The Sounds of Mediocrity

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I have a real job now.

Not having a job has many downsides (all rooted in money) but there are some perks. You actually wake up at a decent time. You exercise. You eat. You get sun. You meet people. You talk to people. You have time to pursue hobbies. You go to sleep at your convenience.

You basically have a life.

What I have now is a job. A job in a bank. A job in an international bank. A job in a huge-ass motherfucking international bank. A job in a huge ass motherfucking international bank in Tokyo.

This means I wake up at 7am, hastily cram food in the ten minutes I allot for breakfast, shave for 5 minutes, fix my bed hair into something presentable in 5 minutes, throw on a long sleeved collared shit, tie and suit (combined time 3 minutes) , walk under the scorching hot sun (2 minutes), shove myself into the crammed 8:08 Tokaido and ride it for 14 minutes as I find myself pressed up against a sweaty salaryman’s back, or the shiny dome of some geezer.

I live for moments.

I hope some world changing event will flash on the TV during the ten minutes I guzzle tea and stuff fruit down my throat for breakfast (and no, the shit in Iran/Lebanon don’t count…my definition of world=America). I hope I find a long, thin hair on my chin so I can have the satisfaction of shaving it off. I hope I find myself shoved against someone young in the train—man or woman I don’t care—so I don’t have to be pressed up against a 45 year old suit reeking of unfiltered tobacco, stale beer and cheap mousse. I hope the train is one minute early so I’ll have an extra minute during my transfer.

Because if none of these things happen, I have nothing to smile about. The train is hurtling at insane speeds but my face is smashed against someone’s back so the only movement I can relate to is the soft kata-katunk of the rocking train. Kata-katunk. Two days till Friday. Kata-katunk. Today is Wednesday. Kata-katunk. The 15th. Kata-katunk.

I fight my way out at Shimbashi. Kutu-kutu. The patter of well worn heels. Kutu-kutu. 3 flights down. Kutu-kutu. Ginza line. Kutu-kutu. 8:38 train. Kutu-kutu. 5th car. Kutu-kutu. 4th door. Kutu-kutu.

I shove myself in. The doors close. Kata-katunk. Today is Wednesday. Kata-katunk. Today is Wednesday. Kata-katunk. Two days till Friday. Kata-katunk.

I’m disgorged two stops later. Tameike-sanno. Nanboku line now. Hurtle in. Modern train. Matum-matum. Muffled almost. Matum-matum. But still there. Matum-matum. Definitely there. Matum-matum. Wednesday. Matum-matum. Wednesday.Matum-matum.

One stop. 6 minutes later. Roppongi-itchome. My building is connected to the station. Marble floors. Click-clack. I’m early. Click-clack. 15 minutes early. Click-clack. I’m always early. Click-clack. But everyone is rushing. Click-clack. I need to rush. Click-clack. I sprint. Click-clack. With the rest. Click-clack. Shove into the elevator. Click-clack.

High speed. Skips the first 24 floors. The floors whiz by. Ding, ding, ding, ding. Meeting at 10. Ding, ding, ding, ding. Presentation at 2. ding, ding, ding, ding. Today is Wednesday. Ding, ding, ding, ding. Wednesday. DING!

Click-clack. Everyone is brisk. Click-clack. I need to be brisk. Click-clack. Locked door. Beep-beep. Opened with my card. Click-clack. Down the hallway. Click-clack. 10 meters, hang a left. Click-clack. Another door. Beep-beep. Two rows down. Click-clack. 5 desks down. Click-clack.

8 minutes early. As usual.

I want to sleep. I’m tired. I’m exhausted.

It’s 8:52am. I boot my computer.

One deep breath…

Type my username. Clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack. My password. Clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack. 8:55am.

I start replying. Clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack. To emails. Clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack. I start coding.

Clackity, clackity, clackity, clackity, clackity, clackity, clackity, clackity, clackity, clackity, clackity, clackity, clackity, clack. Clackity, clackity, clackity, clackity, clackity, clackity, clackity, clackity, clackity, clackity, clackity, clackity, clackity, clack. Clackity, clackity, clackity, clackity, clackity, clackity, clackity, clackity, clackity, clackity, clackity, clackity, clackity, clack. Clackity, clackity, clackity, clackity, clackity, clackity, clackity, clackity, clackity, clackity, clackity, clackity, clackity, clack. Clackity, clackity, clackity, clackity, clackity, clackity, clackity, clackity, clackity, clackity, clackity, clackity, clackity, clack. Clackity, clackity, clackity, clackity, clackity, clackity, clackity, clackity, clackity, clackity, clackity, clackity, clackity, clack. Clackity, clackity, clackity, clackity, clackity, clackity, clackity, clackity, clackity, clackity, clackity, clackity, clackity, clack. Clackity, clackity, clackity, clackity, clackity, clackity, clackity, clackity, clackity, clackity, clackity, clackity, clackity, clack. Clackity, clackity, clackity, clackity, clackity, clackity, clackity, clackity, clackity, clackity, clackity, clackity, clackity, clack. Clackity, clackity, clackity, clackity, clackity, clackity, clackity, clackity, clackity, clackity, clackity, clackity, clackity, clack. Clackity, clackity, clackity, clackity, clackity, clackity, clackity, clackity, clackity, clackity, clackity, clackity, clackity, clack. Clackity, clackity, clackity, clackity, clackity, clackity, clackity, clackity, clackity, clackity, clackity, clackity, clackity, clack. Clackity, clackity, clackity, clackity, clackity, clackity, clackity, clackity, clackity, clackity, clackity, clackity, clackity, clackity…

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Photos

Where I Work
Not shitting you...my company owns 8 floors of this beast.

The Elevators
Japs love cramming into things, too bad their dicks don't help them in this regard

Comments

[anonymous]

You're forgetting one sound.
What sound does it make when you jerk it?