China Part 2: The Beijing Blues

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Shanghai merely scratched the surface of China for me along my travels. I feel that one week in China shortchanges this most ancient of civilizations far more than I can even imagine. For all my efforts though, I feel as though I was at least allowed a sample of the heritage and culture that China has to offer. Traveling to the capital city of Beijing provided a glimpse of the Communist lifestyle taken on here, as well as the historic importance that China provides to the rest of the world. The sights, sounds, odor, and, most importantly, feel of Beijing left an impression on me that I will not soon forget…even if I tried to.

Where the Streets Have No Name

Upon stepping off of the aircraft and into the midnight air of Beijing City, I immediately came to the realization that all those environmental journalists and reporters were not lying when they told us China had a serious pollution issue. An obvious grey haze blanketed the tarmac accompanied by a pungent odor that smelled of stale air and diesel fuel. On top of that, the heat was unbearable… even at 12:00am! I thought the humidity in Korea was bad, but here in Beijing, it was far worse as I immediately began sweating once I stepped off the plane.

We all gathered our luggage and tried to figure out how exactly we were going to get into the city and our hostel. Thankfully, after some effort we were able to somewhat communicate our plight to an attendant and he directed us to the correct bus. We hopped onto the bus, waited for about an hour to leave, and were off into the center of Beijing.

The first thing I really noticed about the Beijing skyline was that it was not all that impressive. After marveling at the massive skyscrapers and beautiful architecture in Shanghai, one would expect to see the capital city at least comparable in appearance. However, upon first glance there was very little luster to Beijing; it just looked like any other city. There were no tall buildings or grand palaces poking up from the skyline, it was all just sort of plain. I figured that this was possibly just the part of town we were in and expected I would see better at a later time.

The bus dropped us off in No Man’s Land, China zip code: 911. With high expectations that we would be dropped right in front of our hostel onto a red carpet with paparazzi and annoying E reporters all over our backs (“Thank you Miss Rivers but I really must be getting on to my pre-hostel party”)… alas we were dropped into a scene straight out of a horror movie. There was little to no English anywhere and the few people who were out on the street were shirtless, locked and loaded with bean bag sized beer guts, and sitting on lawn chairs in the middle of the sidewalk. It was like being in West Virginia! The horror!

The streets were dirty and poorly lit and I was certain that this was the end of the road for me. I mean, it would have been nice if at least one store left a damn light on so there was a hint of civilization present. I mean, this isn’t a set from “I am Legend” is it? And if so, where is my fully loaded 2009 Shelby Mustang??

After looking over a map my brother brought along in his infinite wisdom, we located our hostel and made the trek across the concrete desert. Tensions ran high on that hot and humid night as one by one; we began to turn on one another. At that point in the trip I can tell you one thing for sure: nobody was having fun and we all were kind of wishing China would just go away, as well as each other. If it weren’t for years of practice dealing with my pitted rage, I may have gone Kung-Fu all over the crew.

Finally, we found our hostel about a mile away, checked in without looking around too much, and passed out in the magnificent air conditioned rooms. The first night may not have been ideal, but at least we were safe and sound and had set up a permanent command center to base the rest of our operations from.

Might as Well be Walking on the Sun

The next day, we made haste leaving our home base to get out and see some of the city. Our first stop seemed the most obvious for any first time visitor to Beijing: Tiananmen Square. Steeped in a rich historical context, millions of visitors from the world over come to this landmark each year. To this day it is the largest city square in the world at 4000 square meters. The name “Tiananmen” comes from the gateway to the Forbidden City literally translated to “Gate of Heavenly Peace.” It was originally the primary seat of administrative governmental affairs during the ancient Chinese dynasties, but these buildings were demolished with the rise of Mao Zedong in China. Instead, Chairman Mao decided to model this wide area after Moscow’s “Red Square.” The most famous scene most people remember comes from the 1989 anti-governmental protests in which a student came out into the square to block a PLA tank from its advances. Upon exiting the cab and entering the square, this was also the first thing that came to mind for me.

The second item that came to mind for me was “dear God it’s the surface of the sun here!” The heat was unbearable as we lifted cameras with heavy hands to snap photos of the two main gates at either end of the massive plaza. We walked around a bit before being herded in by an English speaking Chinaman… “Holy Cow! It’s Jackie Chan!!” I thought. I did a quick roundhouse kick to test my jujitsu on the martial arts legend and awaited his counterstrike. As my foot connected with his bulging mid-section he gasped for air while doubling over from the shock and awe strategy I presented him. After cursing me in some mandarin rabble rabble… he moved on. Guess it wasn’t Mr. Chan (okay that didn’t happen but did I mention how hot it was! I was delirious so give me a break).

