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Published: November 15th 2011
sing us a song
ehhhh not that oneGood thing that we didn't need to get up until later for the symphony of lights cause we didn’t. It was a lazy day in Hong Kong for us as we found out no one really gets up until midday and does not go to sleep until 6.00 in the morning so it was perfect for us. D got all dressed up she looked AMAZING but then again she even looks good in a bin bag and trusts me I know. I felt a bit under dressed so I went up the street found a H&M went in saw a black shirt bought it (I hate shopping) Once we were ready we jump onto the MTR and by this time we knew which way to go, looks at us learning.
We got off and D’s high heels were killing her so I ditched her ran ahead and found out were we needed to be at, number 3 down at the pier cool so ran back got D and waited, a nice older couple took a photo us while we waited D was chatting away to the man and I was talking to the woman who looked dead like the queen. They
waiting for the mic
very very drunk by this point never started travelling until they were in their 40’s now 70 so you can imagine the convo. The boat came up and we were first to board.
It felt like I can imagine how it seemed to those people that boarded the titanic. We went right up to the top deck and straight to the front the water seemed fine and before we knew it everyone was on the boat, I went right up to the bar as it was free drink and asked for a white wine and lemonade for my good lady and a vorka and coke for myself, the guy behind the bar noticed from my accent that I was Scottish and poured me a ¾ glass of the good stuff, put it this way after my second glass I was pished. The host of the boat gave us the down low of what the symphony of lights was all about and bla bla bla… I didn’t really get to hear much as by this time I had the camera off D and was trying to delete the photos off the camera as after our first photo it came up with memory full. I did hear that
enjecting smack
right into your mouth it was going to last for about 15 minutes, one minute to 8.00pm when the show starts every night, it’s getting closer, 8.00pm and all the lights started to come on there was some background music in the back ground of the boat like a Chinese kind of tune, all in all it was shit, well not bad its certainly ticked off the bucket list, I think we had built it up in our heads to be something it was not after that went down a storm we decided to take some photo’s.
Over beside us there was another couple who were doing the same thing, I asked them if they wanted me to take a photo of them so the famous half arm couple shot was out the picture, they accepted and D being D shouted over “now a funny one”. They done the same for us and again after our nice one came the funny one, we went in for some more drinks as it was getting kind of cold out on the deck and after good old chins wag the boat ride was over, would I recommend the symphony of lights, yes I would as if we
Yassss
that's how we do it in Scotland never went on it we would have not become friends with Christian and Sinzia.
Christian was 40 and from L.A, he looked about 30 if he was lucky which he is the bastard, he is a hairstylist who was taking time off his busy schedule to come to Hong Kong on holiday with Sinzia who is a fashion designer for a well-respected company which involves her coming for on business 4 to 5 times a year, they both were really lovely or as Sinzia put it a younger version of them.
We came off the boat and before we knew it we were invited to dinner on Christian being hungry we accepted, we all jumped in a taxi and headed toward Hong Kong Island and we went to this lovely little place because of the trip in the taxi we all needed the toilet we got handed a key attached to a 2 by 4 and told down the hall why anyone would run away with a key in the first place is beyond me, In fact it made me want to try and steal it even more, I didn’t.
After our food and a drink there we warmed up
our vocal chords and headed to sing karaoke and meet up with the rest of Sinzia’s friends the thing about Hong Kong karaoke is that you’re not like back home in the one big room everyone laughing at each other you are stuck in a small room with just the people you came with which is ok as you get more chances to have a sing song but then it’s only the people that you came with so ditching some was out of the window, looking back on it I don’t even think the room had a window.
Many drinks later and I’m a Barbie girl we decided to call it a night I think 4.00am was a decent time to have been out till, we all jumped in a taxi as they were along the way and before we knew it we were at hotel MK.
OMG… one eye open and feeling a bit tender we had to get up cause we were due at hotel novotel to be picked up for our big Buddha tour at 8.05am I think when I checked the time it was 7.00am the place apparently is only a 12 minute walk from our
and this is her song
always a great sing song from D hotel, we ran out the hotel with no clue if it was right or left we needed to go “we better not miss this, let’s go right” we started to run and panic, “excuse me, do you know where hotel novotel is” a weird noise and a hand gesture, that’s all need no one speaking any Scottish.
