Chilling Chimps and Lost in the Dark in a Wildlife Park

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The alarm went off at 5.45 am as today we were chimp trekking which required an early start. Zedius drove us to the nearby Kibale Game Reserve which is 795 sq km. It’s home to many primates and is known as the primate capital of the world.

Upon arriving I was dismayed but unsurprised to see around 30 other tourists. All donning new and expensive khaki gear, some even wearing chaps. I’d pulled my socks over my trousers to keep the ants out and Glyn had elastic bands. If you don’t take this precaution, you may find yourself doing an involuntary dance. The tourists were a mix of European and American and I knew at least one would wind Glyn up.

Now the security at this park is good, we were asked to bring our passports but in the end they were not requested. But Zedius was asked our nationality and where we had stayed last night. The guys at the gates had big guns of course. We went to sign in and were reminded that when close to the chimps, we must wear face masks so we don’t scare them! Ha ha no. The masks are to prevent us giving them our diseases.

As we signed in, other tourists huddled behind us and one lady in particular did not want to move out of the way for Glyn to get past, so he had to push through. OMG if looks could kill, he’d be instantly dead. She hadn’t spotted me following him and catching her glare. So I motioned her to give me a little space to pass and said “excuse me please”, but she still wouldn’t budge so I had no choice to push past too. AND I did it with an elegant eye-roll! If she writes blogs, I’ll bet we won’t get a good write up!

What was cool to see was that many of the guides were women, looking pretty rad in green and camouflage gear and big guns too. I commented to Zedius that I’d not seen any female guides / tourist staff as yet in Uganda but he assured me that it’s an even mix. I had worried because Didan had said yesterday that there was still anti female prejudice in Uganda, in that people aren’t happy if they only have daughters and keep going until they get a son. Also one of the mechanics yesterday had introduced himself to Glyn and had totally blanked me. However, that only happened once.

After a talk and instructions by a female guide, where we were warned not to mimic the chimps (you have no idea what you could be saying) and if you really need to pee / poo in the forest, dig a big hole first and let your guide know where you are going. We were split up into mini groups and ours was a group of seven and our guide, Edison. Like all the guards, he was armed but this is only to frighten away any charging elephants or buffaloes and not for tourist control. He last had to do this four days ago.

We left in a convoy, Edison joined us in our jeep as we drove by a large troop of olive baboons who love hanging out on the road. We got dropped off down a track and left Zedius. Now we had been told we could potentially spend a couple of hours trekking before we would find the chimps, but within 5 minutes, Glyn spotted one on the track! The other tourists joined us because although we’re separate, we’re all going to roughly the same places.

Edison led us into the thicket where figs plummeted down upon us like missiles. I thought that the chimps were deliberately firing at us, but was assured it was only loose fruit falling due to the chimps jumping around up there. Apparently figs don’t hurt too much if they hit you, but some of the bigger fruits are worth avoiding.

Suddenly we came upon a chimp at floor level and we were very excited. The head male came crashing through the group amidst lots of excited chimp calls echoing around us. We are told to stay still and back off when we can if they get too close. The chimps generally aren’t bothered by us, but like to let us know that they are in charge. Each group followed their guides in different ways through the trees, but often met each other.

The head chimp settled down and started grooming a baby. The baby gave a few warning tree thumps when it eyed a tourist it didn’t like the look of. But dad was napping now. Another male arrived and all three did some family grooming, it was very intimate and at times it looked like they were doing yoga. In the distance, we heard the rest of the group having a blazing row, but the male had a Boris Johnson style of leadership; he ignored the problems and had a nap. He also had a bit of a fat belly and numerous illegitimate children, so very similar. When I said this to Glyn, I think he heard, because he got up, threw me a dirty look and left.

It was meant to be an hour with the chimps, but I think it was bit longer. I didn’t check my watch, Uganda isn’t really a watch-checking type of place. Back at the track, we found Zedius, who returned us to the trekking HQ. Here a group of locals were drumming and dancing which gave some ambiance to the place. We were given certificates and I bought a hoodie and ornament. It was only now that it began to rain, but not for long. It was been cloudy but warm so far today, at 23°.

We have a lot to get through today, so we returned to our lodge, packed and said our goodbyes after meeting our next specialist guide. We were going for a walk around three craters that are now lakes surrounded by farmland.

The walk started steep as we climbed up past banana trees, vanilla vines, sweet potato bushes and other vegetables. We met lots of local people. The kids waved, smiled and said hello, happy to pose for photos. The adults not so much. I think some may have ignored me if I’d not said hello first. Some of the kids were making mud sculptures and one little boy was very proud to pose with balls of mud in his hands.

There were also cows and spotty goats, I think the locals were amused at me photographing them. We had a lovely view of the lakes and eventually clambered up to the ‘top of the world’ where we had a panoramic view of the three craters. One was vaguely the shape of a map of Africa, but missing Madagascar it was noted. I suggested getting a shovel.

We walked back to the jeep, tipped our guide and started the next leg of our journey. Around a 2 hour drive south to Katunguru, near Queen Elizabeth National Park where we would have lunch. We weren’t due there until 4 ish and Zedius suggested we get snacks, but we’ve been so well fed so far, we were ok to wait. The road took us through farmland, forests and small towns, the sun shone and it was a lovely day. In the distance we could see mountains where one of the national parks is located.

As we drove through some of the towns, near the national parks, we were asked, what do you think are the main problems the locals face when living here? Well, the answer was lions, because they attack people. And buffalo, because they attack people. And elephants, because they break into their houses and steal their booze! Apparently they like to drink to the extent that they get drunk. Zedius has a video somewhere of a drunk young elephant with children riding on its back, so it must be a happy drunk! He promised to send it to me. I can’t help but think this is dangerous for all involved!

