I’d be more worried about coyotes if I were you!

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So today was Tight Pants Thursday, no one has sported pants like me today since Dokken broke up. Good thing about wearing super tight pants is that nothing falls out of your pockets, what goes in stays in, they’re like Vegas. I can appreciate this since a sizable bit of this Colombian monopoly money fell out of my pocket in a cab not long ago.

I’m thinking of making a street dog coffee table book, just in case when you have kids you need to induce vomiting, you can just crack that mother open and bam, saves you a trip to the emergency room. My mustache coffee table book is selling like a madman, saving marriages all over the US as women realize how lucky they have it since their men don’t look like porn stars or cops (sorry Ty, but I think it’s mustache time) For those of you who don’t know Ty, he’s a porn star, not a cop. Something hilarious, this guy at school, attempting to ask where the computer room was in his halting spanish, asked “donde esta el salon computa”* rather than “el salon de computadoras,” which is essentially asking where the whore room is. We all laughed, and then showed him.

Glenn Frey isn’t here but “the heat is on” for sure, at least this week. If you need to keep cool, I personally would suggest skintight pants. Last weekend I went to Barranquilla for a chiva, or a party bus which drives around and takes you to various places in the city. In a nice way to kick the evening off, before our first stop we were delayed by traffic in plain view of a pretty dead looking fellow (I’ve convinced myself that the sight of all that blood, someone else’s I’m sure, caused him to faint). On the way home the bus was stopped by a security checkpoint which employed at least one very enthusiastic and thorough police officer with soft hands.

The torrential rains are coming, the arroyos* street sign is funny, they put it up on streets where you are likely to get swept away. Remember how every time we sent Matt to the gas station with explicit directions concerning our wish list, he would invariably mess it up? I recently asked for a jug of orange juice at a fairly upscale place and was given Tampico Orange Punch, and thought of you, as you did that to me once when I was really craving actual orange juice. Obviously I took it badly, I am bringing it up again like 8 years later. I sang some John Bon Jovi last night, a cappella, turns out Living on a Prayer’s not as popular down here as it is back home. I’m looking forward to a more enthusiastic audience when they play it during Josh and Rachel’s first dance at the wedding reception next weekend. I can totally understand that Silence of the Lambs guy wanting to use human skin to make clothes, if you put on 100 pounds, you can’t wear the same shirt, but you’ve still got the same skin. It’s elastic stuff, even more so than biker shorts, like the ones my mother dressed me in for my first day of school in 3rd grade. It’s a miracle I like girls.
Hug hug, kiss kiss, hug hug, big kiss, little hug, kiss kiss, little kiss,
~Tyrone

Movie of the week: The Guardian, although I liked both Waterworld and The Postman, so perhaps my judgement is suspect, also it gives me some idea of what Uncle Dave’s did for so long, except Costner has more hair.
Song of the Week: Definitely Salt n Peppa’s Push It
Book of the Week: Eleven Minutes by Paulo Coelho

Laurie got offended that I used the word "puke." But to me, that's what her dinner tasted like.

This is kind of a strange question, you haven’t been drinking gravy have you?

*arroyos means stream but as the picture indicates, it's a little misleading.
*Actually it would be the “salon con putas.”

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Photos

A Colombian Taxi
My ride to work everyday.

Barranquilla arroyo pic
I'd like to tell you this was some freak natural disaster rather than reveal that this is what it looks like everytime it rains.

Comments

[Chris]

Colombian Taxi
Wicked good taxi photo.