How to get ripped off in Brasil

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Hi Guys

Yes it has been a very long time since our last update. We have been stranded without the internet for a while. We are currently in Bonito, Brasil but i thought i would break up our last few places into a few different blog entries. Otherwise this one would end up novel-length.

So, last time we left off we were in Paraty, a small coastal historic town on the coast of Brasil. Paraty was awesome, we had such a blast and it is such a pretty town. The hostel we stayed at (Historic Centre hostel) is run by this gruff old english guy called John, who comes across all mean and grumpy but is actually a sweetheart underneath. He owns 4 hostels in Paraty, runs them loosely, and hasnt bothered to learn a word of portugese. Classic. But full of lots of useful info for us.

Anyways. On one particular night, (after the island hopping day trip i wrote about in our last blog) hayden and i were walking back to the hostel, but we completely overshot it. When we realised our mistake we turned around. Where we passed by a gate that had security on the door and we could hear some thumping music coming from behind the walls. When the door opened we could see into someones private residence. Being drunken monkeys we were feeling somewhat adventurous and somehow managed to blag our way into the party. This place was awesome. A huge house, with a big backyard, fish pond, decking, water feature, a big projector set up showing video clips, a personal bar where you could order whatever drink you wanted, and waiters serving hors d'oevres.

Everyone was dressed up to the 9's and there is hayden in his bintang singlet and trackydacks, and me in shorts a top and thongs. We decided that we had to blend in, so we joined the ppl dancing, and just started trying to make conversation, while sipping on our stolen drinks 😊

Turned out it was the birthday party for some rich woman, we were dancing with the birthday lady of honour and they totally knew we had crashed and seemed to find us quite entertaining hahaha. But we only stayed about an hour, we were just so tired and we had been drinking for most of the day. But definitely a funny experience.

The next day we were leaving to catch the bus to Ilha Grande, and the owner of the boat we had done the island cruises with rocked up because he said we hadnt paid. But we had -> We had paid the crew for the drinks and our tickets all at once, but it turned out you were supposed to pay the hostel the cost of the tickets, which they pass onto el capitain. The crew were denying that we had given them the money for the ticket (theiving buggers). So with our bus due to leave in 15 mins hayden ran off to sort it out (we didnt want to miss our bus because then we would miss the one ferry for the day to the island). They kept denying it saying that we hadnt paid them, and finally they kinda caved, but not before hayden paid them some extra money.

We made it to the bus just in time, only to have the driver attempt to cheat us. I handed him a large note for the ride, and then hopped on the bus. Once we had sorted our bags out through the stupid turnstiles i went to get my change and he was saying he already gave it to me. I was getting angry and saying NO YOU DIDNT, Hayden got involved. some random passengers got involved and the driver finally grudgingly handed over our change. haha. damn brazilians, try to rip you off at every moment.

Oh now is probably the time to mention our BIGGEST gripe about brasil - the turnstiles on the buses. Every local bus has a turnstile on it. So as you get on there is a queue to go through the turnstile and hand your money over to the dude. Once you pay you can go through. Quite a time saving idea, since it means the driver isnt caught up in dealing with change, and can get on with driving. However the turnstiles are not very wide at all (god help you if you are fat) and the drivers are maniacs, so you get thrown all over the place. Now imagine going through the turnstiles laden down with a massive backpack on your back and a daypack on your front, and other bags in your hands, trying to ferret out some change, while trying to keep your balance. It is VERY difficult 😊

Side Note: My second gripe are the open electrical wires on the electrical shower heads, and i have been electrocuted Twice! OUCH!

Moving along .... so Ilha Grande. A BIG island (hence the name) off the coast of brazil, approx 2 hours south of Rio, and only a couple hours up from Paraty. Very very pretty island. Lots of great hiking trails, some gorgeous beaches and inlets, but no cash machines. haha. And we forgot to get cash out. It was funny trying to pay for our accommodation and transfers off the island by visa .. walking from shop to shop trying to get someone to accept eftpos and then hand the cash over to the vendors who required it, while paying the shop a small fee.

On our last day, since we had done the hiking and sightseeing, we decided to just relax and chillout on the beach ... because, you know, life is difficult and we wanted to unwind hehe. We were swimming in a quiet, still bay, listening to the sound of nature all around us, and then this loud doof doof music starts up. And it was coming from these two dinky old boats tied up together. And then we see these three middle-aged brazilian guys dancing and singing with their tops off, waving beers and cooking up a bbq on the back of the boat. Brilliant. We decided if we swam out near them they might invite us on board. So we did. And they did. So with icy cold beers in our hands, and delicious meat fresh off the grill hayden and i try to communicate in my crap spanish to the portugese speaking brazilians, with their zero english. Good Times. They invited us fishing, but it was 3.30pm and they werent going to be back till 10pm so i declined, but hayden went with them and had a blast. They went out in the dark and used hand reels and caught a few little sharks and everything.

After Ilha Grande we moved onto Rio De Janeiro. The best part was our transfer off the island. Everywhere they have advertised big colour prints for the transfer company (there is only one) saying "SPEED + COMFORT + SAFTEY". They tell us you will get to your hotel in Rio within 3-3.5 hrs. (It took 6.5 so i think they lied on the "SPEED" part). They also squooshed about 24 ppl into a minivan and then placed all the luggage down the skinny aisle, all piled up. No one could move a single muscle. (so i also think they lied on the "COMFORT" part). And then, about halfway along the extremely bumpy, uncomfy ride, hayden and i who were sitting in the back seats heard this loud creaking noise and could suddenly feel hot air on our backs. We looked around and the back doors had literally come open and bags have falled out the back onto the road. hahahaha. We yelled at the driver, who stopped the van and picked up the bags. I said to hayden that i thought more had fallen out, meanwhile the driver is closing the doors thinking that was it. At that moment a little car pulls up behind us and the lady gets out and hands the driver a big backpack (this english girl yells out "hey thats my bloody bag") it was hilarious (methinks they also lied about the "SAFTEY" part too). hahaha. Everything about brasil just cracks us up. Its very setup to make a lot of money out of dumb, non-portugese speaking tourists.

OH I ALMOST FORGOT .... in Ilha Grande I had a night to myself (hayden was fishing with the locals) so i decided to clean out my whole backpack and repack everything. And could feel something hard and small in the lining. Found a hole in the lining, reached in right to the underside where this mystery hard thing was, pulled it out ... and found my camera!! FRICKING Awesome. So it turns out it didnt get nicked in Flori. Boy did i feel bad, but also stoked to have my camera again. hahaha. Yes L is not for Leah, its for Loser 😊

So, next blog will be all about our time in Rio. Didnt want to make everyone cross-eyed from too much reading in one go 😊

Hope everyone is well and happy! Oh yeh HAPPY EASTER! Hope you all took advantage of the extra long weekend.

Hayden and Leah
xxx

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Comments

[nicky]

ola!
Sounds like you guys are having an amaaaazing time. Have you been affected by the floods at all? I see RIO has had unprecedented torrential rain and flooding.

[beck]

dork
Leah Leah LO-Leah.. (the "LO" stands for Loser.) xx