Advertisement
Published: October 7th 2012
Edit Blog Post
Arriving in Bangkok I'm greeted with hustle and bustle of tuk tuk drivers and taxis trying to sell me a ride into town.
I don't manage to locate a local bus and the taxi drivers want 150 baht to take me to Ko Sahn road or the crazy backpacker district of Bangkok. I manage to grab a ride on the back of a scooter for 60 baht and we head off into town.
I'm slightly light headed once I reach Ko San.
It's busy, big and noisy and everything's for sale.
I manage to check into a hostel and head out for some shopping for the local wears.
After a lazy bargaining session, with all my souvenir trinkets in tow I head to seven 11 to meet Vova whom I'd met earlier at Railay beach.
On the way I'm stopped by Mr Fix It.
I'm weary of his initial cheesy simple and pedophile Peter Pan hat.
But I'm still light headed and quite used to the friendliness of Thai's and their want to practice English.
Putting my presumptions aside I sit down to talk to Mr Fix It.
Your from Canada or Australia he informs me.
Well yes Australia sort of I reply.
See how did I know? He says to me.
I know things he says.
I begin to reply that he is just good at telling accents but he's on to the next thing.
You've never had an orgasm or ever found your g spot without exploring yourself have you? (Mr Fix It)
Well actually I begin to say but he presses on.
Your 23 or 24 he says.
As I shake my head he goes up to 25 then says ah 26 it's the same solstice or something.
I'm laughing now and try to make my exit politely.
Mr Fix It grabs my hand and sits me back down.
He insists he give me a massage for 5 minutes that will solve all my problems including my ear ache.
Well actually you see it's not I
begin but he is up already massaging away.
The massage is actually good until he tells me to close my eyes.
Im about to get up but he presses for me to continue to sit and give the 5 minutes a chance.
I do and close my eyes and this is where he blows through my nose and insists I feel better in my sinuses and I make peace with my daddy.
Make peace with the black man he chants to me.
I actually have a really good relationship with my dad I reply to him - the first sentence he's actually let me complete.
In your past life Mr Fix It commands forgive the bad black man in your past life.
I forgive the black man and say thank you and that I'm heading off.
He pushes with his massage services telling me how he is going to dig deep all this shit is going to come out and the g spot will be activated.
I say thank you that's wonderful but I think
I will have to leave g spot and orgasm free for the rest of my life as my time is limited in Bangkok and I'm off to meet some friends. As he pulls me in again I pull away abruptly smiling and waving as I go.
On the way to meet Vova I pass Mr Fix It again. He has a girl sitting in the seat looking all doe eyed and her friend standing next to her and he's massaging or stroking both their hands and smiles at me and tells me to make sure to visit tomorrow night.
The rest of the night is spent eating rambutans, some pad Thai from the street vendors, playing Jenga and laughing about all the craziness we have witnessed so far in Thailand.
After a thorough warning from my Belarussian friends of the scams arise in Bangkok and some reading of these scams in the palace and with the tuk tuks I decide to fall for one of these scams.
I'm offered quite a few of these scammer tuk tuks on my way from Kho Sahn road to my first stop. I refuse
politely and graciously.
However one man catches at my weakest point. I've just finished a lovely conversation to Ivan my brother who has also recently traveled Thailand. He assures me that it is possible and worthwhile to see a couple of the great sites of Bangkok and also fit in the 2 hour massage that I so dream of prior to my flight tomorrow.
Right.
The laziness departs momentarily and with greater determination I set forth to examine the first site on the itinerary Wat Ratchanatdaram.
It's here I'm greeted by Boy.
Boy is apparently a teacher at local school and he points to his school.
I let my guard a little as im reminded of the times i was approached by a teacher to teach in Cambodia and in China where i taught some kids for a day in
Yangshou, China . Boy tells me about the Wat and how it was built during time of Rama lV.
He proceeds it's the Buddhist festival today and all government tuk tuks are 10 baht today only.
He shows me the difference between a mafia tuk tuk and
a government tuk tuk.
Then he tells me I should take it the guy will take me to the temple where I can see some Mai Tai boxing and Thai dancers for free which usually cost about 2000 baht for the Mai Thai boxing at the stadium alone.
And I must leave now as the boxing and dancing finishes at 1pm whilst Wat Po will not open until 4pm. I decide to join, I hadn't thought to be honest to see any Thai boxing but think why not try and see a bit of it all.
Im told I need to visit a shop along the way.
No shop I say. The guy pleads and says he will get a petrol coupon for the shop visit.
I say one shop only and I'm not buying anything.
Ok the guy agrees. I get to the first temple. There is no dancing or fighting now and doesn't start until 6pm. I meet a French girl inside the temple and ask her if she is also on the 10 baht tuk tuk run.
She says she is and she's not sure why she took it as
last times he was here they told her the same thing seem festival and she visited the same places.
She said she has seen a lot of temples the past 3 months and is a bit templed out.
She hasn't been taken to any shops yet but says it helps them to get coupons for petrol.
It seems Ive been had.
Advertisement
Tot: 0.464s; Tpl: 0.016s; cc: 11; qc: 71; dbt: 0.2089s; 1; m:domysql w:travelblog (10.17.0.13); sld: 1;
; mem: 1.2mb
Daniela
non-member comment
Mr Fixit!
I met Mr Fixit in Bangkok too when I went there last year - he told me the same things, except he replaced orgasm with "Chi" (Your chi has never been opened. I have helped many women open their chi, they are forever grateful to me!) Haha. He guessed my age, sat me down, massaged my head and told me I had problems with sinus congestion (which I do). Before I knew it, he was blowing through my nose and to my absolute horror and humiliation (my travelling companion and a guy we had just met were watching) this gunk just flew out of my mouth. He finished by telling me I would feel much better and clearer and by the way, had a small problem with my kidneys. He also advised me to avoid getting water in my ears. I walked off in bewilderment, but at least my sinuses were clear!