And Now for My Contribution for the War on Drugs

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Surprised by my title? You’ll be even more surprised at how I contribute to it (and now that you’re drawn in…) So last time I ate break that might as well been sprinkled with crack, said goodbye to some friends, and lead my group to write possibly the best skit in CET history – or the world (about the same, right?). And now to fight a war on drugs (not to be confused with: fight a war, on drugs).

July 29th:
So after the mini-party, Tucker, Ian, roomie Jian Qiang, and myself went off to eventually go to an electro party for acupuncture records. But first we took the subway to near where tucker lives, and then meet up with Tucker. We went to his friend’s café, one of those cool hole in the walls you won’t know about where we met his friends and talked for 10 min before heading off. Oh, I should mention at this point it started pouring. So we started walking to the electro party, and long story short, took the long way. Which meant by the time we got to the party location, we were soaked to the bone. So cold and miserable, we were met by Tucker’s friend, Peaches (still can’t even type that name with a straight face – and yes she’s Chinese), who greeted us with free tickets, which is very nice. So we stayed there for about two hours, and while it was cool to see a less known about electro show, the music was only average (a classic mistake with electro/dubstep is that you can’t have stuff on repeat because it gets boring. That’s why the best dubstep/electro songs are ones that are mixed with other songs) but Jian Qiang and Tucker were able to show off a little bit of dancing, and I even pulled a move or two (or one). Also, the crowd was a rather odd variety, a lot more white people that I would have expected, at a lot older age than I would have expected. When I asked Tucker about it, he basically said (and I should have figured out before hand) that it’s people who have a lot of money, never grow up, and then travel. Oh well. So then around 1 we left the electro party, got Peaches a cab and then we headed off for another club.
Now this is where my war begins. I’ve never been pro-drugs. Ever. Never touched them, never even smoked any tobacco. Booze is the only thing I ever use, and even then a few of my friends wonder why I don’t drink every time I go out. And while I generally don’t care whether other people use drugs, (cause I’ve got better things to worry about) I’ve never understood it. This is why: life gets really trippy all by its self. And now here is my story to prove it. (Note that while I did drink a bit that night, my last drink was at 11 and I was 100%!s(MISSING)ober for the following events).
So we go to some part of town, which I think is close to SanLiTuar (a big shopping area/club district) and go to club Latte. I’d never been there before, but Tucker had a few times and knew one of the higher-ups in the club. Before we got to the club, Jian Qiang and Ian were going back and forth on whether they wanted to go back to CET or not, and eventually decided on going back. So then Tucker and got outta the cab (into the pouring rain mind you), got re-soaked, went inside and elevator who took us to the third floor (which was interesting, cause our only choices were floors 1 and 3) and after getting security checked, went into the club. Now to start off the trippy-ness, this club was steampunk themed, and since most of y’all don’t know what that means (which is normal) think a gritty reboot of technology designs from the late 1800’s. Google image search it if you’re still having trouble. So that plus black lights equals a pretty weird start. But it’s a club, and they’re normally themed so whatever, plus the music was really good. So Tucker and I enter, and chill for a bit and then the club security guards suddenly clear off a stage near the bar where a bunch of people were dancing. So Tucker and I look over to see what’s going on, and then it took a turn for the “what the frick?”
Suddenly there were 4 tongzhi (slang for gay/lesbian – also the word for comrade, which I find super funny) in 80’s leather outfits, covered in glitter and start doing a dance routine. And incase your imagination needs a little help, the stage had 2 stripper poles. Thank god these guys did not strip. But the dance was weird, and I basically spent the whole time trying to process what ever it was I was watching (though to give them credit, they could do standing splits, which just sounds painful and hard). And if you’re wondering why I was watching as opposed to turning around and going back to dancing, it’s cause the whole club stopped for these guys. I’d also like to make a slight commentary here on Chinese society. This is also a perfect example of how China is still catching up with the western world. China is slowly (very slowly) becoming more ok with the gay community, and the level of acceptance is reflected by the 80’s style of clothes/flamboyancy that the dancers wore. Something interesting Tucker pointed out.
