What's it like in Thailand?

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I've decided that since I will be leaving Thailand in a few days, I would make a blog dedicated to the cultural highlights that I've observed since being here. Here they are, in no particular order:

Tout types:

Tuk-Tuk Drivers: First off, a Tuk-Tuk is a motorcycle with a carriage attached to it, that is used to zip in and out of traffic while delivering you to destination. Taking a Tuk-Tuk can be an expensive way of getting around, unless you buy into their typical (and I mean TYPICAL) Tuk-Tuk scheme of:
"Where you go?"
"Ummm...I don't know."
"Okay, you come with me. *this is when they pull out their map that every single of them has*
First we see Big Buddha, then we go to TAT (Tourist Authority of Thailand), then we go to
lucky Budha (and if you're guy is especially creative, he'll claim that the Budha is extra lucky
on this particular day.).
"Only 10 baht", they say. (which is about 30 cents Canadian)
"Only 10 baht?"
"Yes, only 10 baht, but we must stop off at a jewlery shop" (and a taylor shop, and another jewelery shop).

Now here is where you can buy in and go, or chose otherwise. What happens is: they get fuel coupons for taking you to these spots if you go in and buy something. So, I know people who just say they'll check it out and not buy anything, then get hassed. I also know people who have gone and spent a lot of money on one of these little trips. Now, I don't want you to get me wrong. I've taken a Tuk-Tuk or two, and they're good fun for what they are. They guys are also halarious with their persistant attitudes, but in all truth, if you want to get around, take a metered taxi.....

The metered Taxi: These guys aren't exactly touts, but they get a worth mention. First off, they're incredibly cheap. Well, for the most part. It's important that when you get into a cab that you ask the driver to put on his meter. If he doesn't, just get out. If he does though, you're in for an inexpensive ride. Maybe 2 dollars for a 15 minute cab ride. Their meters work on a combination of time and distance, the time aspect really not kicking in until like 20 minutes in. But yeah, if you're interested in getting around, especially Bangkok, take the metered Taxi's. Oh, and it's helpful to have a map or a business card to show these guys, their fortay isn't always the english language

Right, I forgot, about the Tuk-Tuk drivers. They'll take you where you want as well, you don't neccesarily have to dude the multi-buddha/TAT circuit, but they will almost always try to get you in a shop or two. However, when they aren't trying to get you to do the tourist things...and especially towards the night time...they start to make a few other offers. And here they are:
*Creepy looking tuk-tuk guy approaches me*
"You want masssssage?"
"From you?", I ask.
*he grins, and opens up a little pamphlet that EVERYONE of them has*
*Inside pamphlet you see like 40 girls standing there and a couple in a bubble bath*
"They massage each other, they massage you. I take you."
"Uhhhh...no thanks, not tonight, mayyybe some other time."

Then of course theres always:
"Where you go?"
"You go Ping-Pong show, I take you."
"No."

Then there's the prositutes, often lady-boys, who unfortunately hang out directly outside my hostel, leaving me no option but some interaction...and it goes something like this:
"WHERE YOU GOOOOOOOOOOOOOO?"
*steps a little closer*
"You want massage"
"Cheap, only ______ (insert baht amount here)
"Uh, no, you're uh, beautiful and all (I'm a gentleman of course), but uh, yeah, I'm tired (making sleeping motion with my hands) and....yeah, I need to sleep."
"I come with you."
"No...I don't think my bed's big enough for the two of us, good night"
*a little wave* and no feelings are hurt, I hope.

The flower kids: Probably the cutest little people in the whole world. They walk around selling roses to male tourists. They have the most charming ways to ask you to buy the roses, usually pointing out how much a nearby lady would appreciate it (They're usually right). Haha, but sometimes they aren't quite so swift. Many approach me, when I'm walking alone, and ask me to buy a rose.......for who....I don't know.

Then we have the Tailors: Always dressed with class, approaching you with a suave tone and are very well spoken. They use the friend approach. Prolonged handshakes combined with asking you are from is a common tactic. Haven't bought a suit yet, but I tell each one of them that I'll come to them if I do.

