Chapter 2: Hong Kong (Part 1: 3rd - 5th July)

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When we last left our happy wanders, Andrew and Tori were farewelling Macau, a strange place full of contradictions and psychotic drivers and were looking abroad to Hong Kong, hoping it would be the jaw-dropping steamy metropolis that Lonely Planet describes. Andrew had nodded off to sleep, and Tori, tense with sea-sickness paranoia, distracted herself with hundreds of seemingly identical photographs of the many uninhabited islands between the two cities…

Tin Hau, a popular goddess, and protector of seafarers in Hong Kong must have been out and about on Thursday July 3rd, because no one got sea sick on the First Ferry from Macau, Tori included. The sun continued to pour down on the catamaran, and passengers were afforded vista after vista of cute little mountains jutting out of the sea, covered in lush deep green foliage, with a happy backdrop of puffy white clouds (‘individual cloudettes’) and shorelines of blue-green-brown (the silt from the ocean floor) jostling around the rocks all vying for attention (“Look I’m water! Check me out! Totally wet!!”). This went on for some time. It is almost as if the two cities have conspired together to work out the exact right distance to whet your appetite. Just when you are really starting to bore of cute little islands, things start happening - a man in a tiny, completely unsound looking boat punting past with a stick. A couple of houses scattered in the hillside, some monster shipping frigates (nothing Australia gets is a big as these boats!) and then some more built up areas, followed by some more built up areas… followed by some high-rises, say 6 or 8 identical buildings next to each other (Apartment owner: “Right, I know I left my apartment here somewhere… hmmm *scratches head*) and then from the corner of your eye, Hong Kong begins to loom into view. At first you think, “Oh yeah, whatever, a big city - I’m from one of those.” Then you realise that you are simply looking at a tiny cluster on Lantau Island with the airport in front. As Lantau Island melts away and Hong Kong Island comes into view, you suddenly become shamefully critical of Sydney “Ok, so Sydney is having itself on if it thinks it’s a big city.” Suddenly you are right in Victoria Harbour. Ships are everywhere and skyscrapers that Sydney could only dream about and wake up drooling over surround every possible inch of space. They all glimmer in the sunshine. This is a city that worships glass and steel. Clearly every time a newer bigger building goes up, someone says “I can take it’ and builds a bigger one. On the Hong Kong side of the Harbour, the skyscrapers are unparalleled, each a monument to the constant hum of unimpeded business in a city that never shuts down. The Peak sits happily above it all, beckoning as an oasis for the city folk. On the Kowloon side, it’s an unending vista of wealth in every sense; cultural and financial, tangible and intangible. A huge cruise liner, The Superstar Pisces, is docked in its home port, towering over the little green and white Star Ferries which are synonymous with Hong Kong. Our ferry is guided to the China Overseas Passenger Terminal, a building of shiny gold which has a large shopping centre and a hotel in it. The view is beginning to give us a sensory overload. The boat trip, tense as it was for Tori was positively a Swedish massage compared with the electric buzz that is jamming our minds as we dock. Clearly Hong Kong is going to be HUGE in every sense.

We disembark from our ferry (having to wait for some VIPs first), and make the unnecessarily long trek into the terminal. It is a quiet place. We are the only ferry at the time and everyone else is somewhere else. We quietly shuffle through the silent corridors, looking for customs and baggage. We find immigration, where officers efficiently and silently stamp our passports (Yes! Another one!). We follow another quiet corridor and find the ‘luggage collection hall’. Tori becomes tense, hoping that our bags will be there. We make our way to the moving belt. The tension builds, then strangely subsides. She becomes distracted by the baggage belt itself - it is just like the one Kramer falls out of in Seinfeld. Nice. Tori gets the giggles, and just like icing on the cake, our bags swing into view. The relief that flooded over us has never been greater. We both wanted to hug our bags. We started to make cries of joy and whooping noises, until Andrew pointed out the serious looking customs officer staring at us - the only passengers in the terminal. We hurried bashfully through customs and suddenly found ourselves three stories up in a shopping centre. Hmmm.

