'Quickies' from Juba and Nairobi

---

It’s time for a series of short anecdotes in Juba and Nairobi! Enjoy!

1.

In Juba, our Kenyan roommate had moved a day before, and every time we had to talk to him, Martin and I were addressing him as Kuma. Kuma here, Kuma there… A day later, at the table, Martin goes, ‘Hey Kuma, would you like a coffee?’

Kuma interjects, extremely polite: ‘Please, stop calling me Kuma, my name is Kouma. You have to watch your pronunciation in Swahili…’

I could not stop asking: ‘Why? What does Kuma mean?’.

Kouma makes a short pause, and smiling, he replies: ‘Vagina’.


2.

Having done my research on Kenya before landing, I knew that the usual rate for a taxi ride from the Kenyatta airport to the city was around 1,300-1,400 shillings. Francis, the driver from the hostel, after a great talk on our way to the slum where the hostel was at, extends his hand and says: ‘It’s 2,200 shillings’

I smile back, and say: ‘Francis, I know the rate’. ‘Oh, no’, Francis says, ‘it’s because inflation. Last week, inflation was 40%’. ‘Here’, I said, giving him 1,700 shillings, ‘inflation just dropped to 20%. It was on BBC…’


3.

A former SPLA soldier works for an NGO in Juba, shows up drunk once. The NGO director fires him.

The day after, the soldier returns with his uniform, and holding an AK-47 in his hands…’Boss’, he says, ‘I have fought for my country. I think you should give me back my job’.

‘Ooookay’.

4.

The house of two female expats in Juba. Drinks and great food around. Suddenly, I spot a tray with some twenty plastic cups, and a little plant flowering from three of them.

‘What are you growing, girl?’

‘Marijuana’, she answers, ‘but somehow, the experiment is not coming out as expected…’

5.

The new trend in naming your baby in Kenya: Obama, of course.

---

Photos

Ready for the border!
At CARE office in Juba, ready for the field

The Malaria Mobile!
..and Grumpy Robert!