The first taste is always spicy

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THE REPORT FROM SOUTH EAST ASIA.................

THIS JUST IN....ERIC MAURICE EDWARD CLARK IS OFFICIALLY TEACHING THE YOUTH OF THAILAND


I have finally found some decent internet so here goes as much as my brain can handle and my hands cant type!!!

The past week has been another whirlwind in my life which has now been firmly planted in this here fine country of Thailand.

It is kind of hard to start a large email like this off because some of you i have been in touch with more than others but i know on a whole i have been lacking in responses or short in my returns cause sometimes the internet moves at a snail pace, especially when you are on an exoctic beach in the middle of an ocean, trying to cure a hangover, while by being handfed fruit laying in a hammock....i know POOR ME...however the real FUN has just started because I have since arrived in my new home to do what I came here for, infect the nations youth with a thick New York accent and a tounge so filthy Satan himself wears earplugs.

Lets take it back to last week shall we....after spending a week in Bangkok for my orientation with my placement company I headed up to my new home of Angthong. (There is too many people on this email to get into detail about Bangkok but let me just answer all of your questions by saying YES, I DID.......buy cheap designer clothes and pirated DVDs...some of your minds makes me sick...what did you think i meant!!!)

So into Angthong we came, my self and two other of my teaching pals.....we were to spend an evening with our assistant director and our english deparment head before we headed off on a 3 day trip to where??? NONE OTHER THAN A FABULOUS ENGLISH CAMP!!!!!! Well the night was interesting to say the least, I ate a lot of things I thought I would never touch with a ten foot pole but as is Thai culture to not be rude by eating the meals that are put out....the whiskey flowed like it was going out of style, i mean i couldnt even get through one drink before it was being filled up again, and again, and again.....so we are now all about three sheets to the wind, i am pretending to understand everyone who is talking to me in Thai by doing what they do to me when i talk - laugh and smile then laugh even harder, then lean over to a friend and laugh together while pointing and knee slapping with the occasional hard cough you can only get from smoking 40 cigarettes a day and washing that all down with another slug of fine Thai Whiskey. I thinkg by this point the night has come to an end and we should be getting some sleep if we are to be up and ready for English camp with 300 'genius program' students. Then a look comes over my assistant director that doesnt seem to be to hilarious or funny....he tells us that we cant leave a la Sonny from Bronx Tale style....i am so drunk im thinking 'Shit, ive done something to offend my boss in a weird culture way by not eating my whole meal or finishing the 6th bottle of whiskey that is sitting on the table still half full' ...but no i would not be massacred on this night.....not physically.....my humility is another story.....my boss tells me we can not leave until we each peform and his words not mine "Wow me".....thats right he kept saying...."I want you to wow me" this was all followed by the laugh and laughs from all of the thais. Meanwhile a monitor and microphones are being set up on the stage that i somehow hadnt notice when we came in, oh yes and then came the lights...blue ones with little strobe flashers.....well i got up and there and tried desperately to sing something easy and simple, the words all looked blurred on the screen at this point and i was squinting like i had lost my glasses.....i chose a good ol bar classic 'Cocaine' by Eric Clapton.......well i now know how to silence a Thai crowd, they didnt find it amusing nor rocking...so now i thought i was really gonna die....but no, thank you to the DJ he winked and quickly hit me with a new tune...."Hey Jude"....and BOY DO THEY LOVE THAT FUCKING TUNE....i mean who doesnt.....but when that song hit it was like it was december 31st at 11:58 pm....these beautiful Thais start getting up chanting and banging the table....althought it is coming out more like "Hayyyyy Wuuudeee" but whatever i made it out of there alive and was applauded quite racuously.....

