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Published: August 13th 2006
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Nok
She may be a prostitute but still a bit of a laugh! Thursday the 10th of August was easily the most eventful day of my life; Hungover at 5:30am i drag myself out of bed and get going to Gatwick, everything going well until we turn on the radio and hear about the terror scare at the Airport. Slightly bewildered and a bit nervous anyway the boys and I wander through Gatwick, Sam's last snippet of advice ringing more prominently in my mind "Don't die. have fun" hmmmm..
Anyway we struggle through the throng of Daily mail readers "This is simply proposterous, its absolute choas" etc etc and are welcomed into the comforting busom of Etihad airways, quite simply the best airline in the world. Cleanest planes, most amazing service ever.
We then land in Abu Dhabi, which is the hottest place i've ever been to. Bear in mind this is 9 O'clock at night and the temperature is 40 degrees! We were not looking forward to sleeping in the airport for 12hrs. Bored, we wander around for a bit until a friendly Arab (which incidentially they all are) tells us our transfer to the hotel will be arriving soon? Confused we get into a cab and shoot off at 90mph plus
Riding on a tuk tuk
Note the oncoming traffic! with a crazy taxi driver to what must have been a 4star hotel. Proper roughing it we devour a free buffet and wander around abu dhabi, non-sensically eyeing up everyone we meet with fear. That soon passes and Marsh and I decide we really like the clobber and will have to get involved with the tea towel vibe when we get back home.
The next afternoon we arrive to an overcast and oppressive looking Bangkok. Always one to judge things first i immediately decide that I wont like it here, and as always when i make these snap decisions Im proved wrong almost instantly.
Our guesthouse is right next to Khosan Road (the backpackers haven. as seen in the film The Beach) and as soon as we leave the taxi my senses go into overload, there is so much to look at, smell, see and (as Adam found out later) touch and taste!
Not only is this street the most hectic it is also the cheapest place, after splashing out 25pence for a full noodle meal from a street vendor we sit down and feel guilty about the 90pence we pay for a litre of beer, hmmm pricey. No
more heroes has definately got some competition for economy fun.
Sat down in a bar a slim Thai girl (not that that is really a way to differentiate, as they are all tiny) comes up to me "you wanna play pool?" i decline as my scepticism suspects she may well be a lady of the night. This suspicion is confirmed later when she sits down with us and i find her hand sliding up my thigh, but ever the gentleman i let her carry on! Her name was Nok so various Knock on Wood puns were made.
I hope you dont assume where this is going as a few beers later my conscience kicks in and i say im going home, she clearly wants to come to but these pesky morals get in my way and i give her 500Baht and tell her to go home. She then gets offended, shouts "I no prosteeetuute' and walks off. Cleary not offended enought to give the 500Baht back though!
The next day is pretty much a non-event until 4pm when we get out of bed, feeling guilty that we haven't really seen Bangkok at all. Marsh and I decide to treat
Danny to a Thai massage as it is his birthday, 1pound 20 handed over we lie down in a wooden hut as have middle aged thai women walk all over us. Not for the first time that trip it must be said!
That evening we have a belting meal for a quid each in a nice place and hit Khosan road again. After a beer in a disgusting nightclub full of western scumbags, (think the opera house in Bournemouth) we get on a Tuk Tuk and ask the driver to take us to a nighclub where he promptly takes us to another, even more horrible place full of more hardcore western perverts. It is so bad girls are lined up against the wall for men to choose. So nasty you are not allowed to take photos in there. We drink up quickly and leave.
Today we have got another Tuk Tuk and cruised around Bangkok. Those things are so much fun, like being a passenger when Talia's driving but with a bit more due care and attention ;-) We go to a Bhuddist temple which is obviously quite peaceful and spiritual. A friendly Thai tells me that we should write our names and where we're from on a tile. This will then be used to make the roof of another temple. We write "Don't die, have fun" and our names on one then leave. Thais love graffiti apparently?!
After that our Tuk Tuk driver 'Dan' takes us to a tailors and we are all seduced by the salesmans patter and get measured up for suits. The irony of 4 unemployed lads getting bespoke suits made of the finest cashmere does not escape us but we don't care. At least we'll be the smartest dressed people in the dole q when we get home!
Sorry for the length of this, more for my own gratification really.
Hope you are all well
James
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Jimmy
non-member comment
Nice one
Nice one brother. Sounds wicked and I must say your journalism skills are fantastic! What does that mean 'touch and taste - as Adam found out later'? Has he got stuck straight in to the lady boys?