Ok, so since we have been away, turns out all sorts of things have shopping centres attached to them. However, perhaps my one and only criticism of Hong Kong is this - perhaps having an elevator would be fabulous. Does anyone realise how heavy a fullsized suitcase is on a regular escalator?? We even asked people and everyone told us there was only the escalator. Argh.

So about 20 minutes and one bruised foot later we emerged exhausted from the building onto bustling Canton Street. With our accommodation being only four blocks down and two blocks across it seemed like a good idea at the time to walk. In hindsight we don’t recommend it - It isn’t that it was a long walk or even a hot one. It was a busy, congested one with not just pedestrians and traffic but also construction work and our new bestest buddy a subway, with stairs. Argh Argh.

So we trekked down Canton Road, towards the harbour. The street is jaw-dropping - every designer label doing a roaring trade. Little vendors selling all kinds of junk, the sun beating down upon everyone - groups of giggling young women dressed to the nines, shirtless construction workers balancing on scaffolding made of bamboo (mmmm distressingly unsafe looking) and creepy Indian men approaching you offering tailor made goods.

Ok, so, side point on these guys needed… You really have to give it to them for trying. They really, really want you to buy a suit or what-have-you. But they haven’t really thought it through too much. Imagine the situation: Andrew and Tori are being jostled along the street; the sun glaring, humidity, maybe a low 1 million percent, the sights and smells somewhat disorientating and just to top it off we are each carrying a full-sized suitcase, a cabin-sized suitcase plus a backpack and handbag. We are not likely to stop and buy a suit from Jesus Christ himself let alone some random guy in a foreign city who thrusts a flyer in our faces. The first guy who approached us perhaps regretted it. Our response was a cross between homicidal maniac and dope fiend. It was a little odd. Seriously mate. Yeah, we want a suit right now. Shove off, to put it nicely. It wasn’t our last encounter, but it was a the strangest.

So after navigating through the throng of people, cars, construction (footpaths closed) and the subway (imagine pulling a full-sized suitcase up thirty steps) we arrived on the door of our hotel, hot, sweaty, out of breath, dazed and hoping that this place is ok. We were not expecting The Landmark, but we really didn’t want to be in a dive.

The Salisbury YMCA of Hong Kong is an absolute gem. We wouldn’t bother staying anywhere else. We loved it. It is in the most convenient location, is inexpensive, the service impeccable, the rooms are comfortable and they embrace air-conditioning with the enthusiasm of Trekies for anything lame (Sorry, it never hurts to pay out Star Trek).

Seriously, we were so happy to stay there. Turns out, it’s an incredibly popular hotel with almost everyone. We booked our room in January (six months ahead) and that is the latest recommended time to book. They are booked solid all year round and we can understand why. If you are going to Hong Kong and you want somewhere reliable without paying through the roof, this is the place.

We dumped our bags and lay in the sweet, sweet air conditioning until dusk. We decided to brave the warm night air and find something to eat. We followed our path back down Canton Road (‘No, thanks’ to multiple hawkers.) and happened upon Sweet Dynasty. Turns out, Sweet Dynasty is a chain of restaurants in Hong Kong, but don’t let that put you off. We had a delicious meal. Like pretty much everywhere in Hong Kong, you order by writing down plate numbers and quantities, which does take the excitement of interacting with a puzzled stranger out of the equation, but it is good if you are tired and over-stimulated by the city. The best thing about Sweet Dynasty is that they make excellent dim sum and you can get it any time of the day or night. We had a delectable feast of dim sum, rice, a squid and lily dish (yum) and other tasty tid-bits. A random sample of Cantonese cuisine rolled into one meal but we enjoyed every bite. We arrived at the restaurant at about 8pm; the sun was low over the horizon. We left at about 9:45pm. It was a shock. Hong Kong is lit up like a Christmas tree all year round. This city loves its electricity. As we walked outside it was as bright as a few hours before, with neon lights, television screens and decorative building lights dazzling you with scarcely a thought to climate change blah blah blah. We secretly loved it. It not only made us feel good about how little electricity we use in comparison in Sydney (Mmmm smug) but also it really spites the whole Climate Change movement which Tori particularly likes, not because she wants to do damage to the environment but because it’s a become a fashionable bandwagon that bugs her. Go Hong Kong - burn that power unnecessarily!!

