Like a Zillion Things to Do for Bohol, part II

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8. Sightsee the Chocolat Hills to tick the box. The hills do look like tits alright. Then practice French again. It's getting pretty good!

9. Have a big headed, bulky eyed monster of a green gekko land from the roof to the table just half a meter a part from you. Bless it for not hitting your head. Or your beer. Then watch a hermit crab finally come out of its shell and wiggle on the table. To top your evening at this zoo of a guesthouse stare the fireflies hover in trees like it was Christmass again.

10. Wait! You've got Ginebra (gin for change), Sprite and calamansi. Whisk it down with chicarons, deep fried slabs of pork skin, which beat the crap put out potato chips (probably also in terms of their fat content). Go to bed at 5 in the morning and learn a a few new things about Benetton commercials.

11. After the umpteenth 3 on a small motorbike ride to the trail head back to Nuts Huts, stumble upon a cord streched accross the path. An ambush in the dark? Fuck! Um, no, it's the cow again. And a pretty dangerous one if you were to drive down to the steps of the guesthouse in the dark. Do a good deed and disentangle the cow from the bush whre its cord is stuck and then pull the cow from the cord attached to its nostril to the other side of the path so that nobody arriving late will get hurt. Pat yourself on the head.

12. Move on to Panglao island and achieve! Build a turtle out of shells, corals, stones and seeweed. Get really active and get up twice to get more building material.

13. Have yet again one of those only in the Philippines candlle lit dinners, this time in an upmarket reastaurant on the beach. Wonder why the staff at this somewhat romantic place would wear teeshirts stating "beer, helping ugly people to have sex since 1862".

14. Move on from Tanduay and Ginebra to Matador, which is a brandy. Congratulate yourself on you expanding knowledge of Philippino booze while playing cards and listening to Kings of Leon.

15. In the morning learn that ants can swim in gin. I wonder if they sipped it while diving.

16. Beat your personal best at rides in crappy buses when leaving Panglao for Tagbiliaran to catch a ferry to Siquijor, which by the way, is pronounced sick-i-whore, which in turn is quite funny. Or not.

17. Bid fairwell to Anthony. Blaim kung-fu

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