The Best and the Worst: #1's

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All the time I've lived in China, people always ask me what I like best and what I don't like. It's a hard question to answer. Frequently, my answer changes. Now that I'm leaving, people ask what I will and won't miss. While similar in nature to the other question, the tone of this one makes it easier to answer. Everywhere I've lived and traveled has had its pluses and minuses, and each of these is a personal preference, usually based off of my own experiences. After much thought, I've decided to tackle this in five entries.

I've been here five years, so five of each seems right. I would like to point out that none of these is meant as a criticism of China or a, "China is better than everywhere else!" statement. After five years here, I know there's still quite a bit I don't understand and probably never will. It's impossible to form a full opinion or judgement for 1.3 billion people, and I wouldn't venture to try. I wouldn't dare--I'm only one person. These are just my opinions, formed both through my personal experiences and how I'm feeling right now.

I'd be lying if I said that leaving China isn't an emotional experience. It's been my home for five years. Part of me will always feel like this is home. But it's time for the next thing.

So here's what I won't miss and what I will miss, The #1's:



Illiteracy

Yes, I am a university graduate. Yes, I can clearly read and write. And yes, I've even studied Chinese for a few years. But none of that can prepare you for not being able to read over 90%!o(MISSING)f what you see on a daily basis. Nor can it prepare you for the feelings that will come with your new-found illiteracy.

Don't get me wrong, China's done quite a bit to make it easier for foreigners. Important signs, maps, and ATMs have both Chinese and English/Chinglish on them. Most of the time they're quite effective. Often, large supermarkets and malls have both languages to help us navigate our way. Street signs usually have both the hanzi (Chinese characters) and the pinying (the romanized version of the characters). Even directionals are often marked with a N, S, E, or W. Many people in public jobs (police, banks, etc) even speak a little English.

But that's where it ends.

Imagine you're hungry. You walk down the street and while you see shop after shop, you can't tell which ones are restaurants or not until you look in the windows, your nose pressed against the glass. And then, you still can't tell if they're serving snacks, random meats, or just drinks. Don't even think of trying to read the menu; my friends and I agree that they could offer full courses just on the vocabulary and phrasing associated with food. Even if you can tell that it says "Five Friends Harmonious Delight," you have no idea what those friends are or why it's harmonious or delightful. Sometimes you don't want to. You end up eating something from the street that looks safe and hope you don't get sick. At least with street food you can just point and smile.

After your dining adventure, it's time to stop and buy a few toiletries. As it always happens, you've run out of shampoo, conditioner, and body wash at the same time. You know you can't read the labels. You're not even sure if what's in the bottle is for hair, skin, or something else. You know you must avoid anything with the character for "white" or you'll end up with a burning sensation in your nose while you shower. (That happened to a friend of mine.) But you're clever; you have photos of all the old bottles that are sitting upside down on your bathroom window sill. Except that in the 6 months since you bought all of these things, the company has redesigned ALL of their packaging. You leave with a basket full of bottles of thick liquids that smell good and hopefully clean.

Toilet paper, tissues, and other household goods also meet these crazy criteria. Toby once went to the store for me when I was sick. I'd asked him to pick up extra tissues for my poor nose. Toby speaks better Chinese than I do. When he delivered the goods he told me he got "the pinkest tissues they had." "The pinkest?" I asked, confused. "I figured pink would mean soft." Of course, when every pack is a variation of pink, mauve, peach, or watermelon red, it's hard to be sure.

It's time to make a not-quick stop in the laundry soap aisle. There are at least five brands. All of them offer at least 10 varieties. And each one has a sales rep ready to swoop down and "assist" you while you try to find the same product you've purchased for the past few years. Your walk from one end to the other, your entourage on your heels. When you make a selection on your own (sometimes a desperate attempt to get away), they look disappointed.

Now, if you're a woman, there's an aisle that you need to visit once every few months. Both sides of the aisle are filled with colorful, plastic square packages. They're all the same size. Many of them are covered in cartoon hearts, flowers, and smiling eye-less faces. And again, the packaging has changed since you were last here. There's a spot for the 3 boxes of OB tampons the store normally carries, but now it's just a wide, gaping hole laughing at you and your western ways.
So you must stand in the middle of the aisle for what feels like an eternity comparing two dimensional, two-tone pictures that are the size of your pinky nail in hopes of discovering whether it's long, short, thong, heavy day, light day, always Monday, or another option. Even if you have studied your Chinese religiously there's a good chance you haven't committed these characters to memory. You learn to shop far away from home.

I realize that a lot of this seems like I'm quibbling over little things. Sure, it's just shampoo and soap. But when you have annoyances like this every week, they start to get to you.

