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Published: August 26th 2008
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August 23, 2008 Mcleodganj/Dharamsala, Himachal Pradesh, India
Namaste,
Arrived in McLeodganj early in the morn after a 10 hr . all night ride from Manali. I happen to get the lucky seat on the bus whereby the window’s seal was completely shot so the monsoon rain through the night decided to find my seat and subsequently my clothes…it felt like it was raining in the bus. I couldn’t handle the wetness anymore so I headed to the front of the bus to the driver’s cabin and asked if I could sit there. The two drivers were more than happy to have company. The seats were long benches and it was so comfy; I could actually lie down for awhile and for the rest of the ride I got a front seat view of the beautiful, lush countryside. Again, I was surprised at the condition of this so called “highway,” which was nothing more than a narrow road of which is a mixture is ashphalt and gravel. I could not sleep as I am fascinated by the little towns and I find myself perpetually imagining daily life here. Despite being offered a cigarette every 1/2 hour, it wasn’t too hard
putting up with the driver’s smoking…they had the windows open. As usual, these two men asked me a barrage of questions. The same questions and comments arise with all the people I meet here and in this order: 1) Where are you from? 2) Oh you look Indian-then I explain my heritage 3) How old are you? 4) Are you married? 5) Why aren’t you married? 6) Are you getting married? 7) Do you have kids? 8) Do you work in Canada? So the conversations take on a cultural explanation of life in the west and the way things are as far as partners and relationships. Divorce is not so uncommon here anymore although it is still shunned upon of course. So if I explain I was common-law for many years, but not really married, and that my “partner” and I decided to go our separate ways, they nod in semi-understanding. I can see the wheels that turn in their heads and feel this disapproval and perplexity as to why life is so individually driven in the west. And what the heck is “common-law”? I don’t even go there. I question this also…very
much. By the confused and subtle disapproving looks, I am starting to feel like something is wrong with me, and from Indian standards, there is something definitely amiss. I have always known and felt this. I don’t seriously think there is anything “wrong” with me personally of course (although many people would disagree…lol) but, that there is something inherently wrong with the way the west insulates itself in “individuality.” Family ties, marriage, religion and community are how people here make sense of their world…this is their barometer. If you say you are not married, you live alone far from family, and you are over 30!, then people actually feel a sadness for you as well as an astonishment that one actually can afford financially to live alone. And I know why…this really is a sad thing…a sense of belonging is perceived to be missing, and something which I have deeply felt for a long time. One man asked me, “What happens if you get sick or need help,? Who do you count on?” I replied, “The state, hospital, family and friends hopefully.” He wasn’t convinced this was secure or more importantly loving enough of an option…my response had me reflect
more of what I have felt for a long time about the deficiency in western culture and the lack of sense of community and of course the breakdown of the family plaguing the west.
It’s so disappointing to see the Music Video channel on tv here and the way the videos emulate the shallowness and crassness of the west’s videos. The women are over-sexualized and are appearing in videos girating around men in skimpy outfits that is uncustomary of India. India’s women’s movement now battles more oppressive aspects than before. The slow yet great improvements in the status of women here now slides backwards with the west’s version of disempowerment entering the arena. The tv ads are the same as in the west with fantasy like scenes that breed consumerism. The false need for things is being pushed hard on this culture not unlike in Canada and the USA. The huge gulf between the affluent and poor here is astonishing. For example, the man who manages the guesthouse here makes 3000 rupees a month-that’s $75 and many ads on TV are for goods and services for a lifestyle that is completely out of reach for such a wage. The
most heartwrenching consequence is that these spiritually rich communities now, through western media influence, compare themselves to the west materially. This has vast psychological implications for the young people here who have started to feel “poor” and as a result lowered self-image, and self-esteem have creeped into the psyche where it wasn’t before. The secularized individualistic values and materialistic lifestyles being portrayed in the western style media can have very tragic, and devastating results for this amazing subcontinent. The most sickening thing I read in an Indian paper the other day was that Rupert Murdoch, the media mogul, plans to launch 6 new television channels in India by December…! I have confidence that the people of India have the wisdom to retain their deep inner knowing and not to be enticed by such external stimuli the west offers. Most people I speak with here know the dangers of being so externally driven…but given some of the daily struggles here, the temptation to have an over- attachment to material goods and sense stimuli can be a challenge to combat. The monks who wander the street here are an inspiration to the whole of India and remind everyone of what truly is important- kindness, compassion and self-awareness.
Leila
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