Dating someone who is not into travelling?

I think my hubby doesnt have the same addiction i have. He is sometimes keen so i normally find something that he would want as an incentive. And that is sport... so to get him to Hong Kong we went during the Rugby 7's...went to 2 games otherwise had 2 weeks of tourist stuff around that. To go to the Carribean same thing, found Australia playing a cricket game, bought tickets for 3 days of it and the other 3 weeks we went to that island and others. I'm planning the same thing for India and/or sri lanka 😊

He also seems to be more comfortable returning to places he's been to before where i want to always go somewhere new...so I negotiate. We will go to somewhere we've been before that he wants to and on the same trip i throw in somewhere new.

We have done seperate trips though... I believe i have said 'im moving to the US and i would love you to come but its up to you'....and he came. And also, 'i'm keen to go to the greek islands and sail around', he said 'im not', so i found someone else and went with them for a few weeks 😊

But...it can be done! 😊 Reply to this

I was thinking about posting a similar question. My husband I are have been together for four years but recently married in September. I have been trying to convince him to leave and travel for long periods of time since the day we met and I have yet to convince him to do so. He is completely content with the short vacations and getaways that we take together.

I have pestered him time after time to the point that it has caused arguements between us. He decided he would do it shortly after we were married but has since changed his mind. He always tells me to just go, but it is becoming increasingly hard for me consider going away for such long periods of time without him.

I feel selfish for wanting to leave without him. I cannot imagine going away and not having him to share the experience with. However, I feel like if I do not do it soon I may go crazy from years of making up possible longterm travel itineraries. So I am starting to plan a solo trip.

*****It has been hard having a partner who does not share the same enthusiasm for travel that I have, but I have to come to realize that it is just as important to have a partner who encourages you and is willing to standby why you accomplish your goals. With this being said, I don't think it is necessary to be with someone who has the same exact dreams, goals and aspirations that you do. While my husband and I have different dreams, we still love each other and encourage one another in what we want to do. If you truly love your boyfriend and he loves you, then he will support you in what you want to do.
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An interesting question but not an easy answer.
I think the best time to ask this question is when you are not in a relationship.

Years ago I decided that I really enjoyed scuba diving and it was important to me to have a relationship with someone who shared that interest. Once I made that decision I made a choice not to date anyone who didn't share that interest because I liked to go diving on vacations. I didn't want to spend my vacation time alone.

When I met my husband he was not a diver but had always wanted to learn how. He got certified before we got married.

I would not advise you to break up with someone you love because they don't share your love of travel if you can handle traveling alone....and.....and this is the tough one... can they handle you traveling alone. Remember once you get married the money more than likely merges and the partner may not want to spend time away but also may not like you spending money on an interest they do not share.

Life is full of tough choices.

Your original post left me feeling that the relationship might be suffering some other issues and in your follow up post it sounds like that is.

I'm now middle aged and I will tell you one of the valuable lessons I have learned --- for myself--- not to settle--- don't give up on your dreams ----- life is very, very short....... and I believe life is meant to be shared.


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Hi would tend to share the opinion of MJ and Mike.

As a disclamer, I have to admit i'm a complete addict to travelling, so therefore completely biais.

There is a very important point that hasn't been mentioned...travelling is a "nice disease" you can ge it upfront, or you could start to get it lsowly later in life...

My point is that it's not because he doesn't like travelling extensively now that it would be the same tomorrow. In that respect, people do change.

Travelling is like life, there are a lot of faces to it. Some love to plan, other don't...some prefer to lead, other prefer to follow. All of those may love to travel, but some may not want to travel because they are scared of having to lead or be lead.

So it's all a question of mesure....if he is sure he will never travel, and you absolutley wants to travel, you have an issue...not easy to start a family when you both disagree on your way of life.

But it could as well be a question of time, that one of you is simply not ready, than is a question of patience....and than, life will tell if you have both the same patience and love to each other.

I have to admit, I'm seriously lucky to live with Mari who loves to travel. But in our travelling, we both bring completely different pasts, and we both have different personnalities when it comes to travel. To have a great couple, you don't need to be both the same...and that's great! Reply to this

My husband doesn't have as much as a passion for travelling as I do but he will go on short trips (2 to 3 weekers).

As a compromise he looks after the kids for me while I go travelling. We have my first trip this coming March (3.5 weeks in the UK.)

For us its not just that he doesn't want to travel as much as I do, its also about costs. I am a stay at home mum so we only have the 1 wage so its cheaper to send me off to "do my own thing" as he calls it and we are both happy. Reply to this

I just wanted to add that it isn't easy travelling apart. Skype and email makes things easier but it is still hard. On the short trips he takes out to see me I find it hard to grapple with being alone again and always have to develop my confidence in continuing.

I guess what I am trying to say is that you can make your relationship work if you want to and if he wants to. It doesn't take too much effort to travel Asia and find internet cafes - although I have a little netbook which I travel with which makes private conversations easier as there is wifi pretty much everywhere so I can sit in nearly any cafe or any hotel room or dorm room and talk to him through facebook or skype or email. Maybe a handy thing to take with you? So many travellers do.

It was also mentioned above by someone about whether he can let you go - something my boyfriend couldn't do for the first two years of our relationship as he felt threatened by the possibilities. I had internal debates as to whether I could continue the relationship as I had a desperate need to see the world. On the third year I broached the subject with him and he was whole heartedly supportive. Even now when I have weak moment and peruse skyscanner for cheap flights home he is the one convincing me to continue.

What I am trying to say in a long whinded way is this; if you love eachother and you have a good relationship and he supports you and you trust eachother then there is no reason why you can't travel and stay together. It will be hard work but well worth it. Yes it's much more fun having him there with you BUT there is value in travelling alone, you see a lot more.
And when you are feeling homesick and low, you have a friendly face to talk to on skype to keep you going through those weaker moments.

But as I said before, only you can make the decision to stay together or break up. These decisions are always difficult and we can't rely upon others to make up our minds for us even though we are desperate.

Good luck x Reply to this

I am coming in on this a little late. Everyone has great responses. Personally, I think the most important thing to think about is what kind of traveler you are and whether or not you are going to want him with you. How often do you travel and for how long?

I prefer to travel alone for short periods of time, usually to concentrate on my work. However as a vacationer, I have chosen to date someone with not only the same flexibility in schedule and the freedom to leave, but also (and almost more so) has a wild need for adventure. You may however, embrace your time apart and hold close the experiences that are yours and only yours.

Relationships are built off of things shared; experiences, memories, etc. While I am certainly not telling you to end your relationship, its hard for me (who has built my life and career around traveling) to see what makes the relationship. Traveling is about our obsessions, curiousities. Does he not have any of these he would like to pursue?

A complete opposite perspective of your situation is that I dated a coast guard once who was gone ALL THE TIME. (I saw him three times in 8 months for a day at a time.) While I travel just as much, we never saw each other. That's no way to love..in longing? Ultimately it ended, because I decided I didn't want to put myself through that stress. There needs to be some sort of balance. Perhaps figure out how you would maintain that balance.

The realization of whether or not it is worth it will come as you sort it out.

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In response to: Msg #149993

Hi Lorriann I'm similar to Mel and wondering if you made a decision?
One of your comments lead me to believe that you might be breaking up but not because of the traveling issue....it sounded like their might be other difference that have caused distance.

Hope we see you on the road.
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I get dumped before every trip...

Seems like your guy is the perfect partner for a traveller, because of this. It leaves you free to enjoy a holiday romance on every trip. 😉 Reply to this

In response to: Msg #149993
with same passion is here ..:p Reply to this