celebrating, studying and sharing best practices in Shanghai

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Over the weekend, we hosted our friends for brunch which I lovingly prepared in my teeny kitchen. I made muffins and two types of pancakes to go with the fruit salad and bacon I also prepared. I had flashbacks to my first brunch with Mark in our first apartment together. Similar sized kitchen. The chocolate chip pancakes were a big hit with the kids and adults. I showed Joanna my snack closet--all the food the kids and I brought back from our two week trip home this summer. She was shocked and amazed that we managed to bring that much back with us. To explain why I bothered--one box of Velveeta shells and cheese (don't write in about how gross that is because I already know but the kids like it) costs $6 here. A case of 5 boxes cost about $6 at home.

The rest of the weekend I spent much of my time escorting Emily to two birthday parties. I stayed at both and chatted with some other parents at one and helped with the party at the other. It’s a little hard without a car to do the drop off thing. I take taxis to these parties and then I have a three hour window to fill. So most of the time I end up being the uninvited but highly appreciated extra set of hands. Or as was the case on Saturday, I hung out on a deck with another mom and chatted the entire time. Not so bad!

Mark and I celebrated our fourteenth wedding anniversary this weekend. The big day is actually tomorrow, September 3, but we will be at the parents’ open house at school tomorrow evening. We started the evening off with drinks in People’s Park at one of favorite spots, Barbarossa. We sat outside and enjoyed some peace after a busy Saturday. Then we went to the French Concession for Yunnan food at a place called Lost Heaven, which was great. It was accurately described in reviews I read as being a cross between Thai, Vietnamese and Sichuan (spicier Chinese). I really liked it and hope to go back soon to try more of the food.

I am back at school and I’m learning and all that but there is nobody else in my class and that is way less fun. I actually brought a new neighbor of mine to the same school and she is having a great time. Her class has other students in it. Mine, not so much. And while I appreciate the fact that I’m probably learning more and learning more quickly based on my current level and having a custom made class…I want classmates. Part of the fun of going to language school is meeting people from all over the world who are also interested in learning Chinese. I met my dear friend, Lisa from Sweden last year at language class. Oh and I have to do my homework. Do you know how awkward it is to be the only student and not have your homework done? Well I don’t want to find out! So I do my homework every day. Oh and one more thing. I have to study a lot. Because I look like a huge dork if I am not remembering things I was told the previous day. How many times can this poor teacher tell me how to say “summer” or “sometimes” . While the lessons are much better than my first school, they are still based on themes, and today’s theme was getting a haircut. This was actually quite useful and next time I go I can use my new vocab to ask for a haircut. I won’t ever need to ask for a “perm”. But if you want to get a perm in China, call me up!

The fun thing about being a more experienced expat is I can help other people. This morning I told the bus ayi (helper) that this other mom, who is from Finland, may not always be at the bus and it’s okay for her kids to go home on their own . Of course I did this in Suze-andarin, my personal version of Mandarin. Lots of starts and stops and I even had a cheat sheet with words I didn’t know on it. But I did it. Something I could not do a year ago to be sure. I also feel like I’m fluent when I hang out with beginners. I know so much more than they do! I can get home without a taxi card AND I can usually have conversations with my taxi drivers. I am full of advice and tips and tricks for anyone interested.

It’s one of those things where my enthusiasm to help others avoid the struggle is so great I hope I don’t sound cocky or obnoxious in my attempts to give advice and suggestions. I am just so sensitive to how difficult the transition to life in Shanghai can be for first time expats like my family. I meet many families for whom adjusting to life in a new country is their normal. But for those of us who are novices, having help with the transition can make it a much better experience.

I have started the year feeling like I am more socially connected. My network is a bit larger this year. I’m volunteering for some events at the school and I am now a Brownie troop leader. Emily asked that she not be in my group. I was a little sad but also proud of her decision to be more independent. Plus, I know how she is with other moms and I know her behavior will be much better if she is not in my group! I have very limited experience to offer the troop: I was a Brownie for a year when I was seven. End of relevant experience. But, it should be okay since my co-leaders are pros. I was asked to be a leader by some of the current leaders and while at first I wasn’t sure, I realized I should go for it and take advantage of the fact that I have the time to volunteer for such things. Maybe I will love it so much I will continue this when we move home.

While I previously reported Nathan was starting soccer and Emily tennis, it seems we’ve had a scheduling change. Nathan and Emily are both now doing Kung Fu after school for their “sport” requirement. Mark and I told the kids they need to pick a sport/physical activity. I agreed to the changes since I haven’t paid yet! I think Kung Fu is a great choice considering we are in China. That starts next week, along with Emily’s arts and crafts class so the schedule continues to fill up at the Slaven home.

The weather is still not great but we’ve been having some periods of cooler weather. It’s refreshing to have a cool breeze, even if irregularly, and not just the humid waves of heat that consumed our Shanghai summer.

That’s all I got. Thanks for reading my ramblings.

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Photos

The girls only table
Emily set the table with flowers, name cards. Too cute.

the snack shelves
I try not to go in here.

Men work off pancakes
don't all brunches end with kid lifting exercises?

totally unrelated but interesting
this is a shot of all the street vendors after they were given the "cops in the area" warning. They are waiting in front of my building for the "all clear" signal.

Comments

[Linda]

boxes
Love the photo of the snack closet. How did you ever do this...bring all these snacks IN THEIR BOXES in your luggage? I'm thinking that the packaging must be part of their allure. Emily's face says it all. Obviously worth it.

[Arlene]

Happy anniversary!
Ours was yesterday and we spent it doing kid stuff too! Hope the kids enjoy Kung Fu - mine are both doing tae kwon do and they love it.