Tigrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrs and dharma

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aaaah so I finally get some time to write......i tried to start my blog the other night, after being fed lots of strong, black & spicy chai, sitting down on the lad's computer at the guesthouse, only to have to face one power cut after another, after writing only 2 lines....i gave up! So here we are now, Back in sarnath after 7 years, spending time with some beautiful people and recieving some inspiring dharma teachings......

We left off in Pune, from there we had an epic 1 and a half day train journey to katni, which fortunately had a stop half way through, so me and the kids hung around on a station platform for 4 hours ( which went suprisingly quickly), had some bananas for lunch, got on the connecting train and arrived in katni at 2am. the kids were, as usual, absolute troopers about being woken up at 2am, and we then got on a 2 hour taxi to baandargavh, 'Land of the tigers!' A friend of a friend has a place in baandargavh, and we had arranged to stay there; we arrived under a dark blue velvety sky studded with millions of bright sparkles twinkling their messages of loveliness upon us. And then to our room; i was expecting just a normal room, my mate had arranged us to stay there for free.....we get led to our own private cottage, oh yes, 5 star stylee, with a beautiful solid mango wood 4 poster bed, posh cushions everywhere (which the kids loved and immediately made a 'shop' with!), hot water showers (indoor and outdoor!) and beautiful cold stone floors, with ornate wooden furniture everywhere.....and free stuff! like a 'vanity kit' which has a comb, cosmetics, a sewing kit......excitement! So yeah after all the excitement we finally went to sleep in a huge comfy bed (that akashi has taken loads of pics of- check them on facebook), and awoke to find that our cottage, along with the rest of the resort, are slap bang in the middle of baandargavh jungle...we are surrounded by a green and lush forest of saal trees murmuring in the softly in the blowing wind, with monkeys and leaopards as our neighbours ( i'm warned by the dude not to go out by myself after dark........some leopards enjoy the taste of human flesh!). We wake up and go on a safari deeper into the jungle, into the heart of tiger territory, and see some nilgai, some sambhar deer, loads of common lngur monkeys(with the black face and white furry hair), many birds, many many chittal deer, but no tigers! The next safari, which I booked as a back up (in case we didn't find the tigers), it's the same story...no tigers! The naturalist from our resort and the guide from the park think that the tigers might have made a kill, and are sitting around gorging somewhere deep in the bushes.....So that evening, the day before we leave baandargavh, I decide to stretch our budget and go on one last safari, just to give the kids one more chance of seeing a tiger in the wild, the animal that they spend a lot of their time at home pretending to be (baby tigers that they are!), and one of the main reasons that they wanted to come to india....so we drive to a different part of the jungle, and spend half an hour waiting in one spot; the kids are amazingly patient; we have seen tiger pugmarks in the area and know that the tigers are around somewhere close.......and suddenly, right in front of us, a tiger walking across the track towards us, such a beautiful creature with dense black stripes sitting boldly on a background of fiery orange fading into cream fading into fiery orange; amazing! Although the driver starting his engine as the tiger walked into the bushes was a mistake; the tiger turns his head sharply, to stare at us, a PROPER tense moment, especially from a mum's perspective.....but then it walked onwards, thankfully, praises be to nature! Our driver and guide were slightly worried however, because our jeep was alone, and because we had small children with us (who apparently make a lot of noise if a tiger charges at them , thus further disturbing the tiger!) We say 3 tigers in the space of 40 minutes after not seeing any tigers for 2 days, and so close as well; when we first started out on the first safari, The concerned mother within me expressed her concern at riding in an open top jeep with kids, I mean the lions at gir were a bit different, but surely, tigers are known man-eaters, they view kids as prey......! I was assured that they know the habits of tigers well, and that's why the jeep will always stay 60metres away from the tiger (as tigers are known to charge fast if disturbed, but only for a short distance), and then when we are on the track, the tiger walks out in front of us, about 6 metres away.......the tigers walked on, and we had to drive away, as the driver was worried that the tiger had been disturbed, and may charge at us, so we respected the laws of the jungle; we were on the tigers' turf....we (reluctantly!) drove away.

