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Published: December 14th 2005
Day 1 (20/10/05)
I'm here, safe & good. I knew you would all be worrying!
So my story so far...
Got off the plane & headed to a taxi. Put my 36kg (overweight) suitcase in the trunk (ask KK!)...My first words to the f/ka was...
"Pai Ratchada mai khab, METRE ye..." (go to 'Ratchada rd? Using the taxi metre)
"ye ye"
got in & I was like metre metre!!!..."awwww nooo 300 bhat & I pay highway toll." For the sake of 50 bhat I wasn't going to tell him to pull over on the highway so yer I had to agree. I only had 200 bhat on me so I slipped him 5 quid. F/k knows what that converts too, its about 300 bhat right? If not, good, the cnut.
Got to my digs. Im sure the price was slightly higher than what I seen on the net but fok it I wasn't in no mood for arguing. I just wanted a shower & quick.
"Sir you must wait 30 min for us to clean room & make ready!"
"grumble..OK"
I decided to leave my bags there & go down to the Tesco lotus...I was brave so got a motor bike taxi...didn't end up where I wanted but WTF I was in no mood for complaining,the place was just like tescos & just as close. I baught an iron, coat hangers, & some toiletries. Got on another moto taxi & tried to tell him the name of the place & everything went tits up. I was only about a 5 min ride from the place but be fuked if we could find it. thawanee I tell u!!! pai(go)!!! hu hu...aarrghhh go this way, pointing, kwa, sai!(right,left)....couldn't find it, stopped & asked about 5 moto taxi dudes. I even spelt it out (wrong btw)... finally some Thai bloke with an IQ that far exceeded any of the previous blokes we talked too caught on & pronounced the name right (1 letter missing I think!). Finally we knew where to go, I could get back for a much needed shower.
All the paper work was done. I paid the lady & went to my room. errrm no towels? went back down to ask her about towels...we don't have sir...oh ffs
I went out to get another crazy moto taxi to Tesco Lotus this time. I made sure he went there lol...There I got a shite load of towels that didn't take half as much acting, pointing & clowning about to get what I wanted (Trying to explain & show those other fokers that I wanted an iron was a nightmare...Almost had a group of young kids around me laughing thinking I was doing some act!
Oh yer, before the towel pick up I thought I would try some local cuisine. 30 bhat(41p), large bottle of Pepsi...rice & some pork & pineapple
So just stopped off @ this net cafe...which conveniently delayed my much needed shower. Something will probably delay me on the way home aswel.
The morning ended well. I had my shower.
In the afternoon as I was going back to the apartment the landlady told me that there is a pwoblem! with my air con & she will get a technician up there to fix it. Ok, sounds fair. Actually there was no problem, the only problem was that there was no fekin remote to control the temp. This meant that I had to get out of bed or stop what ever I was doing to walk all the way to the air con unit & alter it manually. The Tech came & conveniently disturbed my shower time. I let him & he got straight to work. Took the thing apart & pissed about with it. He then stood up, scratched his head & walked out without saying a word!!!! WTF? I just lead on the bed & was drifting off to sleep when he came back & started faffing around with it again. Did he have any idea of what he was doing? fek knows. Apparently he fixed it, though I still had no remote. So whats changed? well instead of turning it on by the main switch now I have to turn it on then piss about with more switches & dials on the side, errm thanks! Here's a pic of the tech dude at work
Later I met a friend & we went to some restaurant. I ate pad thai (google: image search pad thai to see!) It was ok but I wasn't really that hungry so I didn't finish it. My pad thai meal cost 75bhat (1.03 GBP) After the pad thai my friend nearly killed some motorbike guy as we was travelling to this club!!! literally missed him by inches.
We went to this jazz club. It had a great ambiance about it, though really small. The owner of the bar actually played guitar in the band aswel. We got kinda drunk, in Thai fashion, on Thai whiskey! From the jazz club we went to the famous back packer road namely koh sarn road. It was ok, nothing really interesting to say about it. I'm not a fan of koh sarn road, to many foreigners for my liking! In the club we had a BUCKET of whiskey, coke & some other spirits...what a concoction it was. That night I learnt two new Thai words. Piss & shit! shee & kee. At least I'm trying!