The real man who approached us convinced us to pay a nominal fee of $10 USD to walk up one of the gates and see an art exhibition. We agreed and decided at the very least, we would be able to get a few good pictures of the plaza. While looking around at the art, my colleagues and I came to the conclusion that it was not at all very good. In fact, the whole display looked very rushed together and sketchy all around. A young lady began following Marc asking him questions and practicing her English on him. Like the true contra he is, he led her over to me and exited stage right so I would be the one taking grenades down in the trenches. So much for being a band of brother’s you selfish twerp!

For the next 10 minutes as I tried to read a few of the historical facts in the gate, the pestering China doll would not stop talking. I’m a pretty friendly guy but, enough became enough so I just full on stopped answering her. She just kept on going and going and going! I guess this is how my parents must have felt when I was learning to talk (apparently I never shut up); paybacks a bitch as they say. My next move was flawless in its execution. I located Zach and walked up to him nonchalantly as if to make casual, intellectual conversation. He smiled, replied to a few of my questions without any knowledge of my mounting attack, and I fired at will, “Hey Egg Roll (I didn’t know her name), my friend Zach was just asking about this… bamboo picture frame. You should tell him about it.” The puzzle on Zach’s face sometimes makes me laugh to this day. I suppose it’s exactly how Custer felt after realizing he was ambushed by a horde of ravenous Native Americans. I pushed the two together and ran for the hills. For the next 20 minutes, Marc, my brother, and I all avoided a potential second onslaught by Egg Roll. Sadly, we had to leave a man down in the process, but at least we avoided pestering as we moved from floor to floor avoiding the two. We aren’t very nice people sometimes.

It turned out, Egg Roll (wow I feel like I am loosing a piece of my soul calling this girl by this name over and over… but I can’t help it) asked Zach to one day return to China and marry him. Wow, we had only been in Beijing a few hours and already there was a wedding date all set; it really is the city of timeless romance… or was it timeless authoritarian control and minority oppression… I just can’t remember these days.

Walking around the square one specific item clearly stands out: there are guard posts everywhere. A constant reminder to the nature of the Communist regime in China, even entering or exiting a “public” plaza requires people to go through metal detectors and conveyer belts (for their bags at least… they don’t actually put people on conveyer belts… but wouldn’t that be hysterical!). The heat was unbearable and I had completely sweat through my Abercrombie shirt, so we made quick to find a cab.

Of all the problems that arose in Beijing, by far the number one issue is locating a cab to pick up the non-Asian. Its discrimination I tell you! It’s hard enough finding a section of sidewalk that doesn’t have fences blocking the main road, but even when you find a taxi accessible location, they never stop! We must have waited a total of 5 hours (NO JOKE) during our trip waiting for and seeking out taxis to just give us a lift. It was ridiculous and in heat that makes the surface of Jupiter feel like an ice tray, I have to classify this as cruel and unusual government! Call the Chinese government they need to immediately address these issues of human righ..ts… oh yea. Never mind.

We finally were able to get a cab and headed off to the Temple of Heaven. The Temple was pretty sweet despite the sun continuously trying to melt me like an old Ninja Turtles action figure (I used to always have a blast throwing Bee-Bop and Rock Steady into open fires I secretly created in my backyard).

The Temple is arranged into 3 distinct sections: The Hall of Prayer for Good Harvests, the Imperial Vault of Heaven, and The Circular Mound Altar. The first two seemed almost identical to each other and were primarily used by the emperors since the 15th century to offer up prayers for bountiful harvests each year. The Circular Mound Altar was a bit different and really just looked like a big pile of rocks, but it was still pretty cool in an ancient sort of way. It was cool to just sort of think of the Emperor’s of old marching from the Forbidden City to the Temple in order to sacrifice things and offer up prayers for their Empire. It truly is an important piece of Chinese history I don’t feel like talking about now but recommend that you buy a book (you can read right?) and learn more about.