The night was still balmy and with the lights still glowering, we had a second wind of energy and decided to explore. We headed across the intersection of Canton and Salisbury Roads to the Star Ferry Terminal and the Hong Kong Cultural Centre. We had a good look at the little ferries in the twinkling lights and then cast our eyes across to Hong Kong Island - glittering with a rainbow of colours festively adorning each building. We wandered up the viewing platform in front of the Cultural Centre and marvelled at the sights. It was overwhelming. Even in the off-season Hong Kong is full of international merry makers, sightseers and indulgers. The buzz of the crowd, the heat of the night and the twinkle of the city bode well for our visit. We wandered back to the hotel room with a great sense of satisfaction and a most important question. What to do first? So after some soul-searching, but mostly at Tori’s insistence, our first full day in Hong Kong would be devoted to Ocean Park.

What can we say about Ocean Park? We should let the photos do the talking, but first; a little preamble…

INTRODUCING THE AMAZING, MOST FABULOUS, GREATEST INVENTION OF ALL TIME…

OCTOPUS CARD.

We had been instructed to purchase one of these, and the joys of the Octopus had been foretold, but until you are the proud owner of such an amazing object, its true power is not realised. Being tourists, we opted for the ‘Mini-Octopus’ which allows you to keep it and it comes on a little key ring… and is about a quarter of the size of a regular one (a regular one being a credit card size). These are fabulous. We cannot speak any more highly of them. Best. Thing. Ever.

So we bought an Octopus each at our local MTR station (Tsim Sha Tsu) and then headed to the nearest 7-11 (more on the awesomeness of 7-11 later) to load it with credit. Armed with what would become the most handy and awesome thing in our possession (even more so than a raincoat in wet season, Andrew adds) we made our way by ELABORATE UNDERGROUND TUNNEL SYSTEM (Subway) to the Bus Stop.

We had been a little apprehensive about the buses, as they seemed to be complex and in surplus… but with great ease did we climb aboard the correct bus , headed for Stanley and settled back to enjoy what was to be one of the coolest theme park days ever.
SIDE NOTE: Ocean Park has a bunch of generic rides. This is not what makes it awesome. The following list outlines the things that make Ocean Park awesome, in no particular order…

1. Pandas - They are so cute *insert whiny voice*. If you had asked Tori six months ago what her opinion was of them, she would have told you that they were overrated just like regular bears. This is not the case now. Tori understands why people go nuts for these beasts. They are sooooooooo adorable. They are much smaller than you expect (now questioning the ‘Giant Panda’ moniker) and they are all identical. They all have cute black ears and cute black eye-bits and eat lots of bamboo and are the complete cliché you see in nature documentaries and in cartoons. Aww.

2. The Cable Car - World’s greatest Cable Car, well the other one in Hong Kong is awesome too, but different awesome (more on this later). Ocean Park is basically divided into two bits; the lowland and the headland. The only way (not really, but the obvious way) to get to the headland is by death-defying cable car. It stretches for almost 2 kilometres on the edge of a long cliff face with the most JAW DROPPING VIEWS of all time. Imagine spectacular views of the South China Sea, Islands, MONSTER FRIGATES, Bays and Towns and Mountains all in a cable car. Seriously. Incredible. You almost don’t want to get off once you overcome the terrifying realisation that you are suspended by a cable hundreds of metres in the air overhanging pointy rocks and deep, deep blue sea.

3. Ocean Park Tower - Just when you thought you had seen it all, Ocean Park decides you haven’t. After recovering from the cable car, you can wander towards the Tower which is essentially a revolving viewing platform which climbs up a very tall pole on one of the highest points of the headland, giving you even more opportunity to take happy snaps and gawk.

