Perdida en Lima

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Before I start writing I have to ask myself, Who is reading this? What can I say that will (A) not scare my parents and (B) not bore other people? Is this journal for me? Is it for my friends? Is it for the curious, anonymous traveller who happens to find it? I'll do my best to please everyone, but I may fail sometimes. Actually, I'm probably about to fail right now.

I got lost yesterday. After my morning Spanish class, I hopped three wrong buses and walked about a mile in the wrong direction. I know that’s not the kind of thing my parents want to hear. They probably REALLY don’t want to hear that I loved every minute of it. If I didn’t have that annoying voice in my head saying ‘Don’t be stupid,’ I’d REALLY let myself get lost. I’d hop on whatever bus my impulses told me to, and I wouldn’t get off until my heart said ‘this is the place.’

I hate the ‘Don’t be stupid’ voice. I think its being unreasonable most of the time. I know safety is important, but so is living life. Yes I understand that in order to live life, you have keep yourself alive, but where’s the balance? Why shouldn’t I trust my heart to find it?

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Photos

Gatito
the little kitten I found while lost(he's about to attack my shoelaces)

Comments

[Nicole]

Dude, getting on random busses and exploring the places I get lost in are my favorite way to travel. As long as I can find my way back... And, btw, my advice on blogs and journals is to keep them, mainly for yourself. Write about the things that you found interesting and beautiful. It will show through your writing. Much love, Nicole PS. I talked to your dad- ignore my last few emails. Rent is now taken care of. Woo-hoo!

[james]

katie!
katie! you're in peru... how exciting-- hope you're doing well talking, learning, seeing, and being alive. i hope you find much inspiration and it was great spending time with you in nicaragua this year. i look forward to reading more about your travels!

[Martin]

I don't think living life afraid to die is living life! However, I guess there is a certain line at which it just becomes recklessness. I don't know where that line is.

[annie88]

Pleasing people? Who gives a crap about that anymore??
This travel blog should be for you. So you can look back and be like, oh that's how I was feeling about that mango? I'm glad I wrote that down because individual experiences like that don't happen too much in America. Parents?? Parents are awesome and all, but some parents *aheemmmm*, you need not care what they think so much. Just a reminder. I get lost a lot. And you know what's starting to get fucked up? I end up in specific places, when I don't think too much about where I'm going. I was driving Mom's car around the other night. I ended up at Truro Road and Vikki Gilbert's house. I was killing some time and turned my brain half-off, (I do that, it's kind of a bad habit when I'm in the car slslslslsl), and was brought to Truro Road. I smiled when I got there. I kept driving and ended up at Vikki Gilbert's. I caught myself as I was approaching the driveway, and wondered "what the hell?" I turned my brain back on, and I was back in reality. I had been thinking about her that day (role model). The voice needs to change to Don't do that right now. I don't know how to change that voice, but it's a crappy one. Ignore it. Get a new voice, they're cool. I think that mean voice comes from dream crushers. Here's the thing about the heart (heart, not the organ, the thing that makes us want to be happy and passionate). The heart needs direction. The heart needs a home, and the home you give it is usually what you're most passionate about. It's the artistic outlet thing I was talking to you about on the phone. Just make sure the head rules over the heart. The heart is awesome and needs an outlet, so it can thrive, and give you happiness in return. But if the heart gets too much attention, it takes over the head and makes things too confusing, emotional, etc. for the head to work properly. Like right now, I'm writing. And my head is telling me, "people are going to read this and think this or that." And I should probably change how I'm writing so people don't think this or that, because I'm sensitive, so when people think I'm weird, crazy, or stupid, my reaction is ='( I ammmm???? Thankfully, my head can also bring me back when my heart reacts to criticism (sometimes... rarely... hopefully? lol). It says "People criticize, but that doesn't mean you have to believe them. Believe in yourself before others, because no one else can do that for you." - Inspirational look -