night train to Chiang Mai

Chiang Mai Market
Great place to grab a coffee and kill an hour or so in the morning.

The Happy Group
The start of our boat tour to Phi Phi.

Maya Beach
Find Neil and Karen

Ao Nang Food Vendor
Great eats and wonderful prices.

Still Shopping
Karen starts thinking of cleaning the house on our return.

Reading Glasses
Karen lends Jan a hand in Bangkok's Chinatown.

Mike's Lunch In Nong Khai
Real chewy.

Comments

[jesse mcgoldrick]

great blog.
really enjoyed reading your blog. Thanks alot.