“What time is it?” “5 too” AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW……………… “Were the fuck is this place”
Found it we were told to stand out the hotel and we would be picked up by bus at 5 past 8. 10 past 8 and I was freaking out giving it see if no one comes it will be big trouble in little china I tell you and as the last word came out my mouth pickatu came running from a bus “Michael son” yes that’s us. The bus ride was nice enough and it took us to the pier again for a ferry that lasted 1 hours sailing. I felt a bit sick so good thing they provided sick bags, thankfully this was not needed.
We arrived on the island which every person owned there on bicycle which I found rather impressive. From there we jumped
next morning
kid on we are fine on another bus and this is where the tour started, our tour guides name was John wean. He was rather sarcastic which was funny he took us to the beach which had a bathroom which John told us to take as the next one in the fishing village stank of fish funnily enough. We were asked if we wanted to go onto a boat ride offered free from one of John’s friends Ralph, we accepted and we were off down the lake, this is when it really hut home of the way that some people lived, no TV, no telephone, nothing there houses made out of anything they can find held up by bits of wood, some of these you could see had fallen apart, it was rather sad to think that in about 30 years’ time this place would be no more as the younger generation want TV, telephones etc. so were all leaving it to go onto Hong Kong which left the older generation set in their ways and once they go so does the fishing village. A couple of boats passed with the local kids all laughing at my white skin, they found me funny for some
how nice
Cinzia and Christian reason.
You are taken down the main street which is full of the locals with their outside stores selling things from fish to stuff they have made, I bought a couple of things for presents so can’t say what our who, don’t want be giving the surprise away, I can see you all now reading this thinking, wonder if it’s for me Michaels a really nice guy that way just buying you something out of the blue like that, I wonder what it is.
From there we went down the hill and went to see the big man himself Buddha, now this is what I came here for. This was breath taking; I mean it’s made out of bronze weighing 250. John wean was telling us the history of the religions and also the story of Buddha himself how he was a price and future king married with one child and thought to himself, who am I, why am I here and went to find himself and the rest is history. D quick to reply to me “he isn’t all that nice just ditching his wife and kid like that, who does that” you got to love her. We got
Cinzia ragging
No rock on this taken into the belly of the Buddha and there were no cameras aloud so this stuff was amazing to think that there is only one way to see these things and it’s to go, no other way. I am not going to describe anything as it is something you need to see for yourself. After taking more photo’s like the one it looks like I’m giving him a high 5 we went to the temple which again is great we were cooked a vegie meal by the monks which tasted well better than that quorne shit that our Sean eats, I mean I would be happy to eat this stuff every day, D was looking like she was enjoying it too she wanted to explore so more so we left what I didn’t know was she meant she wanted a subway. After her getting her meat fix we made our way up to the cable car this is when your taken on a 25min tour over the mountains which would normally take about hours to walk. I felt flush so right at the last min we upgraded to the crystal car which has a glass bottom and usually there
thank Buhdda
lucky I didn't need to use this are about 10 people to each one, we not only got to skip the queue but as everyone else were cheap skates on the tour we had the full car to ourselves.
“I can’t stand up what if it breaks these things happen” D is always like this I managed to get her standing in the middle and when she was dead center I jumped, she shit herself “DON’T” you think she would know me by now so I jumped again and laughed my ass off at her face. 25 minutes later we were back at the Airport our first destination on Hong Kong.
This was the best time I have had on our trip so far. In fact I am thinking about shaving my head, I look great in orange and becoming a vegie ha ha ha that will be right everyone knows orange is sooooooooo 2003.
After we got back to the hotel room we went for a nap as you can do that sort of thing when you’re not worrying about having to get up for work or anything, once we woke up we Skyped the family and told them that we were still safe and there
awwww
down at the beach was nothing to worry about. D wanted to go down to the market so we got changed and headed down, this was so funny as it was like the Barra’s times 10 everyone trying to get you to buy everything “500 hundrad Hong Kong dollar, ok 400” no thank you “ ok, ok good sir 250 ehhh” we went through the stalls and there was everything most of them looked like they didn’t want to be there in fact the only ones that had a smile on their faces were the ones selling all the sex toys. I know again your thinking wonder if he bought me anything, ha you will just have to wait and see.
