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Our mode of Transport
Gleaming in the morning sun, promising all good things.. and it was all good.As we begin the tale of how we ended up here at this particular moment, let us first set the scene for ‘here’ and ‘the moment’. Currently Andrew and Tori are sitting in their hotel room ‘The Salisbury - YMCA of Hong Kong’ in Tsim Sha Tsui (part of Kowloon in Hong Kong) consuming the following products:
• Pringles (light) in Original Flavour
• Malteasers in Cappuccino flavour
• Kit Kat in Black Flavour and
• Maxim’s Supreme Butter Loaf which is a fairly standard bun, except for the intriguing dialogue printed on its packaging. Let us hear from the packaging (a direct quote)..
“My love is of a birth a rare As ‘tis for object strange and high: It was begotten by De-spair UponImpossibility. Magnanimous Despair alone Could show me so diving a thing, Where feeble Hope could ne,r have flown But vainly flapt its tinsel wing. And yet I quickly might arrive Where my extended Soul is fixt, But Fate does iron wedges drive, And always crowds it self betwixt. For Fate with jealous eye does see Two perfect Loves; nor lets them close. Their union would her ruin be, And her Tyrannic
We are on our way
Qantas is vrey nice. If you smile sweetly and check in early enough they will give you an exit row.... Mmmm leg room pow’r depose. And therefore her Decrees of Steel Us as the distant Poles have plac’d, Though Love’s whole World on us doth wheel not by themselves to be embrac’d. Unless giddy Heaven fall, And Earth some new Convulsion tear; And, us to join, the World should all Be cramp’d into a Plainsphere. As lines so Loves”
Here endeth the lesson. We think it is a poem that has been mistranslated and poorly formatted. Why it is on a loaf of bread is beyond us.
So with the scene set, let us relate our journey thus far. If we had to describe our trip in a single word, Andrew’s word would be “AWESOMEBUTWEIRD” and Tori’s would be “SUPERFUNHAPPYSLIDE”. Ok, so we obviously can’t count but that pretty much sets the tone. So far our trip has been indescribable. So, ironically we will now attempt to describe it.
Our journey began rather early on Tuesday morning (1st July), where accompanied by Alex and driven by chauffer-extraordinaire Lizzy we arrived at Sydney Airport to catch the 10:45am Qantas flight to Hong Kong. After being randomly interviewed by Marto from Nova 969 about how expensive the airport is and scoring a
Hong Kong Airport Baggage Board
Best board ever... One of those flicky signs.. Not like the crap TVs at Sydney! free bag trolley (rrp $4) we had a bite to eat, farewelled Alex and headed to our gate where waiting on the tarmac was our gleaming Qantas Boeing 747-400. The flight was smooth, the service very good and the food actually not half-bad given we were in a plane. We watched some movies (Tori) and TV (Andrew), played some games, and our trusty DS’s and napped a little. It all went rather swimmingly. They fed us a number of times and mostly left us to our own devices. Based on this experience we would recommend flying Qantas internationally, but as our trip progresses we will re-evaluate for you. Andrew wants everyone to know that before consuming any ‘Splices’ or other ice-confections distributed to you by Qantas staff, allow them to thaw for at least 15 minutes to avoid dry-ice related issues.
As we began our descent into Hong Kong, we got some fantastic glimpses of the city, the islands and the South China Sea. We strongly recommend, that if you ever fly into Hong Kong from Sydney, catch a morning flight as the late afternoon/evening vista really sets a great tone. At 5:45pm (Hong Kong time) we disembarked (on
Waiting for the ferry
DS's are so handy.. Side note: Tori set an awesome high score on tetris and finished the game... wooo! time, which apparently is rare) from our plane to steamy Hong Kong International Airport. Whilst at cruising altitude in the plane the outside temperature was -54°C and when we stepped onto solid ground it was 29°C and humidity was in the mid 80s - a delightful contrast from wintry Sydney. We negotiated our way through the airport via many, many, many, many, many moving walkways and presented ourselves at the Turbojet check-in counter for our ferry to Macau. As we were not allowed to leave the secure part of the terminal and had quite some time to kill, we settled in with our DS’s and some Starbucks (very little to choose from after customs in Hong Kong) and waited for our bonded bus to take us to the Sky Pier to embark .
