How I learned the definition of ‘Lao Fab’

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So I got a group of friends to go kayaking down the Nam Khan. It was a ridiculous ride for a variety of reasons, but first and foremost – some of the inflatable kayaks just wouldn’t inflate. So you’re in Laos, what do you do? Answer: attach a funnel to the end of your car exhaust pipe, and rev the engine. Look, no-hassle inflation! Check, Lao Fab.

Ok, here’s another one. As Leslie and I are happily rowing down the river, fearing that every stroke nearly tips us over to one side or the other (and I, embarrassingly, suggest to Leslie that “maybe you’re sitting a little off-center to the right??”), our guides realize that we are slowly but steadily sinking. Yeah, that sounds right – we looked over the edge of our kayak, and saw that water was pouring in from the sides. So what do we do about it? The guides pulled us out of the water, tipped the kayak on its nose and water came pouring out of a hole in one end. Once they emptied out the boat, they stuffed the hole with a plastic bag. Problem solved. Lao Fab.

Overall, the kayaking day was sort of a comedy of errors. After suggesting that I am a semi-professional kayaker (ok, I didn’t go that far, but seriously. I love kayaking), Leslie was more than thrilled to be in my boat. That was before we tipped over the first time, slo-mo style (Leslie: “Um are we tipping?” Emily: “I guess… this is weird. This I don’t know what to do” *SPLASH*). That was when we realized that this kayaking day was going to be a lot more fun that we bargained for. We struggled to climb back in (laughing too hard). The second time we tipped, it was because we hit some rocks in a set of rapids. Eep. This time, the guides decided we were hopeless, and they he-manned us back in our seats by grabbing the top of our life vests and dragging us up. Oy.

Yes, we were the only boat that flipped the entire multi-hour ride down the river. Oh, and I haven't even mentioned the time that we got stuck on rocks (sucks to kayak during dry season) and we couldn't wiggle our way out of it. Two 8-year old Lao boys, to the rescue! Two little cuties in just their underwear and old-fashioned scuba diving masks (the kind that look like a circle surrounding their faces) came running across the rocks to give our kayak a push into the water. Saved.

Needless to say, Leslie has called dibs on riding with me when we go to Vang Vieng in a few weekends.

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Photos

Attempts to inflate the kayaks
Given that the pump wasn't working, our guides had to come up with more inventive ways to inflate the rafts. Decision? Use the car exhaust pipe.

Lesle and Emily kayaking merrily
We look relatively competent in this picture (even if Leslie's feet seem to be overheating and therefore hanging out the side of the boat)...

Sam, Emily, and Leslie
Two of my good friends in LPB

Comments

[Happy Yun]

How come you wrote it on January 30, but only posted today (Feb. 21)? All this time I thought you were totally neglecting us. LOL, M.