Day 2 (21/10/05)
I awoke with dry saliva surrounding my lips! Luckily the day prior, I baught some carrot juice & water. If it wasn't for that, me crossing the street to replenish my bodily fluids would of been a scene from the shaun of the dead. I drank & again in Thai fashion, I slept more. After routinely doing the awaking & replenishing act several times I decided I should have a shower. Showered & shaved I went to Robinsons dpt store to get some much needed items. My phone was dead & I couldn't charge it cause of the differing plug issue. I got there, thankfully in one piece. I got a motorbike taxi & nearly had an heart attack. Those crazy feks weave in, out & inbetween cars like no tomorow. 80 km per h I clocked him at & I was on the back with no f0kin helmet!! "cha cha, cha cha" (slow slow) I really should stop getting on the back of them but due to my location it's convenient. I wrote a list of things that I wanted to get & what I wanted to do. I managed to locate & get about half of what was on my list.
- Kettle
- Toaster
- Plates, dishes, bowls & all other cutlery crap
- Bank account (need to wait to get my work permit first)
- Razor blades
- Plug adaptor thing
- Food shopping
There was more but I cant remember it all now
When I returned to my apt some of the younger lads was outside again playing some kind of volley-ball game again. It does indeed require a lot of skill. Same principles as volley-ball but using the feet & not hands. I will have to try it with them sometime! Here's a not so good snap of them in action from the previous day.
Back at the apartment I dropped off my bags, blasted my-self with some deoldorant, filled my bag with some laundry & headed off to get it done. About a five min walk up the road there is a few washing machines lined up outside. 30 Bhat (0.41 GBP) for an hour, wash, rinse cycle. I didn't have a clue how to use it so the kind security guard showed me. He's an oldish chap that seems a decent bloke. We
tried & I mean tried to have a chat. It ended with me getting so confused & just nodding! Oh well, its all fun & games. Whilst sitting there & having a smoke with him I got kind-of thirsty so asked this food stall if they had any water. They didnt have water to sell but offered me a metal beaker full of water from a flask thing. I had my doubts but I couldn't refuse it, they would of thought I was a right c/nt if I did. After a smile & thank you I cautiously drank the water hoping I wouldn't immediately be running to the toilet & emptying the entire contents of my body out of my ass. The water was fine, I'm still fine & I went back for a chat about f/k knows what with that kind security geezer! I couldn't sit there almost an hour so I made my escape hoping my clothes would still be in the washing machine when I got back.
I decided to walk to Tesco, I needed to get a sense of bearings. I was pissed off about getting lost twice the previous day. I got to Tesco's ok, though, hot & sweaty! I baught some bread, butter, strawberry jam, 6 pack of bog roll, 2 tins of tuna mayo, a cutlery set (that had no knives in it!) milk, sugar, coffee, coco pops, short cake biscuits, 3 pot noodle style noodles (bet they wont taste the same but wtf) washing up liquid, sponges and maybe more that I cant think of. My list came to about 600 bhat (8.28 GBP) bargain!
I took the trek back towards my apt whilst stopping off at the laundry place to get my clothes. They was indeed still there & fine. The security dude confirmed this even before I got close to the machine by pointing & giving the thumbs up!
Back at the apt I was eager to test out my new kettle & toaster. That I did. Strawberry jam on toast with a cup of coffee. Shame I don't have a fekin kitchen with a cooker. Maybe at my next location I can splash out a little extra on an apt to get what I want. Though, I cant see me cooking much on a cooker as its so so cheap to eat out here.
Well that's an update of my last two days here. I have spent close to 30,000 bhat (414.3 GBP) in the two days I have been here. My apt has been paid for 2 months though & I have spent a bit on electrical appliances. I will start setting myself budgets soon. Also I cannot check my bank account balance here, gay, to say the least. Tomorow is the first day of my TEFL (Teaching English as a Foreign Language) course. And after that course there is a teachers get together held at a British bar here in Bkk. That promises to be a fun night out with about 14 Teachers & expats confirmed for the turn-out.
I will keep this blog updated as much as possible. Subscribe to the blog below in-order to retrieve E-mails that will notify you each time I update the blog. Bye for now.
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kelly big cousin
non-member comment
o lovely stuff
very good just jealous you lucky bastard