We left the airport at 9:30pm and were aboard and setting off at 10pm. As the glittering lights of Hong Kong faded away and we delved into the darkness of the South China Sea, Tori also delved into feelings of queasiness which were only kept at bay by closing her eyes and thinking happy thoughts, telling Andrew not to touch her or talk to her and
On the Macau Ferry
So its getting late.. and we are getting tired.. and in Tori's case, sea sick.... Mmmmm bad combination... praying “Dear Lord make it be over, Amen” over and over again. On reflection the sea wasn’t even that rough; Tori now recognises that the Manly ferry is often worse. Andrew can describe the entrance into Macau where as Tori cannot due to aforementioned anti-sailing. Andrew’s description: “IT WAS BRIGHT. THERE WERE LIGHTS” (Insert dazed and confused look). On arrival at the ferry terminal, The Sands looms at you with its fantastic red logo, the Hotel Lisboa and The Grand Lisboa twinkle further down and the Friendship bridge spans for kilometres, amazing you with its engineering prowess.
After going through customs and getting our virgin passports stamped for the very first time, we collected our bags (which involved everyone listening to a Yankee guy bitch about the speed of the baggage handlers) and headed out to find a mode of transport to get us to our hotel. After struggling a little, we determined that we required a taxi, which was perhaps a good decision regarding not having to lug our bags and a very, very, very bad decision regarding our lives (and safety of our bags). We joined the queue for taxis, which when we got to the front
Arriving in Macau
The Sands is singing its sirens song... of, had our large bags unceremoniously dumped into the tiny boot and the boot was then strapped down with a rope (similar to how many people poorly collect items from Kmart docks - for all you Kmartians out there) as only half of each of the bags fit. We clambered into the taxi - the back seat did not have seatbelts and encountered the most psychotic driver (we thought at the time), who was clearly disappointed that we had asked him to take us 5 minutes away rather than to Beijing. The taxi was clearly a death-trap with a light-up sign. As we careered around roundabouts at break-neck speed, cut in front of drivers and almost hit, oh lets just say 9 or 10 pedestrians, we took in rather quickly, among many things the sleek Wynn Macau, the excessive Grand and Hotel Lisboas and our own Neon dream ‘Pharaoh’s Palace Casino’ part of the Landmark Hotel, in which we were staying. We checked-in at a most opulently appointed counter, where friendly broken English staff helped us with a key and directions (“You in the West wing. No sorry, East wing. Breakfast in West wing. Take elevator to 6 level then
The friendship bridge
A marvel of engineering. East take elevator again to 16 level OK”) It was a little confusing. Thankfully we got in ok, to discover quite possibly the swankiest room we had ever seen. Mmmmm Marble. The mini-bar and full buffet breakfast was included, and the room service was fabulous. It was nice, nice, nice, nice and nice. Mmmmm room. After enjoying a very late dinner (Mmmmm room service - Wonton Soup, Singapore Noodles, and a club sandwich) we hit the hay (Mmmm hay) and within about 5 minutes we were both out like a bad, naughty dog and we both slept solidly and uninterrupted all night. Travelling must do something to you, because it was the most solid sleep either of us has had in months. In retrospect it was a good thing too, because we smacked the living daylights out of July 2nd….
