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21 May 2010
1722 (GMT +3)
Giza, Egypt
Lewis Black once said:
"There is no better moment than this moment, when we’re anticipating the actual moment itself. All the moments that lead up to the actual moment are truly the best moments. Those are the moments that are filled with good times. Those are the moments in which you are able to think that it is going to be perfect when the moment actually happens. But, the moment is reality, and reality, always kind of sucks."
After three long weeks in country - a little less than a quarter into my stay - I needed some escape from reality, even if only for a while. What’s my favorite means of escaping reality - aside from spending some quality time with
The Big Fellow? Why, going to the movies, of course. So that’s what I did today.
Now, before I get the flaming emails about coming all the way to Cairo to go to the movies, let me just say that, unlike someone who comes here for a week or two as a tourist, it’s likely that I’m going to be here for several months yet. I assure you, there’s down time. I agree that it would be silly for someone here only for a few days to waste their time with movies when they could be, say, seeing the pyramids. But that’s not me. It is my understanding that I can officially be called an
expatriate (never to be confused with ex-patriot). In other words, I’m not a tourist, I’m a student. I live here…at least for the time being.
Back to the task at hand, the never ending attempt to escape reality. For me, going to the movies has always been fun. Who doesn’t enjoy a fine piece of cinematic adventure? So, I did an internet search for cinemas in Cairo, and found one within walking distance (for me, at least), in Cairo, north along the Corniche el-Nil. This is a heavy tourist area, with several high class hotels overlooking the river. In this area there is a Western-style mall, with a cinema included. There were a number of films being shown, split about evenly between American and Egyptian films, and among these was
Iron Man 2. Perfect! There could be no better form of escapism at the moment. (I will forego further detail on the movie itself, as this is not meant to be a review/critique of the film. What I will say is that it did not disappoint.) I decided on the early show, which began at 1000.
As it turned out, just getting to the theater was an adventure in and of itself. As I am like to do, I chose to walk. After walking to Coptic Cairo, nothing really seems all that far anymore. It took me about an hour, including a stop for a cup of coffee and a sandwich at a local coffee chain called Cilantro. I am unsure as to the provenance of the name, but it was decent coffee.
I reached the mall at about 0945, and approached what appeared to be the ticket counter. In my broken Arabic, I attempted to converse with the attendant who, apparently, spoke even less English.
-Sabah el-kheer. (Good morning)
-Sabah el-kheer.
-Hel Iron Man hena? (Is Iron Man here?)
-Aiwa, aiwa. (Yes, yes.)
-Tamam. Wahid, min fad lak. (Good. One, please.)
-Inaudible.
-Assef? (Sorry? As I lean in closer to the hole in the glass, so as to hear better.)
-Still inaudible.
I’m not sure what he’s trying to say, but I think he’s telling me that the movie starts at 1000, which I already knew.
-Tamam, tamam. Bicam? (How much?)
-Khamsa wa eshreen gineah. (Twenty five pounds.)
Great, now we’re getting somewhere. I slip two twenties under the glass. He gives me a confused look.
He says something else that I didn’t understand, but I’m getting the impression that I can’t get the appropriate ticket right here, right now. I reevaluated my analysis of what I think he’s getting at, and my new guess is that the ticket window doesn’t actually open for business until 1000. No problem. I find a chair at a small table in the lobby and wait. 1000 rolls around, and I go back to the window.
-Iron Man? (He asks.)
-Aiwa, Iron Man.
He points behind me where, on the opposite wall, behind a big pillar, is another ticket window. Apparently, they split up the movies between two ticket windows, and your first test before getting into the flick is to figure out which window you should go to. Super. Glad we figured that out. I kind of wish you'd just pointed in the direction I should have gone fifteen minutes ago.
Regardless, I head over to the other window. I go through the same conversation that I had with the first guy. Excellent, I can get a ticket here. He then says something that I don’t understand. I give him a perplexed look, and he turns his computer monitor towards me, where I see a seating diagram of the theater. Ah, he wants me to select my seat. How convenient.
-Mafish Mashkela. (It doesn’t matter to me.)
He goes back to typing, and I give him the pair of twenties from before. (As a side note, twenty five pounds sounds expensive until you remember that the currency conversion puts it at less than $5. In other words, I paid less to see this movie in this theater than I would have to rent it from Blockbuster back home.) Apparently he didn’t have the 15 EGP change available, though, so I waited another five minutes or so while he called someone to bring him some smaller bills. This seems to be a common occurrence in Egypt, according to my observations thus far.
It’s about 1010, and I’m thinking in American terms - that I’m missing commercials and previews, and had better hurry before I miss the start of the film. Finally, with my ticket and change in hand, I make my way over to where Iron Man should be playing. Like in the US, there is a ticket check before you actually get to where the various films are showing. In this case, there were three attendants posted at this station. (I’ve noticed a great deal of staffing redundancy in Egypt thus far, but that is a topic for a future article.) I give my ticket to one of them, who tears it in half, and then proceeds to lead me to the correct theater. This is interesting to me, as I’ve never actually been escorted to my seat.
I was shown to my seat, and as it turned out, it was an exceedingly good thing that I picked my seat in advance, since I was the only person in the whole 78-seat theater. (Yes, I counted the seats.) And, it was also a good thing that I got seated when I did, because the 1000 movie started promptly at 1027. I remained the only patron throughout the duration of the film.
There was only one preview preceding the picture, for an Egyptian film whose title I did not catch, but I think I got the gist of the plot. As best as I could determine, the story was about a young school teacher - who bears an uncanny resemblance to an Egyptian Ugly Betty - and who undergoes some kind of makeover, in the image of Hannah Montana. (I was actually able to pick up the words “Hannah Montana” from the preview.) She goes around, getting into various types of mischief, and at the critical moment, she strikes a pose, flashes the peace sign, and says “YES!,” at which point everyone breaks out in laughter and starts dancing.
I thought for a moment that I’d been taken into the wrong theater - that the attendants had decided to play a prank on the idiot American tourist, or perhaps that this was actually a preview of what Hell must be like. I decided that the easiest and most painless way out would just be to just jab my pen into my jugular vein. But thankfully, before I was able to carry out my plan, the movie started and I was carried away into a dream world of magic…complete with Arabic subtitles.
After two hours and four minutes, I walked out of the theater rejuvenated, reinvigorated, and with spirits lifted. Maybe it sounds silly, and maybe I just never grew out of a little boy’s fascination with superhero movies, but that was just what I needed today. I don't care what anyone thinks.
Next week is the last week of class for this term. Maybe I’ll come up with some grander plan for next weekend.
-MG
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will
non-member comment
One of the first things you learn over there is horde your small bills! They are like gold.