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Published: April 4th 2011
Woo hoo! Here I go again with my inane ramblings, sitting in a net cafe in Rishikesh, gotta type quick cos the india vs sri lanka match starts in a coupla hours, and I still gotta do some jobs and have lunch before going to watch it with my homeboys from Little Buddha, a chilled out cafe up the road.....The India pakistan match was a corker(arch rivals, the country was in a mood of anticipatory excitedness!); I was staying in Vashisht, only a few hours from Chandigardh, where the match was held, and everyone was proper hyped about india winning! Everyone took a half day off work, shops and schools closed, even local government officials rescheduled meetings so that everyone could sit glued to the TV.......much fun!
So where did we leave off? been meaning to blog for a while but haven't had the chance, Aaah i remember, we left off in sarnath, at the dharma gathering, which was beautiful; made some great friends who we travelled with and have been bumping into all over the place, a dharma family! We were sad to leave Mohit and family (of Mohit's guesthouse, where we were staying). They gave us so much love, looked after us, with Mohit giving us rides about on his bike (a badboy honda pulsar, 3 times as heavy as me, rode it about a bit without kids and fell off taking a u-turn unskillfully!), taking us all into varanasi on his bike and then for boat rides on the gangaji, his mum worrying I dont eat enough and constantly feeding me, their dad concerned when we stayed out all night at my friends party (even though i had told them we were doing so!).......they opened their hearts to us fully.....
So we left Sarnath, on 21st feb, my bday! We said our goodbyes, including going to the thai mandir to say goodbye to Tommy, a beautiful white puppy that Akashi, Shivum and Gyan (my friends' little boy) had been looking after, feeding, playing with and giving love too (Akashi one night, as she was falling asleep, dreamily said 'I LOVE that dog.........') My friend batelle commented that since the retreat had begun, Tommy had been looking much healthier; she put it down to the love the kids had been giving him! So bye bye sarnath, hello varanasi, city of light, life & of course death, considered by hindus the holiest place to die, and bodies have been being burned here continuously, 24/7, for more than 2000 years. We met up with my friend Sarah in varanasi, and went for a slap up meal at a middle eastern restaurant, with a gorgeous middle eastern thali including hummus, lebaneh(salty creamed cheese),warm fresh pitta, smoked fried aubergines etc....much yumminess! We then took a boat trip on the gangaji, and had a boat wallah who was a complete joker.....within 10 minutes of tyhe trip, he was sitting back and enjoying the view while I was rowing the boat! Me and Sarah felt like we were tripping the whole day, and had lush and giggly times all over the place! She works with kids, and was amazed at how great the kids are at being taken from one place to the next, navigating the dark, narrow alleys, dodging cows as huge as horses (and big, sloppy cowpats)....she helped remind me that they are in fact very tolerant, and also pretty damn hardcore sometimes! varanasi is a city ofextremes, you can see everything there in a matter of minutes it seems, cute little puppies, and then an ill and sick dog with only 3 legs, small bouncing and happy babies, and then a corpse being carried through the gali next to you down to the burning ghat, the wealth and splendour of some of the temples, and the poor streetkids who work outside them selling postcards, shining shoes, anything to get a rupee or two......the kids really wanted go to manikankarna upclose (the burning ghat). i wasn't going to take them, but they were so interested looking on from the boat, that the next day we walked up there with my friend Shaggy. We walk down the narrow cobbled galis (windy alleys), and feel the vibe changing and the air grow thicker as we get closer to the ghat. We reach, and soon the smell of burning bodies is wafting into our nostrils, and we look on from above. The bodies are covered in white cloth, so it wasnt too disturbing for the kids, but after a while shivum didnt want to look anymore; the death energy at that place is quite something, but also very beautiful in the reminder of the fragility of life; you see that lifeless body, and undestand 'One daythat will be me, that will be my father, my mother, my child, my frined...' none of us can escape that. Didn't feel morbid, just a gentle little reminder of impermanace. So, back to the cute puppies; we again adioptred more dogs in Varansi, and went back to manikarna a few times just to feed the pups, who the locals say had a mum, but I hadnt seen her. The pups could have only been a week or two old, and Akashi and Shivum fed them and played with them. I sat and gave one of therm reiki for a while because she looked a lot weaker than her brother, and the little darling fell asleep in my arms, so SO cute and lovely, we have some pics, will try and upload soon! varanasi was a great experience, didn't think i'd try there with the kids (most travellers with kids we have seen in places where its easier like goa, rishikesh, manali) but i'm glad we went, and i think they also bloom with all the different experinces of India, learning different lessons, big and small, along the way. The people of varanasi are generally very jovial, and the kids got their heads tussled on the streetrs, and got lots of love from the shop-wallahs and chai-wallahs who lived around our hotel. Aklso, they both started learning bhojpuri, the local language, only spoken in varanasi and surrounding areas. I learnt some in Sarnath, cos it's nice to talk to the locals in their lingo, and also you dont get ripped off so much, and I loved how the kids just picked it up from hearing; it's a very enthusiatic and loudly spoken dialect, and they got the hang of the tones right away "aap tik huWAAAAAH? (how are you?) "Kitna leBUUUUUH?" (how much?)
