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Well hello there all you lovely people, how’s things? Sorry it's been so long since I have written but the internet in Cambodia is absolute shite, very slow and pretty expensive so not a great combination when you're on a budget. I say that but it doesn't stop me from going out and pissing horrendous amounts of money up the wall drinking copious amounts of whiskey!
The morning of the 15th June at 8.30am was the time we had to saddle up and catch our bus out of Bangkok all the way across the Cambodian border to Siem Reap. At 10.15am the bus finally arrived. We let them off on this occasion as we boarded a luxury air conditioned VIP coach with reclining lazy boy seats, plenty of legroom and a film. At this point I’m thinking ‘I dunno what all the horror stories are for, this is shaping up to be quite a pleasant journey’ - oh how wrong I was! After a few hours traveling we arrived at a town 10km from the Cambodian border. We were told that we could stop for a bite to eat (phase 1 of the money milking scheme - we spend our
baht at one of their friends’ restaurants). We were told to give our passports and 1200 baht to our guide who would sort out our visas (phase 2 of the money milking scheme - paying over the odds for your visa but not given much choice because you’re told that if you do it on the border and there is any delay the coach will leave without you). An old woman took the passports and walked out of the restaurant - at this point everyone is getting a bit edgy! (phase 3 of the money milking scheme - making us depend on them so we can’t tell them to piss off!). Arrived at the border and as it was low season it was really quiet. We sailed through immigration in around an hour (I’ve heard horror stories of people queuing for up to ¾ hours in peak season!).
Our bus then arrived so me and Paul got on there first to get a good seat. We landed the perfect spot with an abnormally large amount of legroom, we were so chuffed! Our jubilation was short lived however as after 5 minutes we changed buses again. The new bus wasn’t
quite so nice. Quite uncomfortable, no legroom and totally packed; there were so many people on the bus that 3 Japanese girls had to sit on plastic garden furniture arranged in a line down the aisle! I did feel genuinely sorry for them, but not enough to offer any of them my seat. Sorry love, but it’s every man for himself when you’ve got a 6 hour bus journey ahead of you along some of the worst roads in the world! (phase 4 of the money milking scheme - cram 32 people on a bus made for 28 just for that extra few dollars).
We set off and the roads gradually deteriorated until they were literally just red dust littered with pot holes the size of small ponds. After a very bumpy and dusty 3 hours of driving about 20mph across what felt like the surface of the moon we took another pit stop at a restaurant for food and drink (a repeat of phase 1). We then once again saddled up and were told we would be driving for another 3-4 hours. By this time it was dark so decided to stick the ipod on and get a
quick nap - no chance! The roads are so bumpy that it is literally impossible without knocking yourself out on the window. It kind of teases you, you drive along a section of road that is just about bearable so you start to nod off, then as you are drifting the bus hits a pothole and you nearly hit your head on the ceiling!
The bus then (apparently) broke down. At the time we couldn’t believe it, we thought we were going to be sleeping there all night (phase 5 of the money milking scheme - pretend you have broken down by pushing the clutch in and switching off the engine so that you arrive at the guesthouse too late to go anywhere else). This happened twice and after the second time everyone started becoming a bit suspicious!
As we continued on we began to see a few blue florescent light tubes scattered randomly in the passing fields. Thought this was a bit strange, then we turned a corner to see acres and acres of remote fields with hundreds of these tubes suspended in mid air at random angles. It really was quite an amazing sight. The closest
thing that I can compare it to is an army of Jedi Knights with blue light sabers frozen in battle so that all you could see was the beams of light crossing each other as if locked in a blow. To the Cambodians this is a normal sight, but being totally unprepared for it I found it fascinating. I later found out that the lights are suspended at the top of a wooden frame above a transparent plastic sheet that leads into a tray beneath. The plastic is kept wet and the light attracts crickets which in turn hit the plastic then slide down into the tray at the bottom. These are collected by the farmer and sold at a good price as they are quite a delicacy here.
We eventually arrived at the guesthouse at around 11.30pm (phase 6 of the money milking scheme - time the journey with breakdowns in order to arrive in perfect time for the England vs Trinidad and Tobago match, knowing full well that the majority of people on the bus are English, making us even less likely to check in somewhere else). It actually turned out to be a reasonable guesthouse and
Amazing
I don't know how he managed it, but somehow Deano actually slept on the bus! at $2.50 a night with a hot shower we weren’t going to argue.
All in all an eventful trip! Although it may sound like we got totally shafted, we never really lost out financially, just wasted a shit load of time basically. I would still recommend that anyone coming here should do it as if you have a good crowd on the bus that can see the funny side it can be quite a laugh.
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Mel (SVC)
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Dearest Pedro!!!!!!
hello my darling pedro!!!! sounds like you are having some interesting times over there. So pleased to see u have got shot of you Gay Handlebars, i am afraid that look just wasnt you!!!! Everyone @ svc says hello, we are still missing your dulcet tones here, but we have rosie back with us now which is good!!! Still young free and single, thought i would save my self for you!!! Sure you have learnt alot from the lady boys!!!!! :-) Anyhow look after yourself and look forward to the next installment. Ps rabbit popped in today and said to say hi to you Mel x