Departing the Temple, we jumped into a cab and headed back towards our hostel. The hostel we were at was really pretty awesome. The street itself was constructed of pure evil and looked like it had recently been Napalmed, but the hostel was a beacon of light in the darkness. The architecture looked more like an ancient temple than a hotel of any kind. Inside, it was well air conditioned, the staff was friendly, they had a great lounge area with free TV and internet access, and a wide open courtyard that was very well decorated and cleaned. They also had a great bar/restaurant in a separate area that provided great space for some down time. To top it off it was locked and you needed to be buzzed in to get in (then again the staff did let in a surly looking bearded man with an oddly bulging vest on… but he seemed cool) so I felt safe the whole time.

That night, we stopped in at the bar for a quick sandwich and a few drinks while playing some chess. Not long after, we all decided to call it an early night since we were waking up at 5:30am to get the bus to the Great Wall.

The Great Wall of Exhaustion

I awoke the next morning to the sound of my brothers’ demonic computer making more annoying sounds then some of my screaming 3rd graders. With some great effort, I rolled out of bed and got ready for the day. At 6am, the van arrived at our hostel and picked us up to take us to the bus that would take us the three hours we needed to travel to the Great Wall. It was crammed as ever and we packed the thing to capacity as we weaved in and out of the Beijing streets to reach the bus, but I was so tired I don’t think I really noticed.

Once we got to the bus, I was impressed; I only had to break both my legs and hold my breath to fit comfortably into the VIP seat. I mean, this thing must have been meant for a king or something; ripped polyester interior, rotting wooden aisles, windows so musty it looked like there was an Arabian sandstorm outside, and seats with metal backing complete with death spikes. What a way to travel, I mean if this is how the Chinese do it everyday… no wonder they don’t want to leave this place. Seriously, I never thought my legs could fit into such a confined space. The ride was a veritable hell, but luckily I had my Radiohead on my Ipod to accompany me the whole way. Then my Ipod died 5 minutes into the trip… NOOOOOOO!

So the Great Wall of China is actually a series of sections preserved through dynastic kingdoms since the 5th century BC. The entire length of what we in the West refer to as “The Great Wall of China” is the section built by China’s first emperor Qin in 220BC and spans approximately 5,500 miles. Obviously, it isn’t something you can hike in a single day (unless you are the Flash or Andrew Godlewski), and there are three primary locations that tourists visit to awe at the magnitude of this archeological feat. We chose to visit the section of Jinshanling. Completed during the Ming dynasty, this section of the wall stretches 7 miles and includes 67 watchtowers including Wangjinglou, which is one of the most famous along the entire wall. We were told that this was the best part of the wall, and after a 3 hour ride in a bus built for circus midgets, I have to agree.

Now when you were back in school and you saw pictures of the Great Wall of China, did you remember it looking pretty flat? I remember a pretty gradual incline in the stone structure as it wrapped around the magnificent natural surroundings. It looked nice to walk on, maybe even a good place to take a jog, ride my bike, or take a nice relaxing picnic for the afternoon. The truth, as I so shockingly discovered, is that my text books illustrators lied! Now I do realize that the interior of China along the Mongolian border is relatively mountainous (the mountains themselves formed a natural wall between the two empires for a number of years in ancient times) but building a wall here appears impossible! The magnitude of such a project baffled me as I gazed off into the distance from tower to tower with no end in sight. The wall twists and turns up steep inclines and down into deep valleys, not at all graduated plane whatsoever.

Now I realize that for hundreds of years slaves and enemies of the emperor were sent to the wall to labor through the torturous process of construction day in and day out until death finally eased their toil, but come on guys…. Haven’t you ever heard of an escalator? Climbing up and down the stairs that traversed the many mountain peaks was no easy feat in the slightest. I was out of breath almost from the moment I set foot on the wall until… well I’m STILL actually huffing and puffing a bit. Since the walls completion, various foreign forces have made their way to this mighty barricade to invade China. Some succeeded (go Mr. Khan) while many failed to breach the heavily fortified and strategically placed boundary to the Chinese empire. In the years since, multiple efforts have been made to reconstruct the wall making it virtually impossible to tell which parts are the original materials and which parts have been recently restored. Once thing is for certain, nothing on the wall was fully restored.

Climbing up the steep stairs was treacherous; at all times I had to take care with my footing and avoid plummeting to my certain doom far below. Most of the staircases were slippery, sandy, and incomplete. Some sections didn’t even really have stairs but just a few loose rocks that I used to heave myself up to the next tower. Descending a staircase that threatened a life of eating my meals through a straw, a woman on the bottom platform shouted out, “Careful guys! 100 tourist’s die every year here!” Oh yea thanks lady that’s just great… I’ll be sure to aim for you as I plummet to my doom you bleak false prophet! In case you didn’t notice, I wasn’t happy at her words of wisdom, but I did make it down safely.

