Escape The Ordinary

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I am Jack's broken heart, we have now left Tioman...

Apparently you go to Tioman for what is under the water, but as much as that is true the island itself is an untrodden, untrampled paradise - there is no urgency to develop here, everything and everyone is mellow. Nothing else matters, there is a healthy disregard for time with no need to run around at such a speed - you may think its lazy, i don't mind i think you've crazy, when you can watch the sunset every night who cares. So, admittedly there is not much to write here because nothing much out of the ordinary happens on Tioman apart from the daily rubbish dump which is duly rifled through by the horde of Makac monkeys facing off against monitor lizards, ferrel cats, as well as the inevitable swarm of flying beasts all of which defend their precious garbage from the nonchalent passer by.

We stayed at Air Batang (ABC) on the northern end of the west coast where the budget accomodation is clustered - comparable to a charming Malay village with one narrow footpath running parallel to the beach linking family run businesses consisting of wooden shacks centered around the respective operators restuarant.

So we took a rash decision and secured ourselves a beach front abode for the grand total of $1.50 a night where you can literally take one step forward onto the sand and one step back to bed and fall asleep to the sound of the surf.

As briefly mentioned earlier the wildlife is all encompassing, there are pythons hanging around in trees as well as a sizeable population of fruit bats which must have tourettes; either that or they are constantly pissed off with each other. Accordingly we are the lowest on the food chain - everything smaller than an inch with wings has a taste for human blood. I have discovered Satans spawn - the sand fly - this little bastard makes the mosquito look good. When biten its like being grazed in the balls, you know its happened, you feel nothing, at first, then BAM, madness ensues. Sian did manage to kill a cockroach in our hut one night with a combination of Boots Mango and Papaya Body Spray and Insect Repellent. I've heard a cockroach can survive a nuclear holocaust so stay away from fruit based body sprays.

While here I completed my Open Water diving PADI over 4 days. Diving off Pulau Tulai (Coral Island), Soyak, Chebeh, Fan Canyon and Renggis. On my first dive I got a little mask "squeeze", this is basically where the pressure difference between the outside and inside of your mask differs to such a degree that it feels like your eyeballs are being sucked out and you are pretty much getting a massive love bite on your face - god we laughed. So after some revision and exams over beers I was qualified, woop.

The food here is a new spectrum of edibles and everything tastes amazing, although all the food in SE Asia contains MSG even the salt and pepper so this may be why - me and Sian are addicted to Roti Canai an Indian flatbread served with daal, the perfect starter.

I am Jack's cold sweat - in the week we were in Tioman being only 3 degrees north of the Equator the weather tends to be fairly volatile (see, not much to write about so I gotta talk about the weather, how very British) so we experienced a few tropical thunderstorms in the middle of the night. These must be brewed in the depths of hell itself or at least it seems so when you have flimsy wooden walls, lino flooring and vents where windows should be; cue Sian squeezing the life out of me.

Regrettably we left Tioman and took another wonderful 6 hr coach journey to Kuala Lumpur where I write from now - “The journey not the arrival matters.” - T. S. Eliot - bullshit!

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