Even more frustrating is when you need to get something done. I've mastered the post office, though I still have no idea what the sign "Mailing the Press Subscription" means. I just know that's the line they point me to. Pharmacy? It's amazing what I can act out. Bank? Most of the time I just go to the ATM or point at the Western Union sign outside so the guard will push the button for the ticket-line machine. Toilet? While many signs are of a man and woman or the letters WC, not all are. Luckily, that's one set of characters I can read.

But if there's something wrong with my internet, mobile phone, I need to find a place, or I'm sick? I need to send a package? I want a dry cleaner? How about a massage, haircut, or pedicure? Often, I can't do it alone. I sometimes find myself evaluating how badly I want something if I know it will require the help of someone else, perhaps for hours. And there's something just frustrating and defeating in knowing that after living here for five years I'm still helpless and unable to get things done. It's not that I could figure it out if I took the time to, it's that I can't because I'm illiterate.

I'm fortunate enough that the members of the speech team are gracious and like to be helpful. (It also gives them a chance to practice their English.) At my school in Shenzhen I could always find someone to help me if it was important. Without their kindness, I can't begin to imagine how my life would have been different.



Genuine Kindness

Everyday I interact with people here. While I am surrounded by foreigners, most are not. I've heard plenty of grumbling over the years about Chinese people, and admit I did it a little myself. But at the end of the day, I have nothing but good feelings about Chinese people. Yes, there are things that drive me crazy, but it's not like they're acting a certain way to irritate me on purpose. Without a doubt, most of them are kind, friendly, and want to be helpful. I do find that giving them a big smile tends to help.

Somedays I can't find what I'm looking for and I'll try to explain in my bad Chinese with gestures what it is. And they'll do their best to help me. We'll play guessing games. We'll pull out dictionaries. Sometimes, they'll even take me by the hand and lead me to it. They'll try to understand why I'm confused or upset (even though sometimes it's cultural). When I thank them, I'm never sure who's more excited, me or them.

Over the years, outsiders have not always been kind to China or her people. As a result, there are still some who don't welcome us. I don't blame them, but do feel it's too bad they're not willing to at least give me a try as a person. But most people here are welcoming and friendly and curious about me and where I'm from and what I do. While we have many things in common, our lives have been vastly different. I've had some great conversations with people about our lives and cultures and learned more from them that I could in any book or on the internet. I hope with time there will be fewer language and cultural barriers and we'll be able to do this more easily and on a larger scale.

Because, trust me, the warmth and kindness of the Chinese is worth getting to know.

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Photos

I just wanted to buy soy sauce.
Maybe I should just steal a few extra packets from the take-away sushi place.

I love trying local snacks!
But I have no idea what any of these things are. And some of them look scary.

As if spending time on this aisle wasn't fun enough...
Now I need to stay here twice as long really reading the packages. And hoping my students don't see me.

Okay, I know what brand I want...
But they all look the same. I really hope I don't end up with green tea flavor or something.

Laundry soap choices
This is only half of them. Soon, three women who work here will descend upon me to try and help. None of them will speak any English, nor recognize the look of terror in my eyes.

I know I want Tide...
But I want no bleach. And no flowery scent. Does this have fabric softener in it?

I hate buying body wash.
Which one doesn't whiten my skin? I can't tell by the smell.

Is this shampoo or conditioner?
I think last time I bought a green bottle with orange writing. Maybe.

I mail letters at this window.
But I still have no idea what the sign means.

Added bonus
You get to paste the stamps (and your fingers) to the envelopes.

Comments

[Anastasia78]

This is hilarious!
Great photo! Made my morning :)

[D MJ Binkley]

China has had an impact
Love these summary blogs. Great stuff. Looking forward to Bangkok.

[Home and Away]

Spot on...
but not much different for a man trying to buy shampoo, etc in the States. I saw a pie chart recently for the factors that women use to select a shampoo...just like you said above...a dozen different factors. The man's pie chart showed one color...that the bottle said shampoo. Anyway, I also had problems away from the tourist towns to identify restaurants from the street. We are so used to marketing where branding is prominently displayed. Not so in most of China. As for food, I usually looked at what others were eating, and if it looked good, I said I'll have some of that. Of course, looking good and tasting good can be very different. And my son got sick for several days, ending up in the hospital and I only threw up. As for the positive...I agree that the Chinese that I met on a personal basis were "genuinely kind." Amazingly helpful and friendly, and willing to take the time to converse in sign language, in my case.

[Wei Da]

It means: Handling (normal)posts, EMS emergency posts, Newspapers/Magazines(i.e. "the press" aka "news press" hence "newspapers", "mags", etc. well, use your imagination... :Sigh: God knows what 1-dimentionally conservative English vocabs could have become without glorious and vigorous Chinese input whenever possible) subscription service. BINGO! ^-^

[sunketing]

The mystery is solved!
Thank you! It's been driving me crazy for five years!