Bright and early on Wednesday, 2nd July, we awoke to the unnerving realisation that we were not in Kansas anymore or in fact had never been in Kansas in the first place. Also, that we were in a completely foreign place. It has been as far as Tori has ever been. We drag ourselves out of bed (the hay
Colonial Square
We randomly came across it on our way to Jardime de Lou Loc Ioc was quite good), showered and proceeded to the ‘West Wing, 22 level’ to the ‘Noble Club Lounge’ for complimentary full buffet breakfast. We still have no idea how we scored this, as when we booked, no mention of any breakfast was made, and we also did not book into a Noble Club room, which would in fact entitle us to breakfast *Shrugs*. Either way they welcomed us in and we enjoyed juices, tea, really fantastic coffee, toast, many pastries, sweet buns, dim sum, baked salmon, cheesy spinach, smoked fried ham, melons, pineapples and dragon fruit and there was lots we didn’t take. After packing our backpack and donning some walking shoes, we headed out into the heat (already in the high 20s at 9am), and headed towards Jardime de Lou Loc Ioc, a community garden in the centre of Macau. As we snaked our way up steep hills, through (inanely) a hospital, past schools, decrepit apartment blocks and bustling streets we determined two very important and influential things about Macau. Firstly, Macau by definition is a contradiction; two faced in every manifestation (to which we discuss further on) and secondly, all drivers in Macau want pedestrians dead. Very, very quickly
Colonial Building
This building is now a private gallery in the square. we learnt that the only way to cross roads is to run and not worry about lights or zebra crossings. In Macau there are zebra crossings in abundance and not even once did we see them used with the intention of their designer. They are purely aesthetically pleasing stripes scattered along roads, which are ignored and designed to fool first time visitors. We determined then that our Taxi driver from the previous night was not in fact particularly psycho, but rather simply following convention. The experience from the previous night put Andrew off all together, but he also conceded that, having experienced it made him more wary when we were walking, so it may have (there is irony again) saved our skins from being flattened to a pulp. After getting a bit disorientated (Macau street signs are unhelpful - often signs are intended for other streets or streets randomly change part way for no logical reason) we stumbled across, for want of a better name, ‘Colonial Square’ a collection of Portuguese colonial buildings which have been attractively restored and are used for civic and cultural purposes surrounding a large empty space that perhaps people protest in, or similar but mostly
is ignored, much like Martin Place early on a Sunday morning. The buildings are particularly striking, and the combination of the heat, humidity, the bustle of traffic and the imagery the buildings evoke, you get a fantastic appreciation for the ‘Colony’ feel still remaining in Macau. At this point, we determined that it was foolish to have left the hotel without water and also sunblock. So our focus became less on finding the garden and more on finding a supplier of such goods. In the process we walked past many more beautiful colonial buildings and some lush private gardens. We stumbled upon a “Popular Pharmacy’ which on encountering many others throughout the day, appears to live up to its name. We purchased some sunscreen and determined that sun safety is not really pushed in Macau like it is in Australia, and the choices are somewhat lacking. So, stocked up on Coppertone, we left and conveniently ran into Jardime de Lou Loc Ioc, which turned out to be a delightful little oasis in the middle of the city - lotus, butterflies, rotundas, zig zag bridges and a community vibe, with tai chi enthusiasts, wannabe singers, instrument players, mediators, photographers, old women
and small children all enjoying the garden. A large pond filled with carp and turtles is the main feature but the rich green tropical foliage was a pleasant shady alternative to the heat; very tempting.
After resting, sunscreening up and consulting our Lonely Planet guide, we decided to follow (roughly) their suggested walking tour through the major attractions of Macau (mostly in the south west) followed by a visit to Macau Tower. Lonely Planet suggests that the trip is about 2 hours (plus time spent in attractions). Seven hours later we started our way to Macau tower. While Lonely Planet is an excellent guide, it doesn’t count on a) the heat, b) our struggling with directions and c) that we would spend so much time in some fantastic attractions. So it’s not all bad, just a little misleading. Our first stop was Senado Square, an important civic centre and shopping area full of colonial buildings which now mostly home international brands (Levis, Bauhaus, McDonalds, The Body Shop etc). The square features a lovely lotus filled fountain, it is big enough for outdoor exhibitions. We saw artwork from regional artists which capture the spirit of the Olympics. (Side note: Hong
