Since you're all dying to know...

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I just finished my second day of teaching, which was about as bad as the first day, except I actually made class last for the allotted time. One thing's for sure: I was meant to be a graphic designer; I was meant to be a linguist; I was meant to be customer service rep, politician, or scholar--but I was not meant to be a teacher. It's really hard for me!

You have to think on your feet. I can only think on paper, and when I can't, I stand there, paralyzed, for as long as it takes for me to formulate a coping method and response. With EFL, you have to be creative--you create lessons and have a million ideas on reserve in case something goes wrong. I have spent upwards of six years creating databases and running analyses on world affairs, and consequently have lost the creative ability and energy patterns that EFL teaching necessitates.

You have to like kids, which I do, but I'm slightly afraid of them sometimes. There is a real language barrier between us, which means I have lost nine-tenths of my ability to befriend and inspire. What other ways can you reach out to them? That's my other problem: I'm not a people person--not really. Other teachers seem to walk in and determine right away what level everyone is at, just by osmosis or something. I've been standing in front of the class for three days, and I still haven't figured out what level anyone is at! Apparently, there's a lot that passes between people that I simply miss.

You also have to have a something of a commanding presence. I'm not really that way. Everyone talks shouts while I'm trying to teach, and this is somewhat demoralizing. I'm not very good at making them shut up, either. This is not to say they are bad kids--they're great! When I walk into the orphanage they eagerly sit down and wait for the lesson (I was half an hour early today, so this presented a problem). When they're late, the kids come up to you and bow while apologizing for being late. After class, several of the girls ran up to me and hugged me. I hugged back, because such things are not creepy in Cambodia. Isn't that nice?

Bottom line is, I like the kids, and I want to help them; teaching, however, is always going to be a struggle with me.

In the end, I gave up on trying to interact with them in an authoritative manner and spent the last part of the class playing games. Boy are those kids competitive! I had two of them stand in front of the board, and when I showed them a key word, they had to turn around and find it on the board. The first person to do this won a point for his or her respective team. Of course, the entire class would be shouting the answer; they couldn't seem to wait their turn to stand up front; and whenever a team won a point, you could hear them screaming their victory all the way up the Mekong.

So that's what EFL is like. I'm not sure it's for me. At all.

Since you're dying to know, I'm still going to China. Everyone's been telling me, Just go to China. I have thus decided that--since I spent $329 on a Chinese visa--I will still head to Jining. I probably won't stay for a year, though--I'm thinking till September. Just long enough to avoid Cambodia's hot season, rainy season, and dengue fever. I'll reassess China (my city, my school, my personal growth, my linguistic capabilities), and if I like it, I will stay. If I'd rather hang out with the awesome folks in Indochina, then I'll come back down here to Cambodia (which seems to happen with LanguageCorps students more often than you might expect). That's a plan, right???

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Comments

[sean]

Teaching
After reading your journal, I think that it seems you spend more time complaining and whining instead of making the situation better. If you whine and cry that much, then you should removed yourself completely from teaching English in just about any country. Go back to do what you have like and leave the teaching up to somone who will enjoy it with a passion regardless of how hard it will be. Just my two sense on it.

[Global Drifter]

See, this is what I'm talking about.
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN--you see what I mean?? This is what I mentioned in a previous comment. You tell the nitty-gritty truth about ONE THING. You mention the reality of what you did and how you feel in ONE SPECIFIC SITUATION--and everyone jumps down your throat!!! To the best of my knowledge, I was not complaining. I was giving--GOD FORBID!--an honest self-analysis, an expression of my amazement at really good teachers, and a discussion of my day for folks at home who might never do such a thing themselves. I thought I was passing along interesting and potentially valuable information for other readers. CAN YOU UNDERSTAND THAT??? No--instead, you have to write to a random stranger and totally insult her. I suppose you only want to hear disingenuous syrupy goodness bubbling from my blog, am I correct? Then FINE, stop reading this blog and go back to whatever YOU like to do! AND TO THE ORIGINAL POSTER--I'm sorry, but it sounds like YOU need EFL lessons as well. Please don't insult me until you can use adequate English grammar.