NOLA
One of us is smart, but that changes often. If your lucky, the smart one will be writing this nonsense, but I gots a feeling you ain't gonna get lucky too often.Jeff and Lycia
I like meeting new and interesting people of varied cultures in order for us to make sense of this big goofy world. I want the whole earth to be like one giant happy family...after all, we only have each other.
Lycia likes to eat endangered animals, flaunt her American wealth and laugh at people who dress "all funny and stuff". She once paid 50 bucks to throw a handgrenade at a cow in Cambodia.
Can two people travel to South America and both spread a message of peace and hope while eating omelettes made from rare Peruvian condor eggs? We shall all see together now, won't we.
PS We are highly experienced private investigators who enjoy solving crimes and mysteries as we travel, feel free to contact us. Reasonable rates.
Inspired by our travels we have opened our own tour company here in New Orleans. Come see us at www.ConfederacyofCruisers.com for fun New Orleans neighborhood bicycle tours guided by folks who know what travelers like.
Travel Blog Posts
Help I’m in a coup!
Published: July 11th 2009Central America Caribbean » Honduras » Northern » La Ceiba
July 9th 2009
(This is froma few days ago, since I am drinking gin today, I should probably get busy with another) Well we can’t say that we weren’t warned. We were told that taking this vacation during a time political upheaval would probably lead to us being eye to eye with some unsavory elements, and boy was that an understatement. We ended up standing next to one of the most horribly corrupt, power hungry, and half witted politicians on earth before we even landed in Honduras. Yup, within 3 hours of takeoff we were having our photo taken with C Ray Nagin. Made sense, though…the day started out ugly. We took the AeroMexico’s very first flight out of New Orleans, and when New Orleans incompetence meets Mexican laziness (or is that vice versa - it’s hard to know, ... read more
Stink-making gross machines...
Published: August 28th 2007South America » Peru » Lambayeque » ChiclayoAugust 28th 2007
(I'm tired and will not have a chance to proofread this for a bit...read only if that doesn{t scare you) That´s what has become of us, it seems that is all we are now. Where once there were two thinking, sentient, human beings with emotions and feelings to share, there are now just two gastroenterological wrecks. For me this is hardly a problem, as a fellow for whom the word 'civilized' has hardly been used as a description, I had little to lose. Lycia, on the other hand, as previous to now well mannered young lady, has fallen quite far. The ravages of Bolivian/Peruvian cuisines are merciless. The four day Salar de Uyuni trip (a month ago, blog forthcoming, eventually) was where we were blinsided first, and by an enemy we never suspected...a pizza. It looked ... read more
Goodbye Señor Fargo...or how my loss of 67 cents can seem so insignificant now.
Published: August 24th 2007South America » Peru » LimaAugust 24th 2007
We should have been miserable coming off a 20 hour bus ride, but finished the trip feeling really well rested and happy. It had us confused for a bit, untill we remembered we are out of Bolivia and have made it back to a country that has figured out how to pave its roads. Pleasant. We finished Cusco with a day of white water rafting, and now, I think when I grow up I want to be a professional rafter. I am sure NASA will be disapponted to find it lost a potential astronaut, just as most banks have lost a potential bank president, but they will have to get along as well as they can without me. Pro rafter it is. We got back to Lima for a few days of easy living. We are ... read more
Machu Pichu and up yours capitalist slime
Published: August 20th 2007South America » Peru » Cusco » Machu Picchu
August 20th 2007
So Machu Pichu...one of the 7 wonders of the world and all that shit. The Incas spend a damn long time building a damn beautiful city, stonework that you wouldn´t believe, a wonderous setting...and this is actually the only city they sucessfully hid from those ravenous Spanish douchebags who took apart every other Incan city they found in order to use the stones to build houses for their syphillis infested girlfriends. So who should be the guardians of this ancient Peruvian marvel...if you answered Orient Express Ltd a British multinational corporation based tax free in Beemuda and specializing in $1000 a night luxury hotels where i would be arrested for peeking through the window, you would be correct. For the hour and a half train trip to the ruins from the nearest town (their are no ... read more
Stupid rip-off bicycle death ride...
