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Published: January 3rd 2013
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Happy belated New Year! It’s been a long time—sorry!
My hometown-friend’s family recently told me they’d be hosting a 16-year-old Korean teenager at their home in small-town Pennsylvania (Eastern US). They asked me for some advice, so after thinking for a while, I thought I’d share it with everyone. I feel like I had a pretty easy transition, for moving to a different continent, with little knowledge of the language, and knowing few people in the country, but I’ve had experience before.
I first thought about the general challenges of moving abroad. For one, probably the language difference will be difficult. Even if a person is a good speaker, it is really tiring to all day be surrounded by and forced to use a second language. I’m going to take a guess that if this student can afford to study abroad, her parents have already invested a lot in her education, as many Korean parents do. That means she most likely has learned English since she was at least 6, possibly before. She also probably attends “hagwon”/”academy”, which are private after-school schools where students usually study English and math until around 10pm.
Although she probably does write English well and knows a lot about English grammar, she may or may not have experience conversing with only native English speakers. Often native speakers speak in slang or about cultural ideas that second-language learners probably have no idea of. For those hosting Korean speakers, although it may take some practice, I would suggest making a big effort to speak slowly to the visitor AND to each other. Using myself (who has put in mediocre to average effort in studying Korean) as an example, I still usually have no idea what Koreans around me are talking about at lunchtime. However, it is possible for me to pick out words, and I can sometimes understand others’ phone conversations on the subway. It is really frustrating to sit while everyone is speaking, and have no idea what they’re talking about. I’m sure her English level is above my Korean level, and you will do your best to slow down your speech. I would suggest getting a wipeboard or paper pad for the dinner table so that if a word/phrase comes up a lot, she can write it down, translate it, and it will be easier to remember.
Another challenge for people who move away from their native land is missing people. A solution is to make new connections. I’m sure she’ll be alright at high school because I bet no one there has ever met a Korean and will be pretty interested in getting to know her. I would have left Korea long ago if I hadn’t made the great friends I’ve made over here. I also wouldn’t have lasted without Skype. I think it’s really helpful to be able to talk to my “home people” face-to-face. She can also probably use an app on her smartphone.
Food is another thing that can make people feel homesick. I doubt there is an adult Korean that doesn’t eat kimchi and white rice at least once a day. Korean breakfast, unlike typical American breakfast, is usually savory. It may be rice, some soup, some kimchi, and other side dishes. I think it’s kind of important to at least have some rice for her, and I bet if the first weekend you went to a Korean restaurant/grocery store, she could stock up on anything she’s really been missing. A good emergency standby would also be to have ramen. Korean kids love ramyeon, the Korean version, and although the flavors are different here, I’m sure the salty noodles would be close enough. Other favorite foods for Korean kids are: tteokbokki (spicy ricecakes), pizza, hamburgers, ice cream, fried chicken, kimchi, and (Korean-style) bakery pastries (known as “bread”/”bbang” here), so most of those will be available for her.
There’s a bit more that will be specific to her as a Korean. I usually consider Korean teenagers, especially those from a city, to have less parental supervision than I had when I was young. This is probably more of a contrast between city and my country-upbringing, but it’s also because most children have very scheduled lives. Korean kids may not see their parents from when they leave around 7:30-8am to 10pm-12am, when they get home from studying. In addition, the crime rate in Korea is pretty low, so people are generally not as cautious about letting their kids go out on their own. On the weekends, when they’re not studying, children may also usually hang out with friends. I rarely see parents and school-age children together in public here.
It’s especially important for Korean teenagers to have tight schedules, because during their senior year, they will take the college-entrance exam. Usually, during their three high school years, and especially their senior year, students are expected to get less than 4 hours of sleep (because they’re studying the rest of the time). I think it will probably be a priority for her to study a lot while she’s in the US as well.
In Korea, kids’ jobs are to study. Because many women are stay-at-home moms, few kids are expected to do chores. Therefore, an exchange student may not expect to help clear the table after dinner, wash dishes, help cook, or even clean her room. It may be a good idea to go over expectations for what the student/parents will be responsible for.
As far as recreation, I’ll speak about Korean girl teenagers, since I teach them. They are really into cellphone games and texting/Kakaotalk (Korean texting program). They generally like to go shopping and to noraebang (karaoke) with their friends. They really like K-pop and certain Korean or American TV shows. I often walk into my classroom to see my kids doing a K-pop song and dance routine. Regarding pets, small dogs are becoming more and more popular in Korea. However, many children and adults still don’t know how to interact with dogs and are afraid of them (because they weren’t taught). It may be a learning curve with your pets, depending on if she had a pet at home.
I think living with a person from another country is wonderful. I’ve learned so much from my various international roommates at college, abroad, and working at camp. I hope if you host a foreign student, it’s as enriching for you as it’s been for me. Please comment or message me if you have any other questions, and I’ll do my best to answer them!
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Alexsys Kim
non-member comment
Great article
I work for a non profit foundation that handling Korean exchange students and your article is really helpful. You mentioned all things we should make them aware before they leave Korea.