Teaching in Korea

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At times frustrating, at times maddening, hanging out with Korean kids all day has been an interesting and educational experience. I have been teaching in Daegu, Korea for 11 months and now realize that teaching is something I want to do as a career. A typical day for me starts at 1pm when I teach my preschool class, 8 crazy 6 year olds (five years old in Canada… Koreans are one year old when they are born, not zero). Attempting lessons with this class is like trying to teach a pack of monkeys with ADD not to throw poop at each other. When they are attentive they learn so quickly and when they try you can see their brains pulsating from the effort. They are creative with the English they have and always want to tell you something. They always give interesting introductions (“How are you?” “Oh, I’m January, poop and happy today.” “You’re very strange.” “Thank you.”) and they love to learn disgusting things to say. I called one student, Tim, a monkey butt. He asked, “What is a monkey butt?” So I explained that butt means bum and it is the bum of a monkey. Tim replied in a studious manner with a serious look far beyond his five years, “Teacher, monkey butt is red.”
Preschool is by far the most frustrating to teach, but are also the most entertaining. I have a student, Dave, who eats the corners off his books. He also chews on his shoes, his socks, pencils or the desk if nothing else is available. Mia is a princess and a know-it-all. Ricky loves to scream and Robert is always angry. When he first came to class he only colored in red. I was a bit worried. Elly, who left in March, only communicated in a series of grunts and cat noises. Vicky always has a stomachache. She tells me every class. I have two new students who are quiet for now but in a few weeks they’ll be flinging shit with the rest of the monkeys.
After preschool I plan my lessons and teach my afternoon and evening classes. The afternoon classes are between 8 and 10 years old and range from the most disciplined students (I had a class who would yell at each other for speaking Korean) to craziest bunch of kids I’ve ever seen. When the kids pack into the classroom they close the door and run around and play. When I open the door the classroom feels like a sweat box and smells like the elephant house at the zoo. Not pleasant. I teach one class of 12 with four boys who would greatly benefit from Riddlen or horse tranquilizers. They have an obsession with their anatomy and were constantly pointing at their crotches and asking, “What’s this?” As a responsible teacher my response was “Ask your mom.” After which I had four boys running around grabbing their crotches and yelling “ASKYOURMOM!!”

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Comments

[Sharron...you know...Jessie's Mom]

I am still L M A O !!!!
I still can't stop laughing at your written work!!! I have forgotten about that special, unique sense of humour you have, Brendan....soooooo looking forward to your humourous descriptions of your adventures with "older" humans....monkeys....or whatever you happen to encounter. Keep SAFE! Sharron

[Jessie]

Thanking god
This reminds me to be thankful to receive a brand new preschool, to be able to shape them myself instead having some other foreign f@#* them up and then have them handed to you... good luck with your last 3 weeks baby... I'll be praying for you at 1pm everyday baby;)