Day 29: UltraTourism and Motor Madness

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Fun Filipino Facts:


1) There is a standard conversation formula for talking to foreigners. It is as regular as the 1st year college freshman introduction (What's your name?; Where are you from?; What's your major?). If you ever find yourself in the body of a Filipino man here is how it goes:
"Where are you from?"
"Are you single?"
"Have you had any good prostitutes lately?"
If the questioner is a woman, replace the 3rd query with "Are you looking for a wife/girlfriend?"

2) No One knows shit about shit.
"I dont know" isn't in the Filipino dialect. Small problems can balloon when the correct answer to "Is this the way to the airport?" is "I don't know".
Or "Where is 'x' hotel?" answered with "That hotel shut down a few years ago" (wrong).
You can ask someone how to get to a town 10km away and they will tell you the name of another town nearby and brush their hands together, job well done.



I got to Boracay alone and wandered to the beach looking for some internet so I could find where Eric and Carla were going to stay when they arrived. The beach is about 1.5 miles long and I didn't want to end up on the opposite side. Neither were a problem to find. The problem now became how to sort out all the offers being thrown in your face. On the way to find internet I was offered hotel rooms at 5 different places; I was offered boat trips, and sunglasses, and drink specials, and massages, and jewelry, and watches...... Hundreds of hustlers trying to lighten your pockets for you, tourist paradise at last.

Boracay is a beautiful white beach lined with hotels, restaurants and bars with a footpath between the beach and the buildings. Thats about all there is. Traveling alone here was not too fun. It is billed as a party island and although I can drink by myself while watching World Cup but Im not really about solo clubbin. I had a pretty good wake, swim, eat, nap cycle. We went out a couple nights and had some fun dancin but other than that, nothing. I watched 12 or 14 games in 6 nights so mission accomplished.
I was both ready to leave the hectic hustle and ready to stay forever. Boracay had some power that blended days together; time passed over but not through us. Eric and Carla went to Manila. Eric and I may meet again in the north of the islands if all goes according to plan.

I had a quick flight south to Cebu where I jumped immediately on a ferry to Tagbilaran on the island of Bohol. This is the first time flash travel has worked out in this country! Found a nice place to stay centrally in town after an exhausting walk with my pack on. A small city of 100,000, it is pretty dense and easy to walk to everything you need.

The next morning I was set on another motorbike excursion. I got up early and had breakfast at the hotel. I joined a dour 40-something year old Englishman at his table. Not a very invigorating conversation, he complained the whole time about wanting to break up with his girlfriend, an 18 year old Filipina from Bohol. His reason was that she lied to him about her sexual history or something... He also was complaining that he wanted to break up with his other girlfriend in Cebu, but she had his camera... I guess he didn't really hold himself to the same standards he expected of his teenage companions. Creepy. And there are lots and lots of those around here, old white man-young Filipina.

I got motorbike from a shop down the street. This one was a slight improvement over the last. Some of the luxuries I was granted (no charge) included: a working headlight, a working horn, and mirrors. The speedometer was broken again along with the odometer but the gas gauge worked and I was given another shitty helmet worth no more protection than a double beanie with 3 layers of saran wrap taped on top. Scooting Bohol was a totally different experience from Coron. These roads were paved and there were *gasp!* signs indicating where to go! I found my first stop with ease, the Tarsier Reserve. Tarsiers are the worlds smallest primate. They have gigantic eyes, huge ears, and long ratty-lookin tails and they can fit in the palm of your hand. They are the worlds only entirely carnivorous primate as well, subsisting on insects and lizards. The reserve is basically a fenced off area. They can jump almost 10ft and easily climb over the high fence that keeps their number one predator out, feral housecats. They are also territorial so about 10 of the tiny monkeys return regularly. We went on a hike inside the fence and saw a few of the cuddly little lemurs including a mother and baby.

I headed next to the Chocolate Hills, the pride of Bohol and all the Philippines. The road ran upwards into the hills past farms and through lush forest. Coconut palm and banana spreckled the countryside; smaller plots of manioc; trellised hanging green bean vines. The rainy season has just begun and all the farmers were hard at work in flooded paddies. Newly sprouted rice shot up green out of the sky, reflected in the paddies. A mixture of technology old and new were in use to plow the fields. Some used carabao, some used gas-powered tracked hand plows. One farmer, done for the day, was riding home on his carabao; behind him on a sled was the gas-powered plow. At the Choco Hills there was an entry fee, a huge tourist center and lots of photographers ready to take your money. The hills bulged out of the ground like pimples on a teenager, rich green from all the rains. Eroded remnants from the coral sea, pushed upwards long ago. It was cool, but Im not sure if it was worth all the hype.

I figured I'd ride to the coast from there (there was a road on the map) so I could check out a different scene on the ride home. After some time and a look at my compass I turned back and asked some directions. A lad on his motorbike seemed like he had a pretty good grasp on things: Do I want to take the highway or the short cut? Why the shortcut of course. No reason to take the long way around.
It was The Cutty alright. The first stretch was well paved like the other roads I'd taken but that soon gave way to rock and gravel. The road shot up and up the mountainside. Possibly less frequented by pale faced tourists, every single person I passed for 2 hours waved, smiled, and shouted. Many gestured for me to come over but as I had no idea if I was on the right road nor where I was, I decided to make for time and keep on it. I came on stretches of paved road and stretches under construction. A new drainage system here, a new sewer line there. Whole schools full of children ran out onto the street as I passed. "Hey man!" many people shouted, emulating my native California. The road kept rising and my water bottles expanded with the drop in pressure; the air cooled noticeably. Through gaps in the forest I could see distant fertile valleys whose lower slopes were neatly terraced with paddies.

I finally summited the pass and the azul sea stretched out before me. Down and down. The road was wholly paved now into an endless series of switchbacks. Down I went for an hour. I finally reached Jagna on the sea and had some lunch. My bike was due back by 5pm so I set out again. The coast road is notoriously hazardous and I soon learned why. People crowded the sides of the road. Slow-moving tricycles and recklessly fast-moving trucks met and passed one another. The heat and sun and wind were relentless. I would cruise somewhere around 40mph, dogs and children taunting to jump out, and a car would fly past me doing at least 70mph... on a 2-lane crowded highway. Traffic in the opposite was in as much a passing frenzy as our side. More than once a van would pass a van, entering my lane when I was openly visible. There was a small measure of courtesy and he would leave me at least 3 ft of my own lane in which to maneuver. I did have to jump onto the shoulder once but I probably overreacted. My body armor (shoes and a tinfoil helmet) didn't give me much comfort. I would surely be laughed at by any locals who like to ride 5 deep; mother, father and 3 kids, all with sandals and no helmet. Weary, I finally made it home, wind and sunburnt, and took a long cold shower and a nap.

Tomorrow to Camiguin.

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Comments

[taz]

nice blog! I will be following your next adventure. Been in Bohol, Boracay and Coron, really enjoyed the place with my friends. Guess you missed the island hopping which is really cool. Virgin island and snorkeling in balicasag is all worth the trip. I agree its hard to be a solo traveller but much harder if you do it here. We usually travel by group. Camiguin is very nice place. Been there too. Its a small island with lots to see. Be sure not to miss the hot and cold springs, sunken cemetery, the huge clams santuary and the postcard perfect White island. I recommend to hire a motorbike again to tour the island. White island is about half an hour boat ride. You might also want to see Davao. Will be glad to tour you here. just email me. Enjoy your travels!