Advertisement
Published: March 11th 2015
Edit Blog Post
Once I had arrived again and spent a day alone in the office, It began to sink in how much has happen the past 4 years...
Peace Child was my first step into the world alone, my first adventure, the time when I first realised what was possible.
I think sometimes in England we lose what is possible and just do what is expected.
I'm not sure if by escaping every January, I am running away, recharging my battery’s or discovering something new, I guess its a mixture of all three.
Sometimes I wonder what it all means, deep I know but with the Ego and the voice inside our heads it so difficult to just be, be present be in the moment, I think sometimes when I’m lost in my thoughts, tight chested and anxious “Breath, let go and remind yourself that this moment you are living right now is the only one you know you have for sure” Sometimes it releases a little pressure,sometimes it make me smile, but honestly, I can remember the only time I’ve even completely been in the moment, it was here in India on the 11
th of February 2010, I
was in Kanukamuri, the southern tip off India, the meeting of three seas, the home Hindu's say of Devti the female spirit of Hinduism. I was sitting on a wall on the coast looking out to sea, unimportantly Matt was beside me... The wind was blowing on my face, its strength, wild and free... suddenly, somehow my mind complexity cleared all I could feel was my breath, then I began to cry, no emotion had cause the tears it was I think a trastion to letting go. That moment was by far the calmest most peaceful moment of my life.
Sometimes I think maybe I’m hedonist, constantly searching for a perfect; life, moment, partner, feeling, job, home, state of mind.
So after that first day of just being on Friday the ….. I returned to the boys home, the interns at the moment had organised a Christmas meal for them all, all together they our 70 boys in the home at the moment,I wasn’t sure if returning was a massively good idea, I mean my last experience had been a whirlwind of emotions, the treatment of the boys had been something I had really
struggled with but for some reason I hoped my boys were still there... for me maybe? I feel its because I was worried if they weren’t there where would they be... the boy I was hoping for the most was J avid, a shy undeveloped 13year old we had shared moments and story’s without words. As we approached the building a strange feeling overwhelmed me, fear I think.
That morning we made decorations, paper garlands, then at 1 o'clock the food arrived. The boys were made to stand in line as we organised the massive pots of chicken curry, rice, dal, chapit and sweets. Usually they would only eat dal so the chicken was a real treat for them.
After handing out the final plate I entered the room in which they were eating. Sat in lines they all wait until the last boy had sat down, then they chanted, maybe like a pray of thanks, it was such a beautiful moment, and sound. We sat and shared a plate of the food.
Straight after lunch we left and headed to Bern’s the director of peace child, it was a surreal experience a
difficult one to comprehend straight away, none of my boys were still they, a partly there is a new law that they need to be sent home or somewhere else before 3 months is up.
Advertisement
Tot: 0.19s; Tpl: 0.014s; cc: 9; qc: 46; dbt: 0.0562s; 1; m:domysql w:travelblog (10.17.0.13); sld: 1;
; mem: 1.1mb