Kong and Macau are playing a big role in getting people psyched for the games, Beijing 2008 stuff is everywhere - we are now waiting on some Sydney 2000 volunteers to show up and do their thing). At the top of the square is St Domenic’s Catholic Church, a beautiful building and very active church which has been restored and does capture the catholic sentiment of Macau. It has beautiful green shutters and houses some important art and other catholic paraphernalia in a little museum next door. We then headed up a hill (hills begin to feature prominently on this excursion) to Macau Cathedral (another Catholic church), also active and very beautiful in a colonial manner. This stop also featured a detour into a local patisserie/a which sells lovely sweet buns, savoury buns and tarts. We sampled a spicy sausage and cheese bun, a coconut cream bun, an egg tart and a Portuguese custard tart. They were all very nice. Tori particularly enjoyed the egg tart. The Custard Tart was ok, but we were in agreement that the best tarts are still in Petersham, so fear not Sydneysiders, you are not missing out. After Macau Cathedral we headed towards Monte
Fort via a glance at the Portuguese Consulate (another colonial style building) and one of the worst streets known to mankind. We walked up a staircase street (too steep for just flat walkways) and it was close to a kilometre long. It was awful. We stopped frequently and we are still amazed that we made it up there. However it was worth it. At the top of the street Monte Fort sits loftily above Macau with a fantastic view and some great attractions. Monte Fort is an old fortress which was also home to monks of some order or another. It has a bunch of cannons and once outseiged the Dutch. The top of the Fort is now home to a beautiful green space and the Museu De Macau. We decided to have a gander inside the Museum and if you are ever in Macau, this is a must see. It is well worth the ticket price. It is very thoughtfully curated, interesting and full of all kinds of history relating to Macau. Tori loved the carved shells and antiqufied maps of the region from the colonial days. Andrew liked ‘it all’. After spending a number of hours in there
(way more than we thought we would) we headed back out into the steamy day to see probably the most famous non-casino attraction in Macau; the Ruins of St Paul’s Church. As you descend Monte Fort on the ruin side, you come across the ruins of the College of the Mother of God which is next to the church and quite charming in a ‘This is like a lot of Roman ruins kind of way’. St Paul’s is somewhat underwhelming and overwhelming at the same time. We guess it is just ‘whelming’. The ruins look fabulous, everything photographs promise. However at the same time, you can’t help but think ‘Wow, is that it?’ It is essentially just the front façade of the church, which was pretty much decimated by fire back in the day. Around the back of the façade, there are remnants of tombs and pillars. Much of the crypt is in tact and is cared for (many bones still lie within). A sign near the entrance of the site indicates that it is a church and visitors should conduct themselves accordingly. We suspect that we were the only visitors that day who read the sign, especially in the
Senado Square
Centre of all thinks civic and commercial in Macau crypt. *Shudders*. As you leave the ruins and head south down Rua de Sao Paolo you look back at the façade up the staircase looming at the top and you can’t help but like it, in spite of any other misgivings. It really is an impressive sight and looking up at it, the size does help. So like many things in Macau it’s a bit of a contradiction. We are happy that we saw it.
We meandered down aforementioned Rua de Sao Paolo observing shops full of antiques and curios and salespeople thrusting sheets of hot thinly processed pork (by-) product at unsuspecting passers-by. It was at this point, in the heat of the day, the sickly smell of pork something and the constant threat of death by vehicles of all shapes and sizes that things became a little hazy and disorientated. So we got a little lost. We ended up in shady side streets, busy intersections, and local mixed housing areas and somehow stumbled upon a major thoroughfare and a monstrous Sofitel resort (Ponte 16) which had a strange outdoor almost-chandelier hanging above the front entrance. It was at this point, perhaps 45 minutes after losing our way,
Lotus
Pretty.. In the fountain at Senado square Andrew cleverly remembered the GPS on his phone, to discover we were going a very wrong way and had ended up right on the west side of the peninsula. Odd indeed. After realigning ourselves we bravely headed down the street which changed names more times than we cared to remember in search of Macau Tower in the south. Along the way we saw a fireworks factory (!), fish of many varieties being dried on open wicker baskets, cats who were keenly interested in the aforementioned fish and dogs which we could smell from 6 or 7 metres away. Eventually we stumbled onto Temple Square (in which we found A-Ma Temple, a major one in Macau), where we stepped into the Macau Maritime Museum (Yes, maritime museums are boring worldwide) and regrouped ourselves in preparation for the final trek to Macau Tower (now in eyesight).