So, from varanasi I had booked tickets back to Gujerat, but it didnt feel like the right thing to trek halfway back across the motherland cos akashi had been puking the night before. So i cancel the tickets, not quite sure of where we're going to go, and then feel something in Lucknow calling, not sure why but booked our tickets there; it's sort of on our way to ranthambore, and there's a teacher there, ajay-ji, who i heard gives teachings every day....so why not? We get to the station for an 8pm train, which doesnt turn up until 2.30 am (by this time the kids have camped out on the platform, warm and cosy under many woolen shawls!) We arrive in lucknow the next day, and ater meeting ajay, i realise that he is the reason i ended up in lucknow; his presence is gentle yet powerful,and i feel an inner strength there that usually i can only cultivate with lots of meditation. Each evening, Ajay-ji comes to our guesthouse to read from the Yoga Vashisht by Valmiki (vashisht is the guruji that taught Ram and his brothers, big hindu god), and in the part of the yoga vashisht we were reading from, Ram is asking vashisht about progressing along the spiritual path, and aspects of meditation. After class, I took some notes, which i'll sum up below (these are my interpretations of ajay's interpretations of valmiki's writings of the conversations btwn ram and vashisht!....my ba (mums mum who was heavily into the ramayan) would be proud!)
Ajay-ji talked about reaching a place of 'all doors open-ness', a place inside where we are completely open, giving and receiving. He talked about being 'wiped out', like a blank canvas, no preconceptions, what the buddha describes as emptiness, in a place of non-self, if that makes sense ie knowing what you truly are, that there is more to you than this mind you are so attached to. Also, in this place, you are aware of your body on a very subtle level, aware that it is changing, aware of its' impermanence, and aware of its' limitations, aware that it seems to be here, but that it is not really here; just as the hindu and buddhists text teach that this world that we believe to be so real is really more like a dream, an illusion; one thing can change, like the sun stops shining, and the whole thing would fall apart in an instant! Similarly, we are aware of the mind, but we use it only for practical purposes; not indecisiveness, not having to make effort to make decisions, just letting the wisdom of life dictate, and using the mind on a practical level with minimum effort. Ajay-ji says at this place of all doors openness, the intention of the mind is purely 'how can i be helpful in this situation?' This can also be applied to thinking about the future, as we do need to make future plans sometimes (ie booking a train ticket in advance). But we shouldn't let the mind 'have legs'; run away into the future or the past, into useless spaces. The mind is a tool to be used specifically, for specific situations. The body and the mind are great tools that we have, to help us become fully realized. Ajay-ji also talked about sometimes, in trying to manage our lives, we end up separating ourselves from our true aliveness. Just resting back a bit, sinking down....it helps! So, to reach this place of body/mind dissolution that vashishtji describes to Ram, we must be 'non-active activists'. 24/7....not just while sitting for meditation, but also while i'm walking, talking, washing, laughing; I must do the best that I can in every successive moment. Actually just through life, and all its' intricacies and the challenges it presents, is an optimum time to 'practice' what I learn through meditation, to be able to apply that calm and equanimous mind, that peaceful place of the mid which lies deep underneath all the anxiety and confusion........
