Langkawi, Penang and mentally ill animals.

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And another one..

just to bring you up to date with where I am, should you care, before I head off to another country and open a new chapter in my scintillating adventure.

I headed to Langkawi, a Malaysian island, which you can catch the ferry to from Thailand. After being told the bus wouldn't leave until 3.30, despite the timetable saying the next one leaves at 3.00, we were forced to pay a higher fee to hire the entire bus between us other wise we would miss the ferry. i.e they were blatantly scamming us, on the official bus as well. We somehow managed to refrain from slapping any smug heads in though and made it to the boat on time.

Langkawi was alright. It's referred to universally as 'a duty free island' which just means there are a few duty free shops dotted around selling not that cheap booze, kitchen stuff and gross clothes. The restaurants and bars are expensive for alcohol but the food was cheap in a lovely Indian place we found. The accommodation was cheap, although I was sharing a dorm with 7 other people. Dave and Kath took saving money to a whole new spectacular height by sharing a single bed in a dorm, before making a sensational u-turn and splashing the cash on their very own room.

There was a place called the seven wells where I headed up to on a motorbike. It's high up and is part of a waterfall that breaks down to a trickle and has seven pools that you can swim in and a natural slide in the rocks that you can go down. I headed back up there a few days later with some backpackers I met in a bar ..We took some beers up and stayed there for a few hours. You get a really good view of the forests in the distance and it's an amazing place to relax, very serene. Some of my photos on facebook are form there. I finished that day by watching the Merseyside derby, the last minute Cahill one, at 6 am. Awful. A Malaysian manc celebrated by dancing in front of me like Tina Turner.

Apparently I'm not welcome back at that particular bar, although I'm at a loss why.

Most days were spent on the beach, and nights involved buying cans from the shops and sitting on the beach chatting to people, some of whom were full of themselves.

People said were they had been and were they were going.

Other people said 'OK' far to often at inappropriate moments.

Bland observations were relayed to each other about how some places were different than other places and some places had changed since some time happened. Fascinating.

I made an effort to see something else on one of my latter days there and headed to 'bird paradise,'where, my guide book informed me birds were free to fly around in excellent conditions designed like the birds natural climate. I paid my unsmall fee and witnessed monkeys, snakes, crocodiles, hundreds of amazing birds amongst other creatures, all in tiny crap cages, some slightly mental and trying to escape. What joy! I felt sick and couldn't get out of there fast enough. The birds they had were so incredible, huge flamingos and flamingo type things with all different colours, and the croc was absolutely huge, but it should be closed down. I couldn't believe people sticking there little silver matchbox cameras up to the tortured monkeys trying to escape to get a great holiday snap. This monkey was trying to get out of the cage aggressively to swipe the camera and for a brief moment I had a beautiful yet twisted image of the monkey escaping and the tourist... no longer laughing.

The Eagles and the Owls were the worst as for some reason they looked mentally ill, going from left to right looking for an escape.

As I beelined for the exit I found my self in a huge shop full of something or other, and this Malaysian head popped up and said 'crystals sir!' and he was right, there were lots of crystals. I had to politely decline his good offer, god knows why someone would go to see birds and buy lots of crystals, but it was compulsory I walked through this huge shop to the exit to see more sad birds. Maybe the birds make the crystals, I don't know. All very Malaysian and money obsessed.

Then we came here to Penang for Chinese new year, a few days ago. Loads of Chinese have come here for it too, and spend the time with their families, so all the shops are closed. I've been waiting for a 2 month visa, which due to the holidays and my dilly dallying, has resulted in me being here for ages and ages. I would have left a while ago as I don't like the big city feel anymore. The roads are constantly insane with traffic, people drive on the wrong side of the road all the time, especially on corners. Every journey is like a death risk, but the booze is very expensive so that cuts the risk factor somewhat. There are not really any pavements with out stuff all over them such as bikes/chairs/ men flat out sleeping, so everyone just walks on the side of the road/motorway/loonpass and there are open sewer type things on the sides aswell. Malaysia seems more business like and proud of its soulless attempts to be like America and Europe, with shopping malls, beaches closed off to the rich, overpriced everything and cars and phones and airports. And it's not as friendly as other Asian countries .e.g. Trying to order a Cheese kebab in a very good Indian restaurant last night, I was looked at like an idiot and the waiter turned the menu over and pointed to tandoori chicken. So I pointed to kebab. And he said 'tandoori'. I said I don't want tandoori. And he said yes, and pointed to a picture of it. I said I know but I don't want it..Then he showed me the oven it's cooked in.(?) Ooh yes, nice oven, very er.. hot...?. Other people were eating stuff that wasn't tandoori, it was a massive place, so why couldn't I? So I stood up and screamed in his face ' I know what tandoori you is you crazy tard, I just don't want to eat it, get me a kebab or I will kill you'

Haha, I jest. Of course not, for I would have lost face. Precious face.

I just got up and left, bewildered. Today I went back and low and behold had the same waiter and ordered chicken with rice. And he looked confused and just stood there, and said yes, chicken... like I was observing it's existence. Run along then I said, losing the plot slowly. He then turned the menu over and pointed to...the very same cheese kebab of last night.. And the whole thing repeated itself, until my chicken, yogurt, cheese and cashew nut kebab came ...without cheese, yogurt or cashew nuts. All the time I'm getting shot looks by the Indian waiters like I'm an awkward customer. I could fall in love with this place, I really could.

In its favour there are Muslims, Christians and all sorts of Buddhists and Hindus and that type of thing, living here and have done so as friends peacefully for tens if not hundreds of years. Here in Georgetown must be one of the smallest areas in the world for having so many massive mosques, churches and temples. I suppose the worship of money unites all.

I'm finally leaving tomorrow for Sumatra. If anyone has been there already please email me with any suggestions/horror stories. I'm a bit nervous and excited, mainly due to the impeding Liverpool/ Chelsea match, but also about Sumatra.

I arrive in Medan tomorrow evening, which is a city that sounds pretty similar to here so I'll get out of there Al sharpish and into the jungle for some trekking and to see wild orangutans, hopefully. There is also a refuge where they train orangutans to survive in the wild after confiscating them, probably from people like 'bird paradise,' Some say Sumatra is not so safe, there was a war going on in the north until the tsunami in 2004, and after that they made friends and rebuilt stuff together. It was one of the worst places hit and loads of stuff hasn't been rebuilt yet. Thats what I'm told anyhow. It's a lot cheaper than here, and I'm planning to island hop to Australia and arrive there in early April to do a bit of earning.. All plans subject to changing completely, of course.

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