4. Escalators. Why? Why? Why haven’t more theme parks embraced escalators? Ok, Ocean Park needs them - basically you spend long periods of time going up and down the cliff-face on the headland to get to things, but seriously, every theme park needs them - Away with the everyday drudgery of walking. Hell, we would even take a moving walkway. It’s great. And surreal. Its forty degrees in the shade and you are queuing politely to get on an escalator to go up a hill, and the scene along side you is near vertical gardens. Weird.

5. Lunch - The greatest theme park lunch is at Ocean Park. You know how almost every option at theme parks is essentially something greasy, deep fried, limp or seriously sugary - well that is also available here (Andrew was particularly impressed with the in-park McDonalds) but we had the hands down complete opposite totally awesome and most fantastic lunch (basically the edible equivalent of the Octopus). It was a massive bowl of rice topped with delicious Asian greenery and duck and BBQ pork. And it wasn’t scabby. It was massive and tasty and the greatest meal in a theme park ever. And it wasn’t very expensive either. Probably cheaper than your sad soggy ‘beef’ burger and chip combo from Dreamworld *shudders*.

6. The ‘Fish Hole’ - Without some sort of official name *goes and looks it up* ok, its called ‘Atoll Reef’ but ‘Fish Hole’ (coined by Andrew) sounds better. It is completely non-environmentally accurate, but it is totally awesome. Having greatly enjoyed things such as ‘Shark Bay’ at Sea World and Sydney Aquarium, Tori wasn’t expecting much. However, despite how totally inappropriate the whole exhibit is, you can’t help but say ‘Wow’. You start off looking at your typical small tanks with weird shaped, often poisonous fangly fish and then you get shuffled into this massive cavern in which you encounter this enormous pool/tank/monstrosity. In the centre a spotlighted artificial island, and between you and the island is about 1500 fish, turtles, rays and other assorted marine… things. Due to the tank being round, all the creatures seem to think that they must continually swim in a clockwise direction, around and around the tank. Some of them (oh, say 200 or so), do this very close to, or on the surface of the water. It is totally surreal. You work your way around the tank and then you descend to a lower level and work your way around that (the creatures still swimming in an OCD fashion) and then you descend further still, to see a bunch of them doing the same thing but on the ‘ocean floor’ (Andrew (confidently) “They are bottom-dwellers”). The one disappointment to this is the distinct lack of Sturgeon. Now, normally we do not expect to see Sturgeon at Aquariums, but it was one of the selling points of the park - They actually have Sturgeon. Five of them in fact; a gift from Beijing - Something to do with the Olympics. Well, they did have five at one point. The reason we didn’t get to see them is due to them having to be removed from display. Some of the other fish weren’t too keen on the new housemates and *ahem* voted one off… into the afterlife. Poor Sturgeon. Anywho, they were going to give them their own tank, but they were waiting for a replacement fifth one from up north, because four for the Olympics didn’t seem right, apparently. *Shrugs*

After experiencing the fury of Ocean Park, hot and sticky and thoroughly pleased with ourselves and our decision making ability, we hopped back on the bus and headed to Stanley, to see the markets. These particular markets are apparently more ‘Western-friendly’ than other markets in Hong Kong. May have something to do with the large British and Aussie Ex-Pat enclave around Stanley itself - It’s a nice part of the region. Either way they were awesome.

Having never experienced Hong Kong markets ourselves, we were a little apprehensive at first, but once we had made a few tentative purchases it was on for young and old. These are particularly good markets, selling all sorts of cool things. We picked up belts, bags, clothing, paintings, and all sorts of doo-dads at very nice prices. Tori wants to go back. Even now (and its more than a month later and she is stuck in Liverpool). After exploring the maze of little stalls we burst out of the side streets and onto the boardwalk near the water and admired the afternoon views. Very, very nice. After recovering and making a few more purchases, we loaded up our packhorse - Andrew and headed back to the bus stop and back to Central.