The walk took us another 40 minutes and the heat was oppressive and still. It was still a pleasant walk however and we saw a lot of Macau-style luxury homes and commercial fishing vessels. When we finally reached Macau Tower (a whole entertainment complex), we had a bite to eat; checked out the Toys R Us
St Domenic's Catholic Church
At the top of the square.. very colonial. complete with Macau Tower Lego display out front and bought some tickets to the observation deck. As we ascended in the elevator, we didn’t know what to expect; but as the elevator cleared the ground supports area and shot up the tower, affording a beautiful view of the peninsula from its glass elevator doors, we knew it would be worth it. The views afforded from the tower are great. You get a birds eye of the harbours, the casinos glistening in the afternoon sun, the islands of Taipa and Coloane as well as some fantastic wind farms, and mainland China in the distance. One of the best bits of the view was being able to see the full length of the three amazing long and cleverly designed bridges which connect the Macau Peninsula to the Islands. From the top of the tower, you can participate in all sorts of legalised madness including bungy jumping and open aired tower walk (similar to that offered at Sydney (Centrepoint) Tower - just with half as many safety features.) After watching a bungy jumper we both felt a little ill. Macau Tower is the 10th highest structure in the world, coming in at around
400 metres. One great little feature of the observation deck is some parts of the floor are made of glass rather than regular flooring. Some visitors couldn’t bring themselves to go near it. We saw one lady almost freak out at the idea of standing on the glass. Tori admits she didn’t enjoy it too much. It is perfectly safe, but the mind is a funny thing. After some great photos and some solid sitting down, we headed back to earth and pointed our noses and sore feet towards the Landmark. On the home journey we saw the Macau Legislature, some more beautiful civic colonial buildings and some sweeping views of the Casinos dripping on opulence in the dusk. It was at this point that the contradictory nature of Macau really struck us. All day we had seen how regular folk live in Macau, and believe us, it is not pleasant. The apartments which are scattered all over the city wouldn’t pass any inspection in Australia. They look like they will fall apart at a moments notice, and often take the appearance of small cells or cages. They are filthy and overcrowded and dingy in every possible sense. Meanwhile the
Temptations
Where we stopped for tasty cakes.. How could we say no? Casinos are dripping in their own wealth. The luxury goods that line the arcades, the Joel Robuchon Restaurants, Limos, Rolls Royce’s and shiny steel and glass represent the complete opposite of Macau for most residents. It is hard not to miss the differences too, where divey apartments hug Casino Hotels and some of the staff at the luxury hotels makes less than A$10,000 a year. If you have a social conscious of any kind, even if you don’t realise it, the contradictions of Macau will certainly reveal itself to you. It certainly is food for thought. With that sobering set of thoughts in our minds, we trudged back to the Landmark; hot, tired, sore and dirty but thoroughly pleased with the length and achievement of our day. With a minimum of fuss, we went back to our room, showered and rested up a bit. After refreshing ourselves a little, we grabbed a hotel car (with about as close as you can get to a normal driver in Macau) and headed to the ferry terminal to work out what ticket we would need to get to Hong Kong the next day, and to have a starting point for our Casino tour.
After wandering with some confused difficultly we got our ferry answers and headed out into the steamy night. First stop was to suss out the ‘Macau Fisherman’s Wharf’ which essentially is a massive entertainment complex huddled within some rather random themed buildings. The entertainment includes a Casino ‘Babylon’s’, something that looks like lasertag, a giant Timezone style ‘theme park’ and some restaurants. The buildings include a Ming Dynasty style fort, a volcano, a Mexican village, and global street scenes (such as typical ‘Amsterdam’, ‘Miami’ and ‘South African’ streets to name but a few). This was a very confusing place and we didn’t hang around long.
On the way to find sustenance, we found ourselves in the Mandarin Oriental Hotel (an offshoot of the hotel in Hong Kong) which resulted in drinks and snacks in a lovely bar called Vasco’s. After enjoying a ‘Cosmo-tini’ (Tori) and a James Jameson Scotch on the Rocks (Andrew) and a tasty-some-kind-of-Portuguese-ham-and-cheese specialty we checked out the Mandarin Orientals own casino, imaginatively called the ‘Casino Oriental’. It wasn’t much of a casino (about half the size of Star City) but it had a lot of crystal hanging from the ceiling, in such a way that
you would not like to be there during a violent store or earthquake. We decided to head next door with the massive throng of folks who were being lured by the glowing red signs of “The Sands’. They don’t let you take photos in the casinos for security reasons so we simply recommend coming and seeing this for yourself. The Sands was amazing. It is clearly one of the better and well managed slick westerners to head into these here parts (insert country twang). A massive centre chandelier hangs in the centre of the building that we estimate to be more than 20 metres in length, 15 metres in width and would seriously hurt you if it fell on top of you. The gaming floor went on for miles and miles, table games were too many to count but it was easy to identify the most popular (Sic-Bo). Unlike Australian casinos, while pokies still feature, they are not the dominate gaming type. Interestingly, Macau pokies are not only similar to Australian ones in style and sound (the buttons are in Cantonese which is challenging) but are in fact made by the Australian company that makes our own. Aussie! Aussie! Aussie!
