homeward bound (temporarily, anyway)

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I think I’m going to cry tears of joy when I get home. It’s going to be like a scene from a movie—I’m going to step off the plane at JFK airport, drop my bags, throw my hands into the air, kiss the ground, and want to touch everything because it will seem so clean and beautiful. I’m going to smother Ken with kisses and torture my cat by holding onto him even while he squirms. I’m going to burst into tears when I see my mom over the weekend. I’m going to be giddy to have a cell phone that works, heat in my apartment, and rows upon rows of just soy milk to choose from in the supermarket.

For as much as I criticize the U.S., American politics, and the attitudes and foolishness of so many Americans, and for as much as I love Nepal and its people and culture, I have never appreciated my country as much as I do right now. I think I have a pretty good idea now as to how two-thirds of the world lives, even if I am living a more privileged life by Nepali standards. Although these past few months have been incredibly hard to cope with, I think they will enrich my life and my work in multiple ways. It’s amazing how much you learn (and perhaps how much stronger you become) when so many of the things you take for granted are taken away from you. Why did I sign up for this voluntarily? That part I am still working on…

Things in Nepal continue to be hard. I got almost nothing done over the past few days because people never return calls, the electricity is out, or there are strikes, shutting down the city (called “bandhas”). Today people are protesting price hikes for things like fuel, so there are few taxis on the road and lots of demonstrations. Sounds like a great opportunity for photos, but with the couple of bombings (small pipe bombs—nothing major) that have occurred over the past week, I’m not venturing out anywhere near the activity. Another day spent in my cold apartment (today there is no sun, so I’m back to wearing 3 layers and staying under the covers), watching smoke from burning trash and listening to people cheering and street dogs barking.

And I’m not sure what is going on with my research assistant. She lost a couple of the interviews I did, which I gave her on cassettes to transcribe. And lately she has always had an excuse to not meet with me, or she shows up too late before we have to be somewhere to even hold the meeting. I gave her a list of things to do while I am gone, including transcribing, translating, and recruiting participants for my sexual health program. I’m still paying her a full-time salary even though she’s only working about half time, so we’ll see what happens. But to try to find another research assistant would be a major ordeal. I did interview one woman, but she could barely understand my English during the interview, so that didn’t work. So many people come out of college with sociology, psychology, or social work degrees, yet they have no experience in the field, and often cannot speak very good English (even if they minored in it).

The only consistency I have is Sita, who shows up on time every other day and asks me what I want to eat. Then while the veggies soak in iodine, she washes my clothes, makes my bed, sweeps my floor, and does the dishes. At night she watches BBC (which she cannot understand) while I eat the food she made me so that she can wash the dishes as soon as I am done. Last night I brought home a can of Healthy Choice chicken soup that I found at Bhat Bhateni and asked her to put some rice in it. She ended up putting in so much rice that it was more like rice with gravy than soup with rice. And she kept asking me in Nepali if it was good like that. I just said, “Huncha, huncha,” and nodded with a smile. I’m so proud that I can have whole conversations with her now. This morning I told her that I am going to America for a month, then I’m coming back to Nepal, and then my friend is coming to visit and stay with me. She asked whether my friend can speak Nepali, and if she will like eating Nepali food. Sometimes I still don’t know what Sita is saying, and I resign to just smiling and nodding (or waggling my head, rather, which they do instead of nod), but a couple of months ago I would have been completely lost. My Nepali is still limited, though. Someone keeps calling me a couple times every night and babbles away, and I can’t seem to explain well enough that they have the wrong number (you’d think that when I start speaking a foreign language he would realize that).

Ken booked a room for us at a bed and breakfast in Newport, RI a couple weekends from now. A king-size bed, Jacuzzi tub, and a fireplace in the room! I can hardly wait! I know it will feel so indulgent and overdone after living here, but I frankly don’t give a shit. I can’t wait for a soft bed and warmth and electricity around-the-clock. And when I get home Thursday night I am going to take a long hot shower and let the water run in my mouth! Just because I can!

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Comments

[Bethany]

You took me back to a year ago when I moved back to the States. :) Have fun!