Wow. I just read through this entire thing. Time to weigh in!
A lot of people have made a lot of good points, and there's not a whole lot that hasn't been said, but I'd like to address a couple things.
The first is that in America, people who work in restaurants do not always have the option of quitting. While many will protest and say "you always have that option!" the truth is that even those of us who work in food service temporarily to pay for school or while we get our feet on the ground (or to pay for travel!) can't just pick up and leave due to the state of unemployment services and the bizarre stratification of jobs that precludes simply "changing careers" for those without high school/college degrees. Most career wait-staff's choice is not between the hospitality industry and something else, but rather between the hospitality industry and NOTHING.
The second is something that's been touched on, which is that while not tipping may seem like a form of protest against a broken system to you, its very similar to the age-old concept of shooting the messenger. We don't make the decisions in the industry, and assuming that we have a say in how it works is not only silly but dare i say it a little bit ignorant. Just like in the oil industry, the movie industry, or any other industry, dealing a blow against low-level workers (like demanding writers get paid less or refinery workers work longer hours) does little other than hurt subordinates in the system.
The third is something quite practical and quite harsh. If you aren't going to tip, and you know this, and you know you will be expected to, do not go out to eat in America. That table will most likely be filled by someone who WILL, and the table's server will be more likely to make ends meet as a result. I was in Israel this past winter and while in the Arab part of Jerusalem had the opportunity to listen to a non-profit coordinator speak on the conflict there. At the beginning he made it clear he would be accepting donations to make up for the time he was missing from work as a construction worker in Ramallah (in the West Bank). I didn't have any cash on me and the room had a limited number of seats, so I declined to hear the talk and had a friend who had cash give me the run-down later.
Point being: when you are aware of an expectation and feign ignorance in the name of protest, you hurt only the server, who in most cases will be trying to do his or her best to serve you.
When i tip, I tip 10-20%. If I was given awful service, I demand a refund or a free meal from the manager. If it was the server's fault, I tell them so, leave them a tiny tip, and tell the manager. I would expect no less if I were the server.
America is a screwed up place, but not "playing ball" as quoted from Reservoir Dogs changes nothing. So don't do it.
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