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Published: July 16th 2006
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Since I last wrote, Indie and I have travelled around 800km south. We are currently in the quiet trading town of Hoi-An in Central Vietnam. In the last week we have: visited the picturesque highlands of Sapa; bribed a ticket inspector to let us stay on a train; pissed off a couple more of the locals; seen mysterious caves, temples and ruins; and bought loads of tailor-made clothes. Oh, and our wallet was stolen too.
I previously mentioned the omnipotent vendors here in Nam. They are becoming an irritating thorn in our side: everywhere we turn, they try to hawk us their motorbike rides, taxis, embroidery, bottled water, local food, custom-made clothes, shoes, tours and 'massages'. In the highlands of Vietnam we saw stunning scenery - mountains, valleys, lakes and a waterfall. We also had to smile and say 'no thanks' about a thousand times to local vendors who just couldn't comprehend why we didn't want to stock up on their rugs, pillowcases and bracelets.
A couple days ago we considered renting a motorbike to visit some famous caves near where we were staying. When Indie and I suggested to the bike guy that he should also lend us
helmets for the day, he looked at us as if we'd suggested something outlandishly crazy, and quietly chuckled. When I tried unsuccessfully to make the bike's brakes work, we decided to rent bicycles instead. I think it was for the best.
After cycling around 12k in the 35 degree heat, visiting a Buddhist temple then climbing a mountain, we decided to head back to the town we were staying at. We were pretty tired after the cycling and climbing. A kilometre or so down the road, Indie realised that we'd forgotten our backpack at the temple. This bag contained our digital cameras, passports, and over 2,000 pounds in sterling, dollars and Vietnamese dong. If a Vietnamese guy had found that bag, he'd have been made! Stricken by sheer panic, we cycled back toute suite like men possessed. We got to where we'd left the bag - inside the temple grounds. It wasn't there.
Like a swarm of bees, the locals descended upon this red-faced, stressed-out pair of foreigners. Much like the sketch in the Fast Show where the guy tries to change money in a bar and ends up involving increasingly more people in the transaction, which is
getting increasingly convoluted, more and more Vietnamese people gathered around. They started asking what had happened, offering their advice, shouting at one another and generally raising the volume (and tension) levels notch by notch! After a few mins of this, we were going nowhere, so we separated to search for the bag within the temple's various rooms. Overcome with relief, I found it nearby! After a quick check through the bag, we assumed everything was intact. We got home to find the wallet missing - it had around 40 pounds in local currency in it. Who steals a wallet from inside a temple?? I'm not a religious person, but I find it incredibly low to steal from inside a church, a Buddhist temple, a synagogue, a mosque or anywhere like that.
When we informed the police (as the insurance companies stipulate), we came up against a brick wall. The Vietnamese law is an ass. They politely informed us that in Vietnam, "it is not possible to issue a police report without proof". I explained the situation as clearly as possible - we had no idea who had taken the wallet: if we did then we'd have done something about
it! I believe that in these situations it's important to remain level-headed, esp. in Confucianist countries where losing one's temper is tantamount to losing face. However, I find it incredible that the police told us they could not even issue an official document stating that an investigation was underway (which you'd need within 24 hours to make an insurance claim). It felt like the moment in the Big Lebowski where the Dude asks the cop 'any leads??' only to be laughed at! (if you haven't seen it, you should).
I don't want to paint an unfairly negative picture of the Vietnamese people. For the record, we've met numerous very friendly locals, who have gone out of their way to tell us about their homeland. These locals included a soldier named Ziao who explained that most young people here bear no grudge towards the Americans in spite of the war. He had an endearingly quaint form of speaking English ("I beg your pardon..." and "I myself do not believe that..."!). When we were over-charged (again...) on a boat tour of Halong Bay, a student from Saigon - Megan - helped us out by translating to negotiate a fair price, and
she also offered to show us around her home city.
Moreover, there is natural beauty in this country. I know because I have seen it. Lonely Planet warns of 'unpredictable, violent storms' throughout July and August. We had seen no storm whatsoever until we were sitting in the small town of Ninh Binh a couple days ago (this happened right after the wallet-snatching incident). There is an electricity in the air before something violent happens. The temperature drops, the wind gathers strength and you just know the storm is approaching. This experience is so powerful because of the cool tension that grips the moment, building up until the rain comes crashing down.
On a lighter note, some random things that have happened to us lately:
*Over one weekend in Sapa, we spent more on train tickets and bribes than we did on food and accommodation!
*We met a group of Vietnamese-American tourists here, visiting their family. While on a boat tour of the Tam Coc caves, we joined in with them to randomly sing a medley of international songs including "I want it that way!", "Your Song" and "Time of Your Life". I tried unsuccessfully to
teach them "Flower of Scotland"!
*Many Vietnamese people believe whiter skin to be more beautiful than darker skin. For this reason, in spite of the 35-plus temperatures, many women wear gloves, trousers, face masks and long-sleeved tops.
*We've eaten a lot more noodles and vegetables!
*The Vietnamese go for predatory pricing in a big way. For most normal people (those who haven't studied Economics) it goes as follows: Vietnamese person asks how much a good/service costs, and is told the face value. Foreigner asks the same question in pidgin-Vietnamese, and the Vietnamese vendor stops, looks upwards, rolls his eyes, thinks for a moment or two, then plucks some figure from his imagination. This figure is invariable 50-100% higher than the price he quotes to his fellow countryman. If this was official govt policy (which it was until recent years) then I wouldn't mind. However, it's done in such a blatant way that it's really annoying.
One final thing I'd like to share with you from Hoi-An, the undisputed 'tailor-made clothes capital'of Vietnam:
Custom-made italian cashmere suit - $65
Custom-made French-style double-cuff shirt - $9
Custom-made corduroy winter jacket - $25
Custom-made pair of bootcut jeans
- $12
Realising that all of this costs merely a fraction of what I'd pay back home.... Priceless!
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Nix
non-member comment
Darling!
Guapito, u sould become a travel writer..ur clips are amazing! I would definitely buy ur bokk ;) I hope ur having a fantastic time, the photos look brilliant! Slide show when u get back!! Take care of yourself...we miss u! Love and hugs Nix xxx