Off next was a 3 day adventure into English camp.....that was something else.....it was like trying to pretend to understand everything while really getting nothing....because it was ran by the school and not the company i work for (which is usually supposed to be the case)...it ended up being more of a Thai camp with some foreign English teachers to tag along for support and stares....it was my first expereince intereacting with so many Thai children....about 300 or so were there and they were quite enthusiastic every second of the day. Oh, and then there were the lady-boys, who apparently start out at a young age, they are quite flamboyant, consider themselves female and have a passion for dancing and screaming at the top of their longs while giggling and running around with their arms a flapping....not something easy to really grasp until the first time you witness it first hand....when in Rome as they say....we stayed just off the mountains in a beautiful area and were living in large two story cabins that were pretty sweet....the nights consisted of more of the natural Thai culture eating, laughing, and drinking more drinking and more drinking of whiskey...whiskey with soda, whiskey with coke, whiskey with a dash of honey and water etc. So I got to know some of the people I will be working with for the next few months quite well in a short period of time as is usually the case when you sit around getting drunk.

We returned home and I had a few days to kill so we met up with some more teaching peoples from the area and headed into Ayutyah which is the closes city to me, about 30 minutes away. I am glad it is because it is a dope and chill spot, plenty of chill bars and we stayed in a room that was fully furnished with varnished wood a wrap around balcony, AirCon, a western style bathroom, a living room, and leather couches...how much you ask....$30 american a night baby!!! split 4 ways...cost me oh $15 for the whole weekend, and when a place like this has the ammenities i just mentione you may laugh and think what place doesnt have AC or a reguar toilet...well come to Thailand and you will know all to well that it is truly living like a king this way and the price when converted back to American does make you feel like you got that PIMP juice going.....did some sight seeing, temples, river boats, clubbing, elephant trekking, and some drunken fighting among some of the local teachers all in fun but someone came out with a black eye and another kid got such an atomic wedgie from a Canadian girl that he may never ask her "Ay, what that all aboot?" again. Good times, good fucking times, and yes I got to see Mary Jane for the first time in a month but somehow still end up acting like the FBI is coming when I am smoking because all of the wacked out stories have about Thai drug policy etc. I saw some pictures of a Thai prison and made me think "Ah, that is what hell looks like!" So no thank you to that little tourist destination.....but a dope city and if decide to extend teaching it could be a definite go to because it is close to where i already am and the other teachers there, majority of them british have names like Blue Stu, Tigger, Casper and the like not sure why but in thai culture everyone goes by nick names and i guess the hopped on that band wagon, a bunch of solid characters that have all offered to help me find extended work in May if i decide and the offer to stay in a 3 story house with high speed internet, satellite TV, a cook and laundry maid next door for the tough price of $150 US a month is an offer one cant refuse, but as many of you know I am still trying to remain locked in on my goals and making it to Australia and working at the 2008 Olympics....those of you out there i got researching for me already thank you and keep me posted!!!

These past two days have been my first actual Teaching/Working days since i got to this country!!! cant believe it but besides all the fun and games i do feel fully prepared....i mean ive written way too much already and only one or two of you are still reading but lets just say the thai classroom is like a mini free for all and they dont get to wild but there is scarce a moment of silence. My first day at school i spoke in front of 3000 students out on the main soccerfield where assembly is held, and my first class was 50 students in a class i was told was "a bunch of devils" from an Irish man Seamus who has been there for 8 years and knows his lay of the land, well he was right they were devil spawn, not all 50 but a large majority....i have about 15 classes and see each once a week, ive only gone through 6 so far but the first was by far the most rambunctious....the girls tell me they love me, the lady boys giggle and smile, and the bad wise ass kids in the back keep saying "YO, we from New Yawwwk" .....all good because what they dont know is that regardless of what they do in class or dont do they all still have to get tested to i am sure the next few weeks will bring some sort of a change in scenery....or will it....................

hope to hear from you all, as always, and keep me posted on the haps on the other side of the world.....beach adventures begin in March as Decemeber is looking more like a hassle then anything because i will be working mostly besides a 8 day break for the kings 80th birthday, and apparently the party in Bangkok is something not too miss for all da marbles.....elephants, fireworks, and parties until sunrise....YES PLEASE! so work for now and more play later

mad love to all,

keep pursuing your dreams cause it feels really good....THEY SAY A PICTURE IS WORTH A 1000 WORDS.....this one does justice for my piece of mind!

get at me - -
Eric Maurice Edward Clark
aka
Clark
aka
Emoney
aka
Big C
aka
Larkham
aka
E-Sizzl
aka
Edogs
aka
EC
aka
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