Marveling at the beauty that surrounded me as I snapped photo after photo of the Great Wall, I was astounded thinking of the strife it would have taken to complete the task. An unknown number of workers perished while building the barrier, and I appreciate the pain they must have gone through in the process: lugging bricks through the rugged mountain terrain and slaving away in the beating sun. I mean, I could barely make the hike 5 miles up the wall, I can’t imagine actually being the one to construct it.

The one nuisance that plagued my adventure was the exact same thing that the Emperors of the Qing and Ming dynastic orders must have feared: the Mongolians! They were everywhere I tell you! This time, instead of arrows they had cold beers, in place of catapults, they carried with them bottles of ice cold water, and instead of wielding sharpened swords… they unsheathed their wicked tongues, “water sir, here have some water. You want to buy a postcard, here have a beer.” It was war I tell you… WAR! Elder Mongolian women riddle the wall as they pester tourists out to marvel at the landscape. Though their intentions are purely based on their own survival, they can get quite annoying since they never cease in their attempts to sell useless items. I mean… who the hell wants a toy wooden duck on the Great Wall of China? Huh? When am I ever going to need that while climbing up a 60 degree unfinished staircase in 100 degree heat?

Despite my sheer exhaustion while hiking the wall, it was the experience of a lifetime. I got to spend some quality time with my brother and friends and we had a lot of laughs as we traversed the ancient wall. At one point, we were so delirious from lack of water that we all planned our own battle strategies in attacking the wall… I should have been a general… just nuke it. Emperor Qing would have never seen that one coming.

We made our quick decent to the mountains bottom and got back on the bus to Beijing. The whole way back, I talked to some guy who told me stories ranging from falling asleep drunk outside in front of a club in Beirut, to getting lost and almost dyeing in Siberia, to taking a 500k cab ride for $4 in Mongolia; geez…and I thought I got around.

Duck and Discover

Once back in Beijing, it was time to eat. The one item that the group decided was a must have whilst traveling in China was Peking duck. The old name for Beijing was Peking (you’r welcome for the history lesson) so we felt it necessary to have one of the most famous Chinese dishes while in the city of its origin.

It didn’t take us long to locate a good looking restaurant that appeared to specialize in the entrée. In the center of Beijing was a shopping district called Dongcheng that we decided to head towards. In all that I saw in Beijing, this was the most Western of regions with high rise buildings, lots of shopping outlets, department stores, food vendors and that sort of stuff. The specific region of the district we visited was called Wangfujing, and I enjoyed it very much. This is where we found our restaurant.

We took a wrong turn and went in the wrong door (an elevator that took us directly into the restaurant) and were seated right away even though there was a wait. Apparently, they must have thought us to be VIP’s of sorts since they sat us in a red carpeted section on a platform that rose a few inches off the floor. We were kings of the castle. I looked around at the peasantry around and snuffed my nose at them… feeble serfs should be bowing down to a noble such as I (okay that’s getting out of hand… but it did cross my mind).

A waiter took our order after Marc convinced us that the only option to get in a duck restaurant was in fact duck (I almost got sweet and sour chicken), and not long after, out came the food. The presentation was fit for a king: rolled out on a silver (sterling I am sure) cart, the glistening whole duck sat atop a ceramic plate besides knives sharp enough to cut pennies (I think Billy Mayes may have actually done a infomercial for them… RIP Billy… I miss you’re Sham-Wow). A man in a white mask (not sure why he had on a mask) carved pieces of meat off the bone in perfect proportions so we were each presented a scrumptious serving of mouth watering Peking duck. It was by far one of the best culinary experiences of my life. The skin melted in your mouth and the meat was so full of flavor so indescribable that… I can’t do its description justice. All I know is that we all felt it was an amazing meal as we gouged our faces in its delicious taste and toasted our glasses to a victorious dining experience.