And from the land of the tigers to the turning of the wheel of dharma, to Sarnath (via varanasi), the place where the buddha gave his first teachings after reaching enlightenment (the four noble truths and more important dharmic principles and stuff). Back in Sarnath, after 7 years, a place of good vibes, nuff dharma teachings and monasteries, and the most soundsystems per square metre than any other place in India! as any traveller in India can tell you, the Indians are keen on their soundsystems (their love for music fuels this!). On festival days, temples get their rigs out on the streets in front of them and blast bhajans, having one hell of a holy soundclash! Or, like here in sarnath, the rig is pulled along by a cycle wallah, on his cart, (along with pictures/statues of gods/goddeses leading the procession and a huge oldskool genny being dragged along behind!) Or for the even bigger rigs, getting pulled along by a tractor, like a rig we saw yesterday, with 6 bass bins, full mid and top range and 8 horns as its' crowning glory; to mark the anniversary of the death of a famous writer, different groups from all the suburbs of varansi lead soundsystem processions to the temple dedicated to that writer, and go an pray and get fed....the police even help them, accompanying the groups and making sure there's all goodness there, love it! The place we live opposite (sunils light and radio) fixes genny and hires out rigs I think, and they generally turn on their sound at 8am....(akashi says 'They are ALWAYS having a party!")

Well, apart from all the soundsystems, there is also a lot of dharma teachings to be tasted in Sarnath; it's the reason why I came back here, and why I wanted to bring the kids, to experience some of the flavours of what goes on here, and also cos i wanted the kids to hang out with enlightened beings! So what's going on here is a dharma gathering, like an open vipasana retreat, for 10 days, where people can drop in, join in with mediations, join group discusiions on topics as diverse as 'the exploration of emptiness', 'death, dying and loss', 'relationships' and 'women on the road and the path to freedom.' What's one of the most beautiful things about being here is also just being able to chill with the other dharma explorers, students and teachers, taking refuge in the sangha..... As soon as I got here, it felt good, felt like coming home, I feel safe and have felt my heart opening up to its' own aliveness, felt my spirit strengthen in its' uniqueness, felt dharma blossom from within as the teachings settle and touch something deep. And so many lovely people around who have been playing with the kids while i meditate, take part in group discussions or take in a dharma talk in peace. It's been lovely for the kids too to be able to spend time with all these different beautiful people, and also to get to know Gyan, my friend jaya's 3 year old son, (jaya has been blessing us with her loevly tecahings on this course). Shivum has enjoyed another young boys company, and they have had great fun getting messy making mud pies, burying and 'washing' shivum's toy sharks in the mudbath and pushing each other about! Akashi has also enjoyed having another little brother around, who showers her with love and kisses and many affections...both me and jaya are pleased for the presence of the other, and esp of their children.....its nice for all the kids to have 10 days to play and connect.

The teachings, as usual, are like a light shower of tinkling and refreshing rainbow drops, bringing me to my senses, teachings of truth and wisdom, and so many different flavours of teachings from the 5 different teachers, all with their own unique take on things, 'one dharma, many voices' as Zohar, one of our teachers described it. One dharma talk, which Jaya gave, entitled 'mother dharma' touched me deeply (of course!). She spoke of many lessons she is learning as being a mum, and how they help her in her practice. Like how, being a mum, you always have your bag with you, carrying all the important things you need to keep things flowing, and lo and behold you take one thing out one day, THAT will be the day that you really need it! What are the qualties we must keep with US every day? what helps our life flow? Also, she talked about those moments when you are really boiling up within (parents- u know what im talking about!), and how to respond, not react? Just to be able to stay present within those moments, being able to trust in something deep, some knowledge that knows what to do, not having to blow up and react, not worrying what others might think (when your kid is at someone else's house on xmas day, and nicking their toys and beating them up is the example she gave!)......we too can give ourselves that same time and attention, even when we worry what others might think, just staying present and opening ourselves up to that vulnerability that comes with not knowing WTF to do sometimes, just staying there, peacefully, quietly, even joyfully, and seeing what happens.....like my little sister told me of a pema chodron teaching, that we should take care of our negative emotions, like anger, ill will, haterd, like a mother taking care of her baby; when the baby cries, a mum will drop everything, and examine the baby, lovingly, attentively, to see what is wrong...... Also, every year sarnath is blessed with the presence of christopher titmus, a teacher with a deep understanding of dharma, and a succint and humourous style of teaching. His talk on 'Samadhi' was really helpful to me in relation to the way I live my life; about being able to really give attention to something, if something is bothering you, really taking the time to examine it, to examine its' condtions, and how they came about, and then realising, that when the conditions fall away, the problem itself also falls away.

So now it's late, and i've sneaked out to the internet cafe to blog and must trek back to the guesthouse, tomorrow we go to varanasi, the kids will either love it or hate it, or probably both! So so so much love to everyone as usual...........byebye!

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