My suggestion for the next edition of Lonely Planet: Morocco

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Day Tour: Fez on a Friday

Getting there and away:
Take a petit taxi to the Medina. You don't speak French or Arabic well enough, nor do you know the area, so don't even bother trying to ask for a specific entrance--just let him drop you off wherever he feels like, and pretend that's what you wanted the whole time. Spend a half hour or so trying to find your way in through a back alley.

Activities:
BE SURE TO CHECK OUT THE TANNERIES. You will have at least 100 + people remind you of this during your day in the Medina. And they will all be more than willing to show you the way. Choose the "guide" that follows you the longest, as his persistance obviously means that he is trustworthy.

Orientation:
You WILL get lost. Accept it, embrace it, and don't get shived.

Shopping:
Surprise! There is none! Friday is a holy day, so you will practically have the entire Medina to yourself. Cool, huh? You will be a lab rat in your own private maze. With the shop doors securely closed, you won't be tempted to buy gifts for your friends and family, saving you precious dirhams in the eventuality you get fleeced by a tour guide, taxi driver, or other colorful local character.

Eating:
Few options will be available to you, so head for the main entrance where there will be plenty of dazed, slightly mopey tourists to comiserate with you. Pull up a chair and reflect on how you can kill the next 4 hours.

Dangers and Annoyances:
Although some women may call it harrassment, it's really more like being stuck in a horrible, smelly bar with a bunch of drunk assholes trying to get your attention. Ladies, don't be surprised if you are both cursed at and proposed marriage to in the same day!

Now get out there and enjoy your Friday in Fez!

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