We had to literally roll ourselves out of the magical restaurant and back out onto the streets of Wangfujing. The plan was to head back home and get some drinks, but a glimmer of lights caught my eye around a corner ahead. It was the Wangfujing Night Market! It reminded me a lot of a the few Night Bazaar’s I had traversed in Bangkok, but there were quite a few oddities that made this experience unique for me. The first thing I noticed was the food: pierced through long wooden sticks and still wriggling around were good ole fashioned live scorpions; nothing like some desert rodents to help digest a full helping of Peking duck. I’d like to lie and say I gave them a whirl, but I winced at the thought of eating these poisonous arachnids and moved on through the market. Other notable surprises were: fried scorpions, fish balls, fried spiders, Korean dak-boki, and fried Tarantulas the size of my fist. It was all pretty cool and really gave me that “I’m not in New Hampshire anymore Toto” kind of feel.

As we continued through the market we made our way to the souvenir area. Here’s where a stiff elbow and some fancy footwork come in handy for dealing with the mob of Chinese who lack any awareness of others around them. I swear, to get through these markets you literally need to take both of your hands and shove people out of the way. The crazy thing is… they don’t even mind! Their all just used to the hordes of shoppers congesting themselves into narrow spaces. It’s amazing how courtesy and manners die so quickly as soon as you put people into tight quarters with rude people. I picked up a few souvenirs from a street vendor (she was kind of cute) as we exited the night market and made for home… or at least we thought so.

As plagued my ventures throughout Beijing, it was impossible to get a cab home. We walked forever, down busy streets and crowded intersections, just trying to find a ride home. At one point, after failing to acquire transport for 45 minutes, we started to loose hope and come to the realization that… we were going to sleep in the gutter. I sat down on a curb in front of the Hyatt Hotel defeated, deflated, and demoralized in knowing that no one would ever come save us from our helpless plight. After accepting defeat, a miracle struck and a cab emerged to finally get us. We got home safe, walked the Green Mile back to our hostel, and drank the night away in the hostels bar since we were too tired to brave another venture in the city. After all, tomorrow was a new day.

The Not So Forbidden City

I awoke early to prepare to travel back to Tiananmen to see the Forbidden City. Once again, the blistering heat was comparable to the fires of Mt. Doom… and one does not simply walk into Tiananmen Square; security checkpoints, alleged listening posts, and security personnel prowl every square inch of the historic landmark. To those of you who consider me a nerd for using a Lord of the Rings reference… would you have preferred I used Tatooine as a model perhaps? Don’t judge a man who knows am award winning movie when he sees one.

Gazing upon the Gate of Heavenly Peace, I could not help but stand in awe that I was actually in China and staring at the most famous palace entrance in the region. Centered on the massive outer wall hung a 50 foot picture of Chairman Mao who made his most famous speech on October 1, 1949 issuing the Proclamation for the People’s Republic of China here. One fun fact I also learned was, that had the Chairman had his way during the Cultural Revolution, the Forbidden City in its entirety would have been reformed in the Communist parties efforts to rebuild a new China and destroy their ancient roots. I guess that would have left this part of my blog empty and I would have to write about some other topic… I think I would have probably chosen why the girls in China seemed to pay no attention whatsoever to me… but luckily Mao didn’t level the Forbidden City.

Walking through the massive gates of the Forbidden City, I was filled with excitement for the view to come; however, I got to say, I wasn’t thrilled. There was lost of concrete, lots of buildings all over the place, and tons of tourists. As we walked on and one, we passes through palace after palace that we could peek into to see ancient thrones of past emperors, but they all just sort of looked the same. The scale of the palace was impressive. The Forbidden City is literally a city within a city and one could easily spend the entire day exploring its locked doors and antique bronze kettles, then again; one could also spend the whole day playing Fifa 2011 and at least then I get to yell out “GOOOAAALLL” and demoralize my opponent with a few well placed insults to their feeble skills.

Also, literally EVERY sign in front of a monument in the city read the same basic lines: “This blaa blaa rabble was built in the Ming dynasty but burned to the ground in fires. It was later rebuilt in the Quing dynasty.” I mean, I get that things burned down, it happens, but the entire city NEVER once burned in a single period of time. Didn’t they eventually catch on to the fact that possible a fire department might be necessary? Or at least stop using kerosene for weatherproofing the exterior walls?

The most impressive part of the city was the gardens on the North side. Hundreds of trees and beautiful monuments littered a large area and gave the Forbidden City a mush less foreboding feel to it. I enjoyed looking through the flowers and pagodas (gayest thing I have said all day) and taking some pictures while I continued to become drenched in uncomfortable sweat.

