Singapore and Heathrow Terminal 3

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March 28-31 - Singapore

Safely though Brisbane airport leaving the outsize baggage guy with a hernia. Jeez, man, watcha got in here? - A few golf clubs and the odd shoe..., say I. As Emirates were keen to get us on an earlier (and less crowded) flight, the extra weight of piles of souvenir reading matter were loaded on, presumably leaving the Brisbane hernia unit with a busy day ahead.

An hour or two of sleep over the tropical seas, and it was time to hit the northern hemisphere again. Only just, as Singapore is only 1 degree away from the equator. Most efficient airport arrival on record. Escorted by uniformed taxi organiser into plush cab. "This way, sir. The driver will take care of your bags. He loves hernias." Our taxi driver set the tone for our 60 hours in Singapore. Interested, bright, interesting and informative. As we were to discover, taxi drivers in Singapore are part of the propaganda machine of this so efficient place. 'You fir time Singapore? You'll like ver much. Singapore good place. Good govment. You wan computer? Don buy compu this place. Buy tha place. You buy compu this place they sell ol compu in new box. Get home, compu no work. You buy compu no work, tell govment. Govment sort out for you.'

Fantasy Interlude:
Dear Mr Brown,
Having purchased my new Dell computer from PC World, I discovered that it failed to work on start up. It was then I noticed the word 'Amstrad' had been half obliterated by a streak of Tippex. Please sort this out for me asap....

Dear Mr Smith
Please find enclosed replacement Dell computer. You will have noticed that the Hedge End branch of PC World is no longer allowed to trade. Please do not hesitate to contact me personally if you have other retail issues to resolve.

Yours sincerely

G. Brown

PS Don't worry about the cost of postage. I think I've found a way of claiming this back on expenses.

Some issues about freedom of expression remain in Singapore, but this transient visitor could not fail to notice the fact that everything in the city seemed to work and the standard of service was invariably impressive. Maybe this is a presumptuous statement, given the brevity of our stay. We splashed out on a couple of nights at the Traders Hotel which was a far cry from the Apollo Lodge, Wellington. There was a difference in price to pay, but we had our money's worth of 4 star luxury, particularly as we stretched our two nights to the limit by checking in at 10 am and checking out at 7 pm. Thick carpets, silent lifts, panoramic views and at every turn, a wide smile from any employee within 5 metres.

Singapore is hot and steamy. It's probably even hotter because of all the air conditioners pumping out air which would easily warm several thousand woks at once. Umbrellas have a dual function - protection from the mid-day sun and, later in the afternoon, from the brief cloudburst which clears the air for about ten minutes afterwards. Central Singapore is a lovely place to walk around, with greenery everywhere, often being meticulously tended and nurtured. Shame we only had the time and energy to scratch the surface of Singapore. When energy levels wilted in the heat, it was easy to make for the nearest museum, shopping mall or taxi to restore us. I'm the last person to derive much pleasure from wandering aimlessly through John Lewis or Tesco, but I did enjoy the variety of retail opportunities available in Singapore. There's the soaring glass and concrete malls of Orchard Road, the squeeze past floor to ceiling mountains of fruit, computers and textiles in the Mustafa Centre in Little India and the less frantic, highly organised feel of a shopping centre in Chinatown. With the clout of the Singaporean Government protecting my consumer rights, I invested in a new watch (still ticking 6 weeks on) from the watch shop just round the corner from the nibbling fish massage parlour. I resisted the temptation of having the dead skin removed from my feet by shimmering shoals of tiny garra rufa ('soft nibblers and strong nibblers available'😉.

It's Singapore's cultural mix of Malay, Indian and Chinese which makes it a great place to eat. As it happened, Traders Hotel had so much food available for us at either end of the day as part of our deal , that we treated most of the food on offer elsewhere as part of window shopping. Watching the highly skilled is always fascinating. None more so than the guy who single-handedly processed every stage of making buckwheat noodles from scratch. He ground the flour, mixed, rolled and cut the stuff before your very eyes and the eyes of the considerable crowd that just stood and gawped in admiration. This was not Ronald McDonald. I want to go back to Singapore when I'm hungry.

It's hard to escape the name Raffles in Singapore. Sir Thomas Stamford Bingley Raffles founded the place in 1819 and his and the British Imperial legacy is still obvious. We followed Somerset Maugham's and Noel Coward's advice and sat with a ludicrously expensive orange juice in the Palm Court of Raffles Hotel for a bit, having been shown the door at reception by several guys from a Persil ad. 'I'll tell Mr Coward you called...Now bugger off'. 'But we're British, man. Without let or hindrance and all that....I shall speak to the High Commissioner and have you flogged...." These were the only people in Singapore who didn't smile much. But maybe if an old bloke in a cheap and very sweaty polo shirt pushed my front door open wanting a nose around, I'd say the same, unless, of course, he was a friend of Noel's.

Just round the corner from Raffles Hotel is the Padang, currently home of upmarket tennis and the Singapore Cricket club. As we scurried past on Saturday afternoon making for the next patch of shade, some mad dog or Englishman was steaming in from the River End with an out-swinger in his hand. Leaving Lee Wan Flintoff to complete his hat-trick, we ducked into the excellent Asian Civilisations Museum, followed by a riverboat trip in the mini-monsoon. Visually and physically it was a good way to spend an hour, but the commentary on the boat was redolent of those Look at Life voice-overs, full of cliché and propaganda. "If only those buildings could speak....Caught between a turbulent past and a prosperous future.....Blah, blah, Raffles, blah". Raffles, essentially a good man (?), had he heard this, would have languidly turned in his grave and had the commentator shot, like the tiger which met the front end of a bullet in (or was it under ? ) the billiard room of Raffles Hotel in 1902. Google this for full story.

That's about it. Great trip. Thanks, Emirates for the flights, D & E for the taste of Arabia, Ivor & Helen for their company and concern in Melbourne, Rosie P for the high life in Auckland and countless others whose company we enjoyed, in motels and hotels, in B & Bs, on the road, up mountains, on boats and beaches, and of course our friends P & T who shared our enthusiasm for Australia and MarynDick for their company in New Zealand. Thanks to all I met on golf courses - Barry and Martin in Dubai, Bill in Merimbula, Kiwi Steve (Queenstown) and Californian Steve (Wanaka) and the guys at Taupo.

Getting back home makes you appreciate your own surroundings and culture. Like the fact that we have honest politicians, a thriving economy and wonderful weather. After spending time in state of the art airports (Singapore and Dubai), it was comforting to realise that Heathrow is doing its best to welcome visitors to Britain. The first sign visible at Terminal 3 on the trek from plane to baggage read "NO WORKING TOILETS PAST THIS POINT" It's nice to be home.

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Comments

[Alan Brookes]

honest politicians
Mike On the assumption that this blog will remain somewhere in the ether for ever; having just re-read it, I was struck by this phrase in the second line of the last paragraph and wondered if you wished to rephrase it in the light of current circumstances? A