BED TIME.
Alarm set with heading, get up if you want we slept in rather late, we planned in going back to see Roy in the pizza place as I left his information he gave me somewhere, we got dressed up and set off to the Mtr. We arrived and everyone was looking ready for a night on the town even the beggars were no were to be seen I said to D “they must have collected enough money during the week
to go out for at the weekend, genius” we went back to the shamrock and got a bottle of white, the guy behind the till was like you know they sell buckfast here? NO FUCKING WAY, yeah only kidding I could tell from your accent. Shame would have reminded me of the old day’s.
After the bottle of white and feeling a bit tipsy I wanted a shot I started talking to some guys that are in the navy just stopping over and they advised me to get a cowboy cock sucking blowjob a.k.a brokeback mountain. The staff gave two over to the table and set them alight, being a bit tipsy I tipped the shot over a bit tried to catch it saved some in the shot glass but when looking at the table on fire noticed my fingers burning as well, I was confussed to the point saying in my head what to do first?
Drink the shot
Put out the fire on fingers
Or the obvious I can’t afford to buy them a new table so it went table, fingers then shot I would later regret this. We felt a bit hunger so over to the best
loving this pic
just before we set off to the fishing village Pizza and hotwings in town, as soon as we went through the door Roy was like Michael you came back.
“sorry mate forgot to take your details” “I know you left them here I was heart broken” after getting something to eat and meeting Roy’s wife who was very nice up until she said I look 33 (bitch) I was like hahaha no 26, both actually stepped back and no spoke but shouted NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooooo way.
I was rather upset until Roy made me feel better and gave me a beer, after some chit chat he asked why we were not in main nightclub/pub part of town, so we jumped back onto the Mtr and before we knew it we were there.
OMG run down as most of it a blur, ready.
Shouting, dancing in the street, Getting beer bong, getting shot, raving with locals, getting shot, going into one pub, dancing with none locals, getting shot, taking the piss out of past out guy, getting shot, dance off with hip hop guy, getting shot, raving with more locals, shot, dance of with he she, shot, meeting Scottish girl, 2 shots, more raving, more shots, getting something to eat, jelly shot,
BIG HEED
Not one hat fits me Blllllluuuuuurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr, taxi, home.
“that was (hiccup) the best (hiccup) night (burp) EVER”
DOOMS DAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!! My fucking head” now I have been told that I might exaggerate a bit well I tell you now no word of a lie, I was slowly but surely dying, the air con was left on I hut the sweats and it made my head go into brain freeze, my finger was out like a blown (remember, should have been finger, shot then table) up, down OMG I’m going to be… spew, up, down, spew, I hate being sick, the D wakes up “what you doing go back to bed”, crying a bit by this point “I don’t know if I want to be sick or shit myself” I tell you it was both it got to the point I was reenacting the scene out of Ace Ventura pet detective when he relies that he slept with a man and was in the shower crying and rubbing himself down like a whore while listening the crying game tune was playing in the back ground, the only difference was it is a wet room and I sat on the toilet while the water smacked of
Hard core
Ralphs boat my head and back. By this time D was up fresh as a button and like we need to leave in an hour Michael, I was in bed dripping from the shower begging her to pay extra so we could stay, I had about 3 hours sleep if I was lucky and our flight was not till 9pm, checkout 12. Being the caring person D is she laughed and was like naw. I ended up going to KFC watching D eat and it was the hottest day so far in Hong Kong. We walked about until I could walk no more, thank fuck we could leave our bags at reception in the hotel for no extra cost, we found a local park with some benches and I Sat there now let me paint you a picture.
Looking like a comedown smack head holding a umbrella on a bench with my scarf firstly wrapped round my head to knock out the noise then transferred it to my umbrella to block out the light with nothing but the noise of Hong Kong and D laughing her ass off, I mean she nearly fell off her seat laughing while the one she loved
Taxi
by boat well you could swim sat dying. After a while I was like fuck it lets go to the airport don’t care if we are 5 hours early. This must have been the worst day of my life ever!!!!!!!!
Sitting at the airport, 5 hour to flight time, still dying.
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