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Published: December 10th 2007
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It's been really interesting watching the community that I'm living with. Yes.. they do appear from the outside to be living this carefree, simple, beautiful, sustainable lifestyle. BUT.. what I have noticed is, that the everyday toil of running a house, and looking after the children seems to have the same impact on 'relationships'. Strange eh? Or maybe not so strange :c/ And even though most of the cooking, cleaning, and farm work looks like it is done by the Indian workers, there is still tension between the couples. Hmm.. interesting. Maybe that's just the way it is, and it needs to be tolerated/accepted!?
It’s great to have the time to think and re-evaluate where I'm at, where I'm going, who I am, and what I am about. I think I've known for a while now though, but the feelings are just getting stronger & stronger.. and the vision more clearer. Discovering Permaculture was such a relief for me.. to have finally found something that rung true. An ethos for life.. and something that also explained why I had been so frustrated and un-happy for so many years living in a system that had no long (or short!) term benefits
to me or the people I care about. Suddenly everything made sense, and I realised that you don't have to be scared of the institutionalised bullshit we're herded into.
It's so inspiring here, seeing how it all works.. with the solar powers, water pump, food growing, and all the lovely animals all over the place. I love them.. cous cous the cow, the dogs chipper, soltan, tarnata, all the cats, and the horses. OK.. some of it requires a fair amount of work, but I'd much rather be working to live, not living to work.. if you know what I mean.
The weather here has been pretty full on at times though.. I’ve really caught the tail end of the monsoon season. It bloody won't stop raining! You’d think I’d be used to it being from the UK, but it’s the humidity.. it's really starting to get to me. Everything is constantly damp, and I feel like I'm moulding! :c( I've developed this strange itchy rash on my elbows, down my arms, and on my belly now too. Not nice. I figured it was a kind of thrushy type thing, so have got some herbal cream from the
Auroville pharmacy, and am eating lots of garlic.. Bonjour!! The fact that the capsule I’m staying in is really dark and damp (not fit for human living really) isn’t helping. Plus this morning I was woken up by a chipmunk pissing on my head (Oi.. stop laughing!) There's little animal poo's all over the top of my mosi net, and the smell of farm yard animals is starting to get to me. So yeah.. I'm not very happy with my 'space' at the moment. Can't believe they were wanting me to pay 250rs per night for it (if not more!) Not to mention offer all my energy, skills, time & knowledge for free. Hmm.. am I starting to sound a tad bitter? :c/ BUT.. I think the main problem is that I’m not emotionally happy at the mo. The body never lies, and a holistic approach to my rash would indicate that my body is out of balance.. possibly due to emotional stress and not expressing my feelings. I have past painful experience on this ;c)
So.. the ups and downs of traveling are becoming apparent eh? It’s not all lushness & sunshine yA kno ;c)
Things kind
of went from bad to worse.. that day (the chipmunk piss alarm clock day). My negativity just attracted more negativity, and I ended up having quite a traumatic experience towards the end of the day. I got a puncture whilst I was out shopping.. but whilst I was waiting for the shop to open a western woman pointed out that I shouldn’t be dressed the way I was, as some Indian men couldn’t handle it. Now.. I’ve done a fair bit of traveling.. through many Muslims areas etc. and have always taken care to adhere to what the ‘dress code’ is. But here in Auroville it’s extremely cosmopolitan (supposedly), and I’ve seen many woman dressed similarly to me. We had a great chat about the subject, and I pointed out that most Indian woman show their bellies, but that’s not something I’d be that comfortable doing on a day to day basis. We decided that it should come down to what a woman feels comfortable with. She told me to be careful though, cos a western woman had been stabbed and raped recently. Nice.
Anyway.. as per usual that evening, I was cycling back from the Solar Kitchen (it
had only just got dark btw), and I was followed by a man on a motorcycle. He drove right up along side me and followed me all the way through the EverGreen gates and into the community. I have to confess that even after living in Hackney (the crime capital of London ;c), I was shitting myself! I peddled as fast as I could into the community, but he continued to follow along side me. I assertively turned to him waving my hand and shouted ‘Go Away!’, and fortunately.. he did. Shook me up a bit though, and that night I found myself going over the traumatic memories of when I was attacked/punched round the face by a complete stranger in Paris. Not nice.
On the bright side, the guy who fixed my puncture didn't charge me, and he also gave me some information on the type of glue I needed to buy to fix the sole on my sandel (which is flappin about all over the place at the mo). Then.. the next day, I met this Indian guy (a friend of Natasha & Dave’s) who was staying just for one night only. I got chatting to him about Permaculture (of course ;c), and he started telling me about this book he's reading called 'The Secret'. Anyway.. I told him that I had the film on me, and that it had really effected me last time I watched it. I offered my laptop for him to watch it on, and he was very grateful. I got a good vibe from him.
It turns out that he lives in Bombay and runs a eco-farm/place just 2 hours outside of Bombay. He has offered to put Doug and I up for the night when we're in Bombay, or if we like/have time.. is happy to show us around his eco-place.. and also show us what 'real' village life is like. Him and his wife sound like they've had really interesting lives. They used to run and organic farm, and live off the land. They even set up a school on their land, as they're kids we're home taught, and they realised that their kids needed other kids to learn with, and keep them company. Nice. Anyway.. might be a good omen. Ah.. he also said that my rash was more likely to be my body detoxing from a change of diet.. maybe he's right.
Anyway.. I have a plan to solve my ‘un-happy space’ problem. I’m gonna try to move into the capsule above the communal kitchen area which is smaller but has better air flow, and doesn't smell damp. Plus having a couple of fellow human beings around might cheer me up. I hope so.
~~
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Talulah
non-member comment
rash?
Hi Cat! This was a while back but I just wanted to say that i did a massive de-tox a couple of years ago and i came out in a rash all over my neck/back/shoulders/belly. sounds quite similar. it was really uncomfortable but i was lucky in that i knew what it was so i just kept thinking of all the crap coming out of my system and found that after that i didn't mind it too much!! xxx