Adventures in Paradise

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Approaching Kiritimati Island, South Pacific



I'm going to tell you a story today that may not resonate with those of you who haven't been on a cruise ship before.<span> If you have cruised then this story will either bring a smile to your face or raise your blood pressure to dangerous levels.<span> I'm talking about The Launderette.<span>

For reasons lost in the mists of maritime antiquity the cruise lines feel a need to put a small launderette aboard for the convenience of the passengers.<span> Usually there is one such launderette on the ship, sometimes one on each deck but in the end there are never enough. <span>

The only thing that could possibly cause more anger, frustration, violence, argument and strife would be if the ship was boarded by pirates.<span> On this ship there are four machines for 640 passengers which is fairly typical.<span> It is beyond comprehension why they think this will work.<span> Usually the machines themselves are fairly clapped out and held together with gaffers tape and wishful thinking.<span> They are usually apartment sized and limited capacity requiring several loads.

So it was good news when we learned that they were installing four new machines when we got to Hawaii.<span> Sure enough the launderette was closed for a day with lots of boxes and scurrying seamen doing the installation.<span> <span> I waited a day to let the backlog clear.<span> It was a port day so I thought it would be empty.<span> Wrong.

Clutching my little laundry bag I opened the door and stepped into the fifth level of Dante’s Inferno.<span> Swirling steam filled the air…in one corner two men were nose to nose alternately screaming at each other and at two hapless mechanics hunched protectively behind the machines.<span> Then out of the steam appeared a woman, hair frizzed out…her eyes rolling wildly, a pile of wet clothes clutched to her bosom.<span> “Oh my God”, she shouted. “There are only two machines working! What am I going to do?”<span> I stepped back, carefully closed the door and fled down the hall.

It is almost always like this.<span> On some ships there have been violent fights with people throwing hot irons at each other, security summoned and passengers put ashore.<span> What puzzles me is why do passengers, who have paid anywhere from $5000 to $25000, feel the need to wash their undies instead of sending the laundry out?<span> The ship has perfectly good laundry services.<span> Go figure!

They did finally get the other two machines working but I'm not tempting the dark side by opening that door again.

Tomorrow we anchor at Kiritimati ( Christmas) Island...a truly remote pacific island.<span> Everyone is very excited .

Harry and Connie

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Comments

[Julia]

Movie Material :)
Hahaha, Harry, even for non cruisers this is a wild and hilarious story, thank you for the insight :))

[Irv and Sandy Malis]

Funny
Funniest thing I've ever read….Very well written still laughing