We also had a great time chilling with others in Lucknow; we visited the botanical gardens with my friend issy from germany, and had fun buying natural beauty products at a mall. We enjoyed spending time with ajay-ji's young children and wife; I bought some bows and arrows (made of recycled bits of wire, bendy wood and paper) from a street kids one night, and the next day, akashi, shivum, shanu and babu(7 & 5) had an afternoon of shooting all over the place, much fun!
So from Lucknow to Ranthambore national park, near the strange little town of sawai madhpur. The train journey was interesting, kids fell asleep straight away, I lay on the top berth listening to a man talking to his wife with great emotion, breaking down into tears, then having a go at her, then saying he's going to kill her, then crying again, then calling his dad and going through the same routine, and then calling the docter and going through the same routine when the doc refuses to make a home visit to hiis wife at 3am.....me and the guy opposite me are in stitches, trying to cover our laughing so that the mad guy on the phone won't hear us.....poor dude!
We just flew by ranthambore, went on a morning and evening, beautiful scenery like outta indiana jones, huge reddy cragged rocks, fluffy yellow grasses and lush green trees, encompassed by a clear and blue sky; we saw many types of deer, as usual, monkeys, the remains of a leopards kill (but not the leopard, they're quite shy creatures apparently) and a mummy sloth bear digging furiously for termite's nests to eat, and then 2 baby sloth bears coming along to help her!
From Ranthambore, we take the train up to Haridwar, on our way to Rishikesh, the foothills of the himalayas, sourrounded by lush green forested hills. QWe go to laxman jhula, just outside of rishikesh, and Jilna and keval receiive us. It's nice to have someone to help with the bags and the kids, proper family fun with jilly and keval, a group of not quite indian indians wandering around, (keval is my gujerati frined i met out here who also lives in uk). One baba commented something along the lines of me and jilly being keval's wives (with kids in tow...) lol! We have a great time in rishikesh with a group of close friends forming, we meet for dinner every night and discuss life, the universe and everything, whilst taking the piss out of each other and kids messing about all over the place! We take a day trip to a nearby national park, but it's too expensive for some of the others to go into, so we just take a walk on the outskirts of the forest, and find elephant dung(the driver is very worried and asks us not to go too far in cos of the elephants anh the tigers!) We spend many afternoons here at the beach by the gangaji, gangaji is flowing fast and strong through rishikesh down to haridwar, flowing all the way from the melting ice glacier at gamukh, in gangotri (where me and james trekked up to last time). The water here is icecold, and it's not ok for women to go in swimsuits/bikini's, cos it would just shock the indians, and it's a holy place and all that, but one time, me and my friend andrea see that there's no indians on the beach, and quickly strip off and jump straight into gangaji's ice cold greeny blue waters, so cold that i lose my breath, but so purifying, filling me with shakti from the few little minutes i'm in there, before jumping out and quickly getting all my clothes back on before anyone sees!The kids love playing on the beach, wandering into the shallow parts of the gangaji to see the tiny little schools of fish who swim away as soon as you step near to them, they love climbing the bouldering up the rocks at the back of the beach, and of course, playing with the sand!I take oyur hula hoops along for fun, and some kids come along, who sell flowers in little banana leaf bowls for people to do puja(worship/offerings). They ahve loadsa fun with the hopps, and we have loadsa fun with them, playing, tickling, chatting. I've got used to seeing kids as young as 5/6 working cos