It didn’t take us long to realize we didn’t much care for the Forbidden City; it was just something you sort of have to do if you are in Beijing. I wasn’t nearly as thrilled as I was hopping to be upon exiting the attraction, but, I mean I was on vacation in China, so how can I really complain? Regardless of my feelings, upon looking back, I am glad with my decision to visit the age old seat of power for the Chinese nation.

Departing the area of the Forbidden City was a whole other story on it own. Again, the heat was brutal on that particular day and dehydration was beginning to set in. At one point, I thought I actually saw Colonel Sanders walking next to the Hamburgler on a distant side street. It was time to go! The problem was, as became the theme of my Chinese excursion: I had no exit strategy. There was no way to leave the district we were in! Every single cab that even came near us was either full, or refused to stop for us. As I sweat my last remaining bodily liquids from my pours, a driver finally stopped a few hundred yards up the main road. “Run Ryan! Run like you’ve never run before!” I commanded my brother as Zach followed in hot pursuit. We were finally free, I thought to myself. Free of this barren wasteland where sunstroke and dehydration threaten your every step. Free of the narrow sidewalks and rude Chinamen going out of their way to bump into us. And free of the awful smells of the culinary catastrophes that lurked around every corner. Upon reaching the cabbies door with the speed of Ussein Bolt, the driver rolled down his window, looked at my brother, laughed, and drove off towards some oasis in the distance. CURSE YOU CHINA! We were swindled yet again in our perpetual confinement on the wretched streets. We finally did make it home, but not after suffering toils men should never be forced to face during their lifetime.

Swords, Fish, and Transformers

Our final stop of the day was to visit yet another busy Asian market… I tend to visit too many of these while traveling and they really are all pretty much the same… I just can’t help haggling with shop keepers I guess.

Traffic in Beijing became a full reality on our way to the famous Panjiyuan market in the southern section of the city; a trip which should have taken us about 15 minutes or so ended up being more like an hour and a half. This is just another prime source of the ever present haze that constantly bears down on Beijing day in and day out. It essentially was a gigantic parking lot of angry Asian drivers (who let’s face it are terrible at driving anyways) trying to move from lane to lane without room to do so... madness I tell you… madness. During the 2008 Olympics, I read that the government placed strict Draconian measures on the citizens of Beijing severely limiting automobile usage to cut down on pollution. I sort of wish Mr. Jiabao would have kept them in place so I could go buy myself some souvenirs a bit quicker.

The market was an experience unto itself. We explored row after row of mostly just a bunch of crap the Chinese vendors were trying to pawn off on us. I did pick up a pretty sick 6 foot tapestry of the Great Wall which I loved, but it was overshadowed by the fact that a bought a blatantly fake “jade” ring soon after. For some odd reason, Zach decided to purchase a full length sword at the market, and Marc picked up a fish lock. No when I say fish lock… I mean a 6 inch rusted old piece of garbage locking mechanism that resembled a fish. What in God’s name do you use something like that for? Moving back to Zach’s purchase… how the hell does one get a sword through custom, “Oh don’t worry Officer… I’m on official Samurai business… I assure you it’s all legit.” Not one of his better thought out plans at all I must say. The one thing the sword did provide for us was transport home. Cabbies may not stop for a group of angry foreigners on the side of the road, but they will stop for a group of angry foreigners with a f***ing sword! That’s one thing we learned quick so my one word of advice for visiting Beijing is this, wield a sword at all times and unsheathe it with a vengeance to procure adequate transport services.

The final night in the hostel was one to remember. The plan of attack was to go out and actually hit some clubs and bars in downtown Beijing; what actually transpired was the exact opposite. Marc got violently ill with a malignant concoction of tuberculosis, strep throat, tonsillitis, and the sniffles (I never have nor claim to be a medical doctor though my history of diagnosing these sorts of things is flawless), so he was out for the night. So, Zach, Ryan, and I sat in the hostel bar and proceeded to indulge in a few “well made” cocktails. By well made… I’m talking cups of Gin with droplets of tonic water in them. We met a few people around the table and played a few card games and then decided it was time to go out and live it up like the couple of wild men we were.