Egg Tart
Super great... Oi! Oi! Oi!… We imagined the ‘Australian Made’ TV campaign back home “Pokies to Macau - Australian made… global quality” Every casino had them. After loosing a few dollars to The Sands, we headed back out into the night and towards our next stop (and Tori’s most anticipated), the sleek Wynn Macau. With a parade of luxury designers flanking the building, a Bellagio style fountain set to music (and fire) every 15 minutes and a glittery sign, the Wynn Macau promises the epitome of casino luxury. The entrance to the casino features a massive three-dimensional map of the stars signs in bronze and directly above it, on the domed ceiling, each of the Chinese Star Signs corresponding to the positions on the floor (Mmmm giant bronze rat). It is done on a stylish but overwhelmingly grand scale. The casino itself is much more understated. With a cream, red and gold décor, low soft-lit ceilings and pillars, the Wynn Macau caters to a more refined taste than some of the other big players. It also lived up to its name, with Andrew doubling his money on a pokie, making him rather pleased. After that successful adventure, we headed back out into
Portuguese Custard Tart
Nice but Petersham is better! the night and headed towards the most famous of the Macau casinos, The Lisboa. We got as far as the entrance before Tori’s body couldn’t take the walk any further. We were also starting to get pretty hungry (still hadn’t found any dinner). So we took some photos of the monstrosity and headed back to our own casino, Pharaohs Palace, which had a limited understanding of Ancient Egypt (probably less pokies back in the day). So hungry, tired and hopped up on neon lights, we headed back upstairs to our room, where we indulged in some more room service (Wonton Soup, Cheeseburger, Fruit Platter and Spring Rolls) and hit that hay again. Another quality night’s sleep. We were stuffed. As we had determined that we had seen just about everything that we wanted to in Macau, we thought we might sleep in a little, which was fabulous. The only thing we might have done if we had more time, would have been to head over to the islands (where the Crown Macau and The Venetian are located, as well as more fireworks factories than you can poke a burning stick at) but that would have been at least another full
Macau Cathedral
You can never have too many churches (this one is like 500 metres from St Domenic's) day trip. We decided that after our day (we estimate that overall we walked around 10 kilometres through Macau) we would take it easy on July 3rd and thankfully, we did.
Waking up late on Thursday (3rd July) was a nice luxury. Unlike Australian hotels, Macau is rather civilised. Check out is normally at midday, so the world was somewhat our oyster. Having showers, we lazily made our way back to the Noble Club lounge for breakfast (same as the previous day except different dim sum, plus cauliflower, slightly different breads and pastries as well as smoked salmon making the cut). After enjoying the view from the Lounge and more excellent coffee, we headed back to our room to repack our bags and get organised for the business of getting to Hong Kong. We checked out, once again the staff were excellent and utilised the free shuttle that operates during the day from the hotel to the ferry terminal. Our driver was quite restrained by Macau standards and as we moved through the city we bid adieu to the glittering casinos and ramshackle apartment blocks alike, all heating up under the brilliant sunshine. We arrived at the ferry terminal,
bought tickets to Kowloon and handed over our luggage to some men who made us a little nervous (“Please God, let our luggage arrive on the same ferry as us”). We went through customs (another stamp!) and entered the departure lounge, which afforded great views of the Fisherman’s Wharf, The Sands and the Friendship Bridge. We boarded our ferry (the seats being much nicer on First Ferry than Turbojet) and Tori prayed hard not to get sea sick. The water was calm and the sun was shining so as Macau disappeared over the horizon all signs were positive as we viewed countless numbers of tiny uninhabited islands and Andrew nodded off to sleep to the intoxicating perfume of petrol and the lull of the South China Sea…
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Mum/Alison
non-member comment
Vicarious travel in Macau
Wow. I felt like I was there with you and I had a great laugh! Glad to know our home isn't the only place where you can smell the dogs from 7 metres! It seems like Macau didn't quite get the less is more maxim with the neon from your photos. But what interesting art and building decoration. I'm impatient to get there myself if only to smell the fish in the heat of the day!