Now, I suppose I should point out, that most of these people are primarily situated on Khao San Road. Once you get out of that area and into the rest of the country, other less sleezy, culturally interesting situations arise.

Lets see....how about....the toilets: You usually squat, sometimes you sit, when you have bangkok belly, you too often......
- Also, no toilet paper (if there is some, you can't flush it), instead...sprayer systers, just
like your garden hose back home. Refreshing! And surprisingly effective.

The drinking: There's quit the variety of liquor to drink. Buckets are more common down south and Sang Som is personally my favorite whiskey (although, I was informed recently, that the Thai's just call it Whiskey and it's actually Rum). However, I think most people drink beers and there's quite the variety to choose from. Let me list a few:
- Chang (Thai)
- Singha (Thai)
- Leo (unknown)
- Lao (Laos)
- Tiger (Singapore?)
- Heiniken (The only imported beer I've found in this country).

Chang and Singha are the most common and can be bought in one of two sizes, either a standard beer bottle size, or in a 600ml option. The cost of a 600ml Chang beer is 37 baht, which roughly translates into 1.25 canadian. The percentage of a Chang is 6.5, although rumors that it is an unregulated beer, with percentages fluctuating up to the 10% range, are quite believable based on personal experience. What can you expect from a beer which names translates into: Elephant Beer. Oh, another worthy mention about thai drinking....is their version of Cheers. When cheers'ing they say: Shock-dee Kap! (Which translates into, and I love this, "GOOD LUCK!")

The Smokes: Now I don't smoke, I guess you could say "Unfortunately", haha, because this place is a smokers heaven. 2 dollars canadian for a pack, any kind. (Un)lucky for them, eh?

The Food: Hah, I could write several blogs on the food alone. There's so many different types, with a lot of common dishes throughout the land. Pad Thai is definately a standard, and almost every place will serve a fried rice and some curry. Oh, haha, I've never seen so much meat on a stick in my whole life. Or Sausages. There may be like 20 types of sausages served at seven eleven. Sausages everywhere, on buns, on sticks, in the crusts of pizzas. Thai's eat their food with a fork and spoon. I can't remember the last time I saw a knife. They push their food around with their fork and use their spoon to eat their food. Noodle soup is absolutely amazing. With the soups and most of the curries they have a special deep spoon. Love it. I think the most interesting thing about the way the Thai people eat, is the amount of extra stuff they add to their dish. You'll see someone get a plate of Pad Thai, and, before even touching it, they'll add: Peanuts, Lime (okay, fair enough, but...), fish sauce, chillis, sugar, more spicy water.....and this isn't just with Pad Thai, Sugar and an abundant dose of spice water is added to everything. Good for them, why not. It's funny though, I had one dish back home called "Lard Na". Which was a thick gravy poured over crispy noodles. My favorite dish at the resturaunt. But here...it's just so....different...and I've been on what you might call a quest for the perfect "Lard Na" dish. Oh, right, and tipping isn't customary. Thought I'd toss that in there.

So, I went to the cinima last night, and I've been there once before. It's pretty different from what I'm use to. First off, you get to choose your seat before you enter and the price you pay is based on your selection. Then, when you get inside, after all the previews are over, everyone stands. It's at this point a montauge (sp?) of the king is put on the screen. Little over pictures of him fading in and out of the screen atop a backdrop of thai country side. In each picture he always seems to be looking at some paper, pointing at the paper, showing others the paper, looking a little confused at the paper. I got the feeling that the papers contained development plans for thailand in various areas...but who knows. At the end of the clip the words come up in Thai: Long live the King.

Right on.

Then there's Thai TV. There's so many low budget soap operas. I'm not so into that scene, but there's actually been a few shows, that aren't soaps, that seem rather funny. They also watch a tonne of soccer (football) on television, as well as a tonne of Muay Thai. Something else specialy happened. Right now it's currently the Asian games, and while on Ko Phi PhiI sat down and, for the first time in my life, watched a match of badminton on TV. Man, I've waited my whole life for that moment. Then....I'm on the boat ride back from Ko Lanta to Bangkok....and on the boat they're playing.....Mr.Bean.....