i've been here a few months now, but to see how shocked Jilna was by it reminded me of how mad it is......Jilly talks to one of their mum's, who doesnt seem to think not teaching them to read and write is a problem. How lucky we are in uk to have free schools for all; over here, if you want a good education, you have to pay; the government schools are generally useless. Anyway, these boys love the hooping so much, coming to the beach to meet us every day, shouting tio each other 'ring-vali didi agaai!' (the sis with the hula hoops is here!), so i go to rishikesh and buy some tubing and connectors, and make them a hula hoop each. Actually We have a hoop maing session in our room, and akashi and shivum help put in the connectos, and tape em up. The boys are over the moon...... Me and jilly have good connecting times out here, just like when my friend mary came out to south india, we really have some quality time together to connect and chat and laugh and play, how I love the sisterhood! And then one morning, we are having breakfast, waiting for james' call to see when he will arrive, and I look across the river, and see a small, undoubtedly daddy shaped figue in the distance..james has arrived! akashi is very excited to see him, and shivum sits in hisd lap for breakfast, but is very shy after not seeing him for a while; so sweet! Within a few hours shivum is chatting away, re-telling all the stories of india to his daddy face to face, and both kids are blooming in the presence of their daddy! Akashi loves going off with Jilly, and I am informed one afternoon that akashi has a date with jiklly and my friend sarah for a manicure! There are many cows here, esp cute baby cows, and the cows in laxman jhula are very very chilled, amongst the most chilled in india. We are at a bookshop one time, lookinjg at the books outside, and someone comes up right next to me, and i turn to look, and it's a cow, just saying hi, just seeing what's going down; me and akashi laughed so much! Shivum and akashi love to feed the cows, and they have discovered that cows love leaves from the peepal tree the best (bodhi tree, like the one the buddha got enlightened under). So they collect peepal leaves to feed to cows, and also whenever we buy fruit, we also take some for the cows. Actually, the other morning, we got a papaya from the fruit wallah, who skliced it up for us, and fed the whole thing, slice by slice, to cows on the way home, literallly every cow we passed! Akashi was saving a piece in her hand for her favourite calf, who the kids say 'waits for us', which it does seem to do whenever we go out! But on the way home, a big cow sees the papaya slice in her hand, heads towards her, and she lets the big cow have it, somewhat unwillingly! Shivum will tug my chundri (scarf) and say 'look, my friend!', and I look, and he's pointing at one of the baby calves; they have made many animal friends here! There is also a dog who comes and sleeps in our guesthouse on the strairs, who I have called Rani, who we feed. the kids often go to the bottom of the steps and all the dogs from this area come and get fed by akashi and shivum, who i can hear talking to the dogs saying things like 'no, not for you, you keep eating lots, let him have some...!' Akashi has started playing chess as a result of us whiling away a lazy afternoon in a chillout cafe; she keeps 'making plans' in her head, and beating me; she had me in check mate the 2nd game she played (of course, i don't play my hardest, but she's pretty good with anticipating what your next move will be, and she carefully guards her king every time!)
On jilly's last night we go to little buddha cafe and entertain our friends by singing through our whole catalogue of songs, from bollywood classics (complete with dances, yeah me and jilly dancing mentally with each other in the middle of a restaurant!) to gangster's paradise. Dheeraj, one of the beautiful waiters, then puts on some tunes, and me and jilly just dance dance dance, much to the amusement of our friends!