Further along near Kikorongo, we passed through the equator. Zedius assured us that there are better places to photograph the equator, which sounds weird because I don’t expect to actually see it. Here there was a home-made wooden sign, confirming that it is the equator by the road. I’m not sure what else you would expect .

So, even though we weren’t actually in the wildlife park, the road ran through it, so there was a possibility of wildlife, crossing the road. In the distance, we saw buffalo, Ugandan kops, vultures, and waterbuck. Zedius was anxious to get us to our lunch, so it was the quickest safari racing along the road. I was concerned as it was almost 4.30, that the light would start going at around 5.30 and the park shut at 7 pm. I suggested skipping lunch and going straight to the park, but lunch was already prepared so we went to our next lodge, Irungu Safari Lodge, which is where we were also having lunch.

This lodge was better than the previous and we were warmly welcomed in. We quickly ate lunch, spaghetti and African sauce, which just was a tin of tomatoes with some spices. We drove to the nearest entrance to the Safari Park, but it turned out the card machine wasn’t working and so we had to go in another way. It was around 5 pm, the light was going and I was a little exasperated. We headed to another entrance but Zedius decided now was a good time to introduce the Safari formally, even introducing himself despite us having been with him a day and a half already. I couldn’t see any animals and I just wanted to get going!

We did spot some buffalo and Zedius pulled up to tell us all about them in great detail. They were far away and barely could be seen. I really wanted him to shut up and get going, but that would have been rude; he was oblivious to my impatience. Internally I was clashing; reminding myself that this was African time and there was no hurry versus the thought that we’d been saving for this for a year and we had less than two weeks to see everything!

I stopped pointing out any birds or animals we’d already seen for fear of pulling up again. Zedius was doing what he was trained to do, but at this point, it wasn’t what I wanted. Back on the main road, I spotted elephants in the far distance and I did ask for a brief stop. They really were too far away to photograph, but I tried anyway. Zedius switched off the engine and this was a big mistake because the jeep wouldn’t start again. Typical. After a few attempts to get it going, we volunteered to get out and push but were not having much luck. Another car pulled up and a man came out and helped us push it, and we soon set off again.

Just before 6pm we entered the park, I didn’t want to waste time using the loo and thought it would be ok as we only had an hour. Here we saw a lot more warthogs, Ugandan Kops, waterbuck and buffalo. Plus some birds and a rabbit that could hop extremely high. But it was rather empty and even Zedius was questioning where all the animals had gone. I stood up, on the look out, but only spotted more of what we’d already seen. We only passed a couple of other jeeps on their way out. They had seen more wildlife, but far away.

However, the land was beautiful, with rays of sun breaking through the clouds and I consoled myself that we would see loads tomorrow. At around 6.30pm, I presumed we were heading back, it’s hard to tell because it’s all dirt tracks with no signs. But Zedius was still trying for us. By 7pm, it was very dusky and getting harder to spot the wildlife. My hopes were often dashed as termite mounds that in the distance looked like they could be something more interesting.

At 7.20, I asked what happens if people are late leaving the park, apparently you can get arrested for deliberately staying. I asked at what time do they start to consider arresting you, but the question seemed to be lost in translation. I don’t know how they police it because the area isn’t fenced in, only the roads have guarded gates. But the animals can wander out (to go boozing for example) and I guess anyone could wander in.

Zedius took us to a place where hippos were known to come out of the lake, but it was just about light enough to see that they weren’t there.

By 7.40 it was full on night time dark and our headlights were not the brightest.

By 7.50 I began to wonder why we were driving in the dark and asked Glyn quietly if we thought we were lost. He said yes, but later changed his mind. A rabbit got briefly caught in our headlights and I mused what it would be like if a lion got caught in our headlights - I guess it would glare and leave. But then I imagined if we had an elephant caught in the lights and what if it charged? Hmm. So this is when we startled a bird and I gave a little yelp as it flapped in the lights, because I also startle quite easily. I did apologise.

Zedius asked if I was worried and I wasn’t really. I knew we had a phone signal, so the worse that could happen would be that we close the roof and windows and wait for help. My only real issue was the need for a loo. A few times we hit massive potholes and I thought we could break down again, but again, we could simply call for help. Or sleep there for the night until another jeep arrived in the morning.

When we’d seen buffalo earlier, they were all sitting down. But now they decided was a good time for a full herd to cross the path. They are very big close up and even bigger in the dark, but were keen to avoid us. Two pushed each other to get away from us and Zedius swerved to avoid them, going off the path. He didn’t want to risk stopping and them charging at us, he told us afterwards. The jeep hit a dip and we lurched as a buffalo butt briefly collided with us. Now that’s not something that happens to everyone I’ll wager.

Zedius assured us that he wasn’t lost, just driving slowly because it was dark. But he did seem a bit anxious at times and appeared to be thinking hard which way to go at each turning, but then there were a lot of potholes and obstacles to avoid. Plus he was maybe worrying that we would start complaining, but we kept light hearted. In the distance, lightening lit the sky a few times and that added to the drama.

As we finally approached the exit, it was 8.15pm and Zedius said that if the guards asked, we were to say that we were late due to the jeep breaking down. But the guards didn’t stop us and I decided not to ask to use the exit loos, despite a strong need. We quickly exited.

We were soon back at the lodge for a late evening meal. And here I saw my first cat of the holiday, a silver tabby that was quickly chased away by one of the staff. It belongs to a neighbour and bizarrely, he didn’t want it visiting, Now I assumed that we would be in the main compound where reception was. But a few guys helped with our luggage and led us out, past a herd of resting waterbuck to a lonely but lovely lodge. We were assured that there is an electric fence, so we’re safe to sit on the porch, and so that is where I finished today’s blog, surrounded by pitch blackness.

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