Published: August 20th 2007South America » Bolivia » La Paz Department » Yungas RoadAugust 20th 2007
Am I being an anal jerk or am i right to feel like i got scammed on my death ride? So the World Health Organization actually declared this specific road in Bolivia "The world´s most dangerous". A bunch of busses, some driven by completely obliterated drunks, others by just semi drunks, go over 500 meter cliffs on a painfully twisting gravel/dirt road each year and Bolivia feels like something has to get done. By gosh, there are lives at stake. So with all the momentum the nation can muster they build a new highway to replace the 40 or so deadly miles. Being Bolivia, this takes them only 15 years or so...not bad, they should go into business fixing New Orlean´s potholes, we can use the improvement. Anyway, the old road has been given up to ... read more
Only read this if you thought we were buried under rubble
Published: August 17th 2007South America » Peru » Cusco » CuscoAugust 17th 2007
we are not...we are still in cuzco, unaffected by the earthquake and completely allright. We did write to the red cross to see if they needed help in the disaster areas, but inexperienced doofus´seems to be not what they were looking for. Our offer was actually turned down. As usual, in a hurry, still no chance to finish the last blog entry or the 3 in my head from before that. We are off on some backwoods trick way up to macchu pichu which we are pretty sure is doable. Some jerk corporation has a monopoly on the trains to MP and apparently, this may be a trick way to avoid the 75 dollar scam train ride, or else it´s a way to lure cheap gringos into some cruel joke. Can´t wait to find out. Anyway ... read more
Lycia´s Dead Guinea Pig Cafe (finally complete)
Published: August 16th 2007South America » Peru » Cusco » CuscoAugust 16th 2007
Can´t wait till we get back to the US...these bizness ideas of ours are just all ready to boom. You´ve got to look for emerging markets, and when I think of holes in the US restaurant industry, I really see potential in Cuyerias. Cuyerias seem to be the thing here in the Peruvuan Andes, a town of 800 may have 4 or 5. That´s a more than just a trend folks. The problem is that I just don´t think the word Cuyeria really expreses the emotion you feel when an entire dead guinea pig, head and all, is placed in front of you. I´m not sure if they poke the eyeball out or it just incinerates in the oven, that I must research. Laugh if you will, at my business savvy, I hear they laughed at ... read more
The Dangers of Tobaco
Published: August 10th 2007South America » Bolivia » Potosí Department » TupizaAugust 5th 2007
So , we are way behind in blogging, but that doesn´t mean we are way behind in tragedy and misadventure. I´ll slowly work backwards over the last 2 weeks, but we will start with what i still remember...yesterday. So we are now in Tupiza, which is a mix of an 1800´s western town, a 1950´s Norman Rockwell painting, and more stylistically mixed up teenage bolivian punk rockers than most of you have ever dreamed existed. Their naivety is adorable though, and bootlegged Abercrombie and Fitch black t-shirts with metal studs popped in is so tough, i think I´ll be swiping that style when we get home. I even forgive the kid in the Good Charlotte shirt for not understanding how much that band is a bunch of little bitches cuz of his black cut rate ... read more
Not so much a blog entry
Published: July 20th 2007South America » Bolivia » La Paz Department » La PazJuly 20th 2007
as a good bye to civilization. 3rd day in la paz, a city that by reading this right now, you are now legally obligated to move here next year with us. Don´t worry, you won't regret it. Cheapest, craziest, most beautiful city we have seen yet. Of course, If it's so darn great, you must be wondering, why are me and Lycia at a computer terminal right now instead of giggling at adorable old indian women sitting high atop their street fruit stands in hats that would make any 1920´s era gangster green with envy. I'll give you 3 guesses, and if the first one is not that a strike has shut down the entire city, you have not been paying attention. New country, same excitement...with one problem for us...the workers are gathering in one part ... read more
July 17th 2007
If anybody is checking google news everyday for tales of 2 drunken idiot tourists getting burned by looting mobs in Arequipa, I have either good or bad news for you. We escaped, and the worse injury we had to survive was sleepy eyes. Our last night in Arerquipa, while all of our hotelmates took our idea and chartered a bus to get the hell out of Dodge, we drank. Seemed like a (choose your adjective madlibs style here) idea at ther time, but maybe it was actually (opposite adjective as last). Hmmm. Pisco Sours or escaping a city on lockdown...you see the conundrum. Luckily we were so inebriated that we passed out by 10 PM. We wake up at 5:17 AM and hope we can slip the roadblocks while the blockaders sleep it off. Taxi to ... read more
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