Before the decision on where to go could be made however, the power went out. Welcome to China! We thought it would just be a quick fix, change a fuse, maybe reset the circuit breaker in the back, but it stayed out…. For 3 hours. Luckily, I carry a portable IPod (I think they are all portable… except those IPads… seriously guys… there just too big, can’t you just use a computer at home?) and battery powered speaker on me at all times so I was able to keep the party rocking. The drinks kept flowing, the jams kept bumping, and we were all having a blast. Some German kid Mike, Ryan, and some other girl I can’t remember, and I all decided to get out of the dark abyss and walk through the 3rd world streets of our neighborhood. Here’s my favorite part of the trip.

About 200 meters up the alley from our hostel, a maintenance truck was parked blocking the path. Apparently they were there to fix the power outage that had affected the entire area. Standing out in front of the truck was every person in the entire neighborhood! Here it was, a hoppin Friday night in one of the worlds’ biggest cities, and these drunks were just standing around watching their fellow nationals hard at work at 2 in the morning. The nerve of these lazy citizens! To not just allow the working men do his job without heckling and looking over their shoulder; I was appalled, I was baffled… I joined in. We stood next to the sweaty, shirtless Chinese on that hot summer night in the center of Beijing and watched the electricians work their ass of trying to restore power to the community.

Now, this was no small transformer at all. It was about the size of a living room and had more wires and coils protruding from it than a space station. There must have been a total of 4 guys just standing on top of that electric box of death trying to figure out how to fix it. Now I hold to this day (and I may be wrong) that they were not actual electricians but just a group of bakers or butchers or something, cause they didn’t seem to have a clue what they were doing up there. I actually saw one guy take his wrench and just huck it at one of the coils! I’m sure they must have went through extensive “wrench tossing” training at their trade school when learning to fix transformers. To top it off, the entire time we were watching the debacle unfold, I had my portable speakers blasting “Killing in the Name Of.” It was an entirely foreign and amazing experience that had me on the edge of my seat wondering what in God’s name might happen next.

After about 30 minutes of waiting, the workers rappelled down from the sparking box of doom and prepared to test the fruits of their labor. Before flipping the switch, the entire crowd of Chinamen immediately recoiled into back into the alley. “Damn!” I thought. If they messed something up terribly, which was likely, we could be witnesses/victims of an explosion. I quickly made moves to join my comrades and strategically hid behind a pole that I felt confident would shield me from impending doom. As the apathetic foreman walked to the generator box without a single sign of fear, the crowd behind me awaited an explosion of nuclear proportions. However, to their dismay (and partially mine as well) the wrench throwing techniques taught at the Beijing school of Transformorology must have been well researched, for power was restored. We all dispersed from the scene and my brother and I went back home to pass out.

The next day, my brother and I were all set to leave but decided instead to head to the Olympic Park. There’s nothing much to report on this issue. It was cool to see the architectural masterpiece from the 2008 Summer Games called the “Bird’s Nest,” and it was great to see the sight of the great Michael Phelps accomplishments, but it wasn’t anything too impressive. To top it off, on that particular day the pollution was so terrible we could barely even get a single picture worthwhile. Still, it was another one of those places you have to see if you are ever in Beijing.

After that, it was finally time to leave China for good. My brother and I collected our things (Marc still had Malaria and Zach was heading off to Hong Kong) and snagged a cab for the airport. So long for now China, though you were by no means the best place I have ever traveled, I will never forget the amazing trip I had there.

Ok I’m Finally Done Ranting

So who actually took the time to read this whole blog anyways? I went on quite a bit and don’t apologize one bit for it, it was necessary. The scale of China and all the historical significance as well as cultural dissimilarities with the West is alone reason enough to write on and on and on. Though I took on a more somber tone in describing my trip to China (especially Beijing) I must say I enjoyed my time thoroughly. From climbing one of the world’s tallest towers, to the world’s most famous wall, to spending quality time with my brother, I don’t regret a moment of my travels. I must say, upon touching down at Incheon Airport in South Korea, I felt like I was home. It’s amazing how much I missed the culture, language, food, and feel of Korea as a whole. It really made me think about how special this country is to me and how glad I am that I made the trip out here to once again traverse the globe. Until next post… Carpe Vita!

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Comments

[anute nancy]

thank you
Hey kido: I just got to read part two of your blog and now I am printing it so I can let nana look at itl. It is so nice and Like I told Uncle RickyI would love to go there some day. Maybe someday. Look I got to go I wilklk talk to you soon Anutenancy

[Skimango]

Thanks Aunt Nancy! Glad you liked it and I hope you get to see it someday. Miss you all back home! Tell everyone I said hi and I will see you in a couple of months!