On a whim, instead of catching the MTR, we joined the throng of commuters for the Star Ferry and crossed the water by bobbing green and white boat. Tori is ashamed to say that it made her feel ill. It is no more than a six minute journey and in sheltered waters *blushes*.

We hopped off at Kowloon and wandered towards home, making a detour for a snack-based dinner courtesy of 7-11. We have included some photographic evidence for your viewing pleasure as to support our following claims.

WHY 7-11 IN HONG KONG IS TOTALLY AWESOME AND NOT CRAP LIKE AUSTRALIAN ONES…

$10.50 Australian ($73.50 in the local coin) will buy you:
• A tube of Pringles (the normal sized one - not the small tube)
• A long-neck of Carlsberg (one of the ‘local’ beers of Hong Kong)
• 1.5 litres of still water
• 1.25 litres of Black Gold (Coke)
• 2 packets of Mamee noodles
• A regular Kit-Kat
• A regular packet of Malteasers
• Maxim’s Supreme Butter Loaf (which if it sounds familiar, yes, it’s the one from last post… and to refresh your memory, lovingly inscribed on the packaging is the following… (a direct quote)..

“My love is of a birth a rare As ‘tis for object strange and high: It was begotten by De-spair UponImpossibility. Magnanimous Despair alone Could show me so diving a thing, Where feeble Hope could ne,r have flown But vainly flapt its tinsel wing. And yet I quickly might arrive Where my extended Soul is fixt, But Fate does iron wedges drive, And always crowds it self betwixt. For Fate with jealous eye does see Two perfect Loves; nor lets them close. Their union would her ruin be, And her Tyrannic pow’r depose. And therefore her Decrees of Steel Us as the distant Poles have plac’d, Though Love’s whole World on us doth wheel not by themselves to be embrac’d. Unless giddy Heaven fall, And Earth some new Convulsion tear; And, us to join, the World should all Be cramp’d into a Plainsphere. As lines so Loves”

• And if that wasn’t all enough value, the cashier threw in a handful (six) of strange collectable metallic magnetic boxes (Tori - perfect for choking small children) with Olympic sporting motifs…obviously their contribution to getting the Hong Kong population enthused about the games.

Need we say more? No - well, awesome value!

Now, before you judge us on our foods of dinner-choice that night, please be aware that we had enjoyed a tasty, healthy, AWESOME lunch at Ocean Park and we were tired, feeling cheap (after all the shopping at Stanley) and that sugar rush produced our first blog entry, something that we have been struggling to replicate since *shakes fist at England*.

So with that all out of the way, we adjourned to bed, dizzy with sugar, pandas, octopus and all the joys that Hong Kong had already produced, and more importantly the prospects of what was still to come…

So, the plan was to have a less taxing, dare we say “easy” day on the 5th of July.
Oh how wrong we were. We are officially nutbags.

So after the excitement of Ocean Park, we decided to stay in Kowloon and check out some of the local sights. After a little bit of walking we found our first stop, which came as cool relief, given how hot it was. Kowloon Park is the big green centre of... unsurprisingly Kowloon. As we wandered through the misty haze and cast our eyes on the foliage and brownish ponds, we were a bit ‘meh’ about the whole thing. However, we pressed on deeper, and were rewarded with the sweet, sweet innards - I mean, good bits of the park. We first happened upon a bizarre but much welcome little stall right in the centre. A McDonalds. Not any McDonalds however. This was a dedicated drinks and ice-cream dispensing McDonalds, right in the sweet, sweet innards of the park - making them that much sweeter and also… refreshing. After grabbing some cooling refreshment, we meandered to the ‘bird pond’ and were delighted with our find…

Andrew: “A man with a big zoom”.

Some people have some serious photography equipment in these here parts, y’all. This was justified however when you approach the pond and have a look at what is inside.