So after they were done with their routine, I was thinking “ok, so that was … interesting. Whatever, back to dancing right?” Wrong. Then two guys (tongzhi’s? I think so, not positive) went on stage in a button up, jacket, tie, shoes, and a thong. Notice I didn’t say pants, so you should know where this is going. And if you don’t, here’s a hint: they were male strippers – oops, I gave it away. So then I had to watch a male strip show (not something on my bucket list, but got checked off anyway) because once again, the whole club stopped for them. And I’m not sure if male strippers routines normally involve a lot of gay sexual innuendos in their routines, but this one did, which made for a lot of “what, why, what, I don’t even…” moments. And then they pulled two (cute) girls on stage and then danced with them in very sexually expressive ways (which is why I’m still not sure if they were gay or no. Bi? Whatever, doesn’t really matter). And just a reminder, this all happened in the setting of a gritty steampunk club, so on top of the dancers and the strippers stuff just being weird in general, the location just made it that much trippy-er. And again, 100%!s(MISSING)ober for this, cause I know most people would have to smoke a lot of pot to come up with something like this.
So then after this, the club went back to being a “normal” club (as opposed to a temporarily gay strip club). Also, people were allowed back on stage, so Tucker and I hopped up. And then at a different stage, a singer comes up and starts singing songs that I will say have a similar vibe to Travie McCoy/Bruno Mars (island music mixed with modern pop) which was cool and fun to dance to, but again, with a backdrop of gritty steampunk, was super trippy. So after the singer, the music goes back to the DJ, who was rather good. Tucker and I ended up dancing with some random couple, and some guy who we later learned was Korean. Among the stage there were also some interesting sights. For starters, the girls that were on stage were immediately “Night at the Roxberry’ed”, and for those of you who haven’t seen the SNL skit, basically it means that the girls were instantly surrounded and hip-thrusted at (and while I feel sorry for the ladies, was really freaking funny – for the same reasons the SNL skit is). Then to add to this, apparently some blush shows up really well in black-light, so this one girl looked like a ghost with a skin disease when the black-lights hit her face (which was often – also sad cause she was cute). And then to add to it, some 40 something woman started to hit on me, after having difficulties getting on stage (cause she was rather drunk). Sadly for her, she had no idea how badly this plan would fail for multiple reasons. 1) I don’t mess with really drunk random girls (unless I’m am under similar mental states, and as previously stated, I was stone cold sober) 2) I don’t do cougars. It’s kinda creepy for older people to specifically go for younger people. There are a few random times where age is just a number, but at a club, it’s not one of those times. 3) I’m basically deaf in a club. With the music in the background, I can barely hear anything. Heck, even in crowded rooms I have trouble hearing, and that’s in English, so in Chinese, that problem is doubled. (side note, these hearing problems also carry over to telephones as well, not sure why) and it doesn’t help when 4) the woman is speaking fast, drunken slurred Chinese. Furthermore I still can’t get the thought outta my head that she could have been a prostitute, that after a failed attempt of communication, she would raise her dress a bit and show me her leg (which was in a stocking but still). Well either she realized I’m not paying, or wasn’t worth the effort to seduce with a language (and music) barrier, she moved on and I got to enjoy some more dancing.
At 3， Tucker and I decided to head back to his place. And remember, it’s still raining. So we walk back towards his house (which is an hour away) trying to find a taxi to take us at a reasonable price. There are none, because 95%!t(MISSING)axi’s at night stop caring about regulations and charge what they please/what you previously negotiate, so we end up walking that whole hour back to his place (although it stopped raining 1/2 way through), along the way, we talked about a lot, mostly girls and girl issues, which I won’t get into too much but I’ll say that it’s impressive how committed it he is to trying to make his current relationship work with a girl who is a med student at UNC. We got back to his place, where he skyped his girlfriend briefly (and I got to meet her for the first time) and learned that she’ll be coming next weekend before we went to bed. At 4:30 am.

And that’s it for this blog, another one should finish off the weekend I think. So moral of the blog: If you can get plenty high on life, why does anyone need to do drugs? And now some other thoughts:
Who the hell is the planner at Latte and what were they smoking? They should read this blog
Was that cougar a cougar or a prostitute? I really don’t know.
Why isn’t the subway open late at night? (Rhetorical)
--Robby

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