15a Getting to Singapore

Asia » Singapore
December 26th 2011

Published: December 26th 2011

So this is my first time jump or Quantam Leap for all you cool cats out there. I can't fully express how uncomfortable this is making me. Believe me - I'm twitching.

This journey started like many of the others. An early start, the bus was late and when it arrived it looked nothing like the photo in the tour operator's office. Same same, but different.** This was, however, my first bus ride alone. My safety net was gone. That being said I was glad to be leaving. As much as I'd loved tubing it came with a price. Physical and mental pain. Covered in bruises, suspected broken bones, spray paint unwashable from parts of my anatomy and with a liver feeling like Gazza's (pre, during & post Euro 96) I sat on that bus and watched the beauty of Laos go by. It really is a stunning country, littered with mountains covered in the most green forests with bending rivers an valleys throughout. All this and I had seen fit to float down a river getting battered for four days. Don't get me wrong, I wasn't duped into it, nobody held a gun to my head and made me drink those buckets. But in ny defence I was under a time constraint, as unlike the others who would travel the natural route through Laos to Chiang Mai in North Thailand, I had to get to Singapore for a few days, before we rejoined in South Thailand for Xmas and NYE. One day though I will return...I only made it about 1km down the river you see and apparently there's another 2 to the finish.

We get to the airport and I realise how fittingly flashpacking (google it) it was for me to be flying to Singapore. A city which by all accounts would seem expensive coming from England let alone after pretty much spending around $1 (66.66p) a beer until now. Still I would have free accommodation and more importantly be seeing one of my best mates from uni and meeting his wife and daughter. A drastic, but needed change of scenery.

What I didn't realise was that I would first have to endure two of the worst flying experiences of my life.

It kicked off with the Air Asia flight from Vientiane to Kuala Lumpar. I found my seat (the aisle of course), a young mother by the window and her (maybe 4-5 year old) son in between. Now can I just state for the record that I like kids (not in a creepy way), but this was no kid. He was a f*cking knob. The minute I sat down he was kicking me, kicking the chair in front, screaming and generally playing up. Everytime he kicked me I looked at his mother who just gently whispered to him the Laos equivalent of 'There there, try not do that munchkin'. Seriously, I mean I'm not fully advocating hitting kids, but if that had been me when i was a kid, somebody would be getting a hurt real bad. Eventually I snapped and the mother shut him up by buying him a pot noodle. The kid then slurped his way through it. For those of you (Catriona) who suffer the same infliction, whereby noisy eaters induce some Rambo-esque rage attack, this was my own personal hell.

I couldn't run off that plane quick enough and decided to treat myself to a Macdo. After all I had some Ringgit to burn and wasn't actually visiting Malaysia.

I got on the flight to Singapore and was able to finally turn the rage down and relax...for about 5 minutes. After the safety announcement, for reasons unknown, that 'Moves like Jagger tune came on. Ok, so a bit of music for the journey. Having suffered that kid, surely this was tolerable. It wasn't for about 15 minutes that I realised that the music was in fact that song playing on a loop. 55 minutes of that bloody song on a loop. I was longing for that kid.

Finally in Singapore I was greeted by Nick and chauffeured to his condo. It was night time but I could already notice the stark contrast to the countries I had already visited. It was clean, the roads were flat, no dust and not a moped in site. I'm ashamed to say it, but I was glad to be back in civilisation.

15a Getting to Singapore

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