SO......from Rishikesh we decide to head into the himalayas, cos the kids wanna experience snowy peaks cos we missed the snow in england, but also shivum says he will not leave india until he's seen a yak. Right. So up we head in a taxi we share with my freinds Sarah, beautiful open-hearted and wise canadian girl, and andrea, serene and warm german girl, plus me, james, the kids and the driver, in one car...lol! The roads are in a terrible state,with rocks all over th place, some places we cant drive faster than 5 miles an hour (which i'm glad about because there is some pretty steep falls over the side!) We set off in the afternoon, and by 2am, I worry that the crazy and animated 20 year old punjabi driver might be tired, and ask if he wants to stop to rest. he tells me that he didn't even sleep the night BEFORE, cos he was at a party, which makes me pretty damn worried! james, sitting in the front, keeps a close eye on him, and finally we stop and sleep for a few hours. What should have been a 14 hour journey ends up taking 26 due to stops and condition of roads, but it passes without a single complaint form the kids that it's taking too long; i think it really helps, to travel with others and change the dynamic, rather than just being me and them, as i has been, which has also been beautiful but now it's time for a change! So, we arrive in manali, and go up to vashisht, a small settlement up a bit from manali, where we can see snowy peaks and cedar forests. We spend an afternoon in the cedar forest, with kids climbing over the boulders, collecting himalayan quartz crystals, which are forming in the earth below, and making little houses for fairies out of stick, even with a cow shed for the fairies' tiny little cows (shivum's idea!). The peace in the forest is serene, up is a canopy of tall and dark green trees, and down all around is a carpet of reddish fallen pine-needles, with glittery rocks scattered here and there, whilst pairs of white butterflies flutter to and fro amongst the small himalayan violets that dot the earth....bliss! one day me and akashi arrive there to find james and shivum sitting silently by a small lake (or a big puddle!) surrounded by a troop of rhesus monkeys, the more i look, the more of them i see, everywhere! Shivum and james have been sitting quietly on a rock, watching the monkeys swing through the trees and jump into the water. The kids watch them in awe, and they come very close, and dont seem bothered by our presence; we watch the babies play, the mum's picking through the babies hair while the baby lies comfortably on a branch, watch them search for food amongst the leaves.....very much fun to see! The next day in vashisht, we meet with jilna's friend dave, who takes us out to some rocks, to have a day of climbing. Me and my friend andrea get ready to go, and have fun climbing a 5m rock, taking more and more difficult routes as we go up again and again. Akashi & shivum suprise me in that akashi goes straight up and comes down without any fear, and shivum decides that the rock is too big and he doesn't want to do it, but spends most of the morning going solo, climbing other rocks in the area. The area is beautiful, quite a steep and challenging walk up, and my friends comment on how well the kids manage to balance,and use their bodies to get themselves up by themselves. It was the same when we trekked up the mountains to some nearby waterfalls; shivum was insistent that he didnt hold anyone's hand(i had my heart in my mouth at times when we were on steep mountain ledges) but he managed to navigate himself really well! Both kids wanted to cross a little stream with stepping stones by themselves, and didnt fall in, but did get wet sloppy shoes and socks....!
So, from vashist, the kids leave to go to rishikesh, while i stay a bit longer in vashisht and have some chill out time, time to meditate when i want, go to the loo when i want, sleep when i want, wake up when i want (although i seem to have lost the skill of lying in until3pm since having kids, my body generally wakes me up at 8/9am....) I go down to rishikesh to meet james and kids after a few days, on a beautiful journey down through the himalayas, driving through valleys surrounded by huge green forested peaks, literally taking my breath away at one point, just fully being within the enormity of these huge beings, these huge mountains, with all their peace and wisdom. The bus journey, just on a local government bus, lasts 17 hours, and i manage to make sure no strange men sit next to me for the whole journey; travelling without the kids, I notice a change in how people respond to me; with kids you dont get so much hassle cos they assume you're married! The badboy driver on the journey makes things a little intense for me at times; speeding round blind corners beeping his horn(so that anyone speeding round from the other direction will hopefully hear us andf stop!), and also, overtaking a lorry, which is overtaking another lorry, with not much visibility ahead....madness! I just surrendered, and put my full trust in him that he doesn't want to die, so he will try his best not to crash......and prayed, to something, somewhere! So, i reach rishikesh at 5am, having had about 3 hrs on and off sleep, and meet up with kids for brekky, before they all go off to jaipur.
And now, I sit in rishikesh, tummy rumbling so i'm gonna go soon, had a late night; i promised the guys at yhe cafe where we were watching cricket that i would feed them all kheer if india won, and india did! so at 10.30pm last night i began to make kheer for them (and more importantly, for me!) I'm gonna head there now, and finish off ends of it; hopefully there is some left! Tomorrow I leave rishikesh to go to sattal, a beautiful jungly area just south of here, with freshwater lakes, birds, even leopards! I do a retreat there until 17th april...looking forward to some shatnti-ing for sure! Much loviiiiiiiiing to y'all x x x
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