What a great show to play, right? A show where the actor doesn't talk, and you just sit there and watch him does the funniest things in the funniest situations.....wrong. That's apparently not how the Thai's see it. Instead.....they've decided to dub Mr. Bean. Haha, come on, laugh along with me. That defeats the whole purpose. His mouth isn't even MOVING! Hahahaha. And I know enough Thai to hear him cussin, and sayings things like "Not good, not good." With the most obvious "not good" expression plastered accross his face. Dubbing Mr. Bean....what will they think of next.

A couple of quick notes:
- I've seen more than one elephant roaming the streets.
- The internet prices vary so much from place to place, currently 1.66 canadian will get me 50
minutes
- In Railay 2 dollars got me 30 minutes.
- The people here really do smile a lot and are just as friendly as I expected.
- The girls are absolutely stunning works of nature.
- The bars here close at 2. But there's a culture of late night bars that are open all night if
you know where to look.
- I've never seen so much: billabong, ripcul, dolce, diesel, or any other mainstream brand in my whole life. Especially billabong. You go to a full moon party of 10,000 people, and maybe 15 aren't wearing billabong...and those 15 are probably passed out naked in a bush next to their billabong shorts.

The buses: When taking buses in town, they're incredibly cheap, maybe 15 cents. When taking them to other towns (I've only done trips that took over 12 hours) they're usually overnight buses, of which the quality varies greatly, and they are often between 10 and 20 dollars. (Sometimes with a movie, sometimes with leg room, sometimes with aircon, and sometimes, to all the above, sometimes not.)

Thai Massages: Painful, but amazing. Cheap of course. But, unfortunately the quality varies greatly from person to person. However, afterwards, I almost always feel resfreshed and great.

And lastly, the language: French, nah. Spanish, couldn't be bothered. With no languages under my belt, I felt very attracted to the idea of learning Thai. The first two words I learned where: Sawat-dee kap and kop kun kap. I learned both by going into the air conditioned seven elevens on Khao San and being greeted by the peoeple behind the counter. "kap" is the polite word you put onto the end of your sentances if you're a male and "Ka" is the polite word you put onto the sentances if you are female. I think that makes things easy, cause you just always say the same thing. The language is quite difficult at first, because the Thai's have 5 different tones that they speak in. That means 5 different meanings for the same word. Luckily context can solve a lot of problems one might run into. The language is nice and simple in a lot of ways. There's no: I like this car. It's: Like Car. Good stuff. I can understand a bit, and I know a good variety of setances for a few different situations. haha, and of course, I made and effort to learn some funny things to say as well.

Unfortunately my internet is up in about 30 seconds, so, that's it for my cultural sharings. I'll post another blog when something interesting happens, or after I've made my way into Cambodia.

Till then. Take Care. and.....Shock-dee Kap!

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Comments

[Dad & Donna]

We`re back.......for the second time....this time from the cold....
Hey Brodie...missed chatting with you.....sounds like you had a wonderful Christmas and New Years Eve....We did as well ....although not near as interesting as yours......We spent ours with Launi and her family and it was very nice...I went around on the snow machine a lot and had a ball.They have a really cool place...20 acres....and a 6 bedroom house...they had a new years party and lots of families stayed the night...all had a blast on the slide hill with the GT`s and snow machines and skimmers....big fire to keep warm and lots of food. Well Brodie , it sounds like you have had some great adventures...with many more to come...you are a great writer and hold everyones interest with your blog.....Donna and I enjoy reading every one of them and are so glad you are having so much fun...We miss and love you....stay safe...talk soon ....Love Dad and Donna xo

[Katelyn]

Oh Broden
Oh Broden... how you make me laugh out loud. Honestly... the Mr Bean thing... classic. Wow.