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Published: August 3rd 2016
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It started off as these events tend to do – at Folkestone. Cusco the Chief Spaniel always states that he needs his meal at the pub (chicken and rice in a bucket) before he can face the Eurotunnel the next day. This time, however, there is a surprise for him and the dear readers as on this trip we are heading to the far north !! Yes indeed, none of this mollycoddling in the balmy temperatures of Aguilas, but to Nordkapp deep into the Arctic circle, so prepare for stories of ice, snow, trolls and Vikings or if the weather stays good, a few showers of rain but a generally easy trip .
After driving through Belgium and Holland with an overnight stop in a town called Lierop where we were carefully examined by some calves, and another overnight stop in Munster in Germany, Claude was headed in the general, then specific direction of Hamburg. Wendy the Navigator guided us to the where we had a surprise. To the uninitiated, when you arrive at a campsite, you are allocated a pitch, which is the area you park your van/caravan and spread out chairs and tables to sit in the sun
to drink beer. The size of the pitch varies from site to site, but the one here in Hamburg was a prize winner. I say “here” when of course it should be “there” as we have moved on, but it gives a sense of being there.
To say there was not enough room to swing a gerbil called Misty round would be stretching the point slightly, but it gives you the general idea of the area we had to manoeuvre Claude into – and he is quite a bit larger than Misty. Your correspondent had made haste to Germany to drink various and copious amounts of the lovely beer on offer (certainly better than German wine – two words that should never go together) and so once we squeezed into our pitch, I opened a chilled can of Bitburger and the gasp of air that escaped slammed shut our neighbours windows – yes, dear readers, we were that close to each other.
The three of us, we couldn’t get Claude out of the pitch, hopped on a bus, confused the hell out of the poor driver by asking for completely the wrong type of ticket for the wrong
direction, but cleared it all up and headed to Hamburg city centre. There are not many old parts of the city left as it got flattened during WW2, but we had a fantastic time wandering around the city, looking at sites and while Cusco and your correspondent slunk off to have a beer, Wendy decided to do something else entirely.
Readers of the blog will know she has a penchant for climbing towers and in Hamburg she found a doozy to try. 132 metres tall and 544 stairs to the top. When you start the climb, they write down your name so that you can be ticked out when you come back down. And dear readers, yes she made it all the way to the top and back down again – of course she bloody did, no cancer on the lungs is going to stop this girl.
Our wanderings took us to various parts of the city, the renovated docks, the town hall, walks up and down hills and to St Pauli. Now, St Pauli is an area of town that is different at night as it is during the day. At night the Reeperbahn comes alive and
is home to the red light district of the city. Although we were there in the bright afternoon, your correspondent decided to try and raise more funds for the expensive trip to Scandinavia, so I stood on a likely street corner and waited and waited and waited. After two hours not a penny had been earned – perhaps I should have kept my clothes on.
The next day (and all she complained about was that her calf muscles were a bit sore), we headed further north to Kiel and it’s canal. Your correspondent was rather thrilled to see this, less so were the navigator and chief spaniel who showed no interest in it whatsoever as there was the promise of a beach near the campsite – philistines !!!! There was indeed a beach and there was also a rather surly German site warden who was not best pleased that I shut down half the electricity of his campsite when I blew up our electric hook up. Thankfully Misty the gerbil was not placed in any danger.
The next morning brought excitement and sudden panic to your correspondent. Excitement as we were going to cross the border into Denmark
(a new adventure) and panic as we needed to stock up on as much alcohol in Germany before exposing ourselves to scandalous Scandinavian prices, so after emptying two supermarkets of beer and rum, we jumped back into Claude who hit the road on only his back two wheels. Your correspondent was concerned this may look suspicious to any Danish customs officers.
It didn’t.
Our first stop in this sunny, warm and pleasant land was a town called (and still is to my knowledge) Kolding. A car park at a marina provided lovely walks along the lake and some tables to sit at and look at the boats and drink wine and rum and get eaten alive by midges –surely Scotland’s greatest export.
Four or five years ago, some of you will be aware that Wendy and I attempted the Machu Picchu trail in Peru. Somehow or other we completed it with only a few serious injuries along the way, and in our small group were Mark and Ruth who were from some godforsaken place in the colonies – Brisbane in Australia to be precise. The time spent with them was great fun infused by walking, drinking beer
and a dictionary worth of swearing provided by Ruth. Your correspondent often thought about them (well a few times ) but never expected to meet with them again.
But wait… what’s this….breaking news…. They now have two kids and have moved to Copenhagen which is where we are going the next day!!!!! All well and good I thought but what has it got to do with me?? I found out very soon, after a cuff round the ear from Wendy the Navigator and a snap around the ankle from the chief spaniel. To get to Copenhagen by road from Kolding you have to go via a big bridge called the Nyborg Bridge which is a stunning 18 km from start to finish, but it is not the longest bridge in Scandinavia, you will need to read on for that.
In fact dear readers, this is the cliffhanger ending to this blog. Will we meet Mark and Ruth??? Will the kids like us??? How will Hansel the Daschund react to his house being invaded by a crazed spaniel???
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Home and Away
Bob Carlsen
Great to see you on the road once more!!!
I appreciate your sense of humor and taste in beer. And you respond "What sense of humor?"