Now, in Australian parks, if you are lucky enough to a) have a pond and b) the pond is full of water, you might consider yourself lucky to encounter ducks, perhaps a goose or even a black swan. In England, it’s about the same except scratch black swan for a white one and ‘a swan’ for hordes of the nasty bastards. In Hong Kong however, they really know how to ‘bird up’ a pond. Apart from the generic ducks and geese, you will happily find strange oriental duck things, things with long legs and more particularly, things with long legs, one which is usually hiding, a mass of pink feathers and silly black bills - FLAMINGOS. These out numbered any other bird easily. It was great. They all just stood around in the water grooming and the like; this was your ‘average duck’. It was like being in a slightly camp interpretation of a park. It was fabulous. Tori will be lobbying Hurstville Council for Flamingos in Oatley Park when she gets home. Would certainly spruce the place up a bit eh?

After spending about an hour admiring the… plumage, as well as the myriads of carp, turtles and… men with large photographic zooms (Andrew was having lens envy), we pushed on in the heat and encountered... Cockatoos and Galahs.

Odd.

Not only is there a lovely bird pond, but also a not-so-lovely aviary housing many exotic species, including the aforementioned Aussies, plus Macaws and other beasties. After having a gawk and laughing at the ‘Rhinoceros Hornbill’ we headed through the traditional ‘Chinese’ Garden (somewhat uninspiring) and then meandered to the MTR to visit the Jade Markets.

The Jade Markets were a little freaky. Pretty but freaky. Having become used to the bustle and noise of the city, it was a bit disarming wandering into rows and rows of seemingly identical vendors with buyers crouched over tiny bits of green. Tori succumbed to teeny-tiny purchases but that was more than enough, and we made our escape.

After a brief look at the local Tin Hau Temple (Mmmm Incense-y) we determined that it was too early to visit the Temple Street Night Markets - Given that it was about three in the afternoon. A McDonalds beckoned. For the low-low price of AUD$5.78 (HK$40.50) we were able to enjoy:
• A McChicken
• A Big Mac
• A large Coke
• A large fries
• And Andrew’s particular favourite...
A Sundae cup choc-full of succulent, delicious, sweet, sweet, hot CORN KERNALS!!! w00t!!!
From our table we were able to formulate a cunning plan of attack - full of cunning… and plan-liness.

From there, we hopped back on the MTR and heading north, we found ourselves knee-deep in… flowers.
The Flower Markets are particularly impressive in Hong Kong. Not only did you get an eye-full of beautiful blooms that we don’t have at home, the arrangements are spectacular and there is a fantastic... emporium devoted entirely to the successful display and arrangement of flowers on the corner. It is a beautiful shop and we could have bought so much, but alas, we did not.

After smelling like… roses, we decided to take it down a peg and visit the Bird Markets. This was an eye-opener. Birds are apparently highly valued and much loved pets in Hong Kong, little cages making them good for apartments. However, this love doesn’t extend too much to the birds lifestyle as much as the owners. The birds are beautiful; some unusual and elegant and not like our own, some more common, and many parrots, but they live in teeny-tiny cages, crammed together, waiting for an owner in fairly uncomfortable quarters. Not our preference for animal care. It was interesting but extremely sad at the same time.

After that little jaunt, it was almost night… making night markets more likely. So, we decided to walk back to Temple Street (encountering a strange Coke display in a shop window on the way) and by the time we arrived, it was time to do some shopping.

Temple Street Night Markets are extremely popular, mostly with tourists, and it is clear why. There are some great items at cheap prices and haggling is encouraged/expected. With all the good there is also a lot of crap, and quite a few shady characters. (Hey mister, want to buy a nice Rolex? He says to an American who is wearing a real one… *smacks head*). You have to wade through a fair bit of junk, but there are a few gems, and for first-timers it’s a fun experience.

After wandering through the market twice, it was getting on in the evening, and we were tired, sore, laden with shopping, Tori’s feet had swollen like balloons and it was still 40 degrees in the shade, so it was time to go home. We waded through the sea of people to the MTR, dazzled by neon lights which kept the night at bay, gawked at dried-something-reptilian and headed back to the cool comfort of the Sailsbury. We dumped our buys in the corner and sat very still in the cool air-conditioning, admiring Tori’s Kankles. With that we